Category Archive


Family meetings help my relationship, save me money, and rock my socks

I am a terrible housekeeper. I’m also terrible at saving money. And talking about my feelings. And cooking (because I don’t plan ahead). And making time for my husband. At least, I WAS terrible at all of these things until… family meetings! I found a print-out somewhere in the depths of the internet called “Peek at the Week.” I showed it to my husband and he was mostly indifferent about it until I told him all of my amazing plans.

How to have hard conversations like a pro

As an attorney, a lot of my job is helping people have hard conversations. Over years of facilitating these tough conversations, I’ve come up with some steps that make them more productive and less painful. These aren’t just good for “legal” conversations — they can work for anything from talking about moving cross-country for a job to planning a birthday party!

Should you talk about money with people who have different financial priorities?

I have a friend who often makes remarks about having no money. “We can’t afford to buy fruits and vegetables.” “I hope you’re not getting sick, because we can’t afford a visit to the doctor.” “We can’t make it to your place for game night because we can’t afford the gas.” It’s true that they don’t have much, raising a family of three on just a teacher’s salary. But it seems (to me) like the money they do have is spent frivolously or unnecessarily. I don’t have a problem with people indulging when they have the disposable income. But I’m getting more and more uncomfortable. Commenting about being poor followed by showing a link to a costume jacket that he hopes to purchase frustrates me. Should I speak up and say something, or just chalk it up to different priorities?

How do you keep up communication in a relationship when you hardly see each other?

Describing my relationship as “night and day” takes on a more literal tone when I am awake during the day and sleep at night while my fiance works overnight and sleeps during the day. It could seem that our communication could struggle in a relationship like this, but the truth is we maintain very open communication with each other; we just have to utilize methods available to us. So how do we “make it work” as the fabulous Tim Gunn is known to say? Technology!

When is a good time to have “the number” talk with your new partner?

I have a question about sex — more specifically number of sexual partners. I recently hit double digits, and I have no problem with this or the choices I have made. As a 25-year-old woman, I don’t think that number is particularly high. I am not ashamed. But I do wonder how/when I should handle it in future dating scenarios? Do you wait till they bring it up or tell them before you add them to your number? Is there an “okay” number of people to have slept with? If yes, what is it, and is it different for men and women?

Try a Vulnerability Day by watching these videos together

Personally, I’m not a roses kind of girl. And right now, our household doesn’t have room for more stuff, nor do I really need chocolate to know I’m loved. But, getting the chance to take a break from the daily routine and sit with my partner as we watch relationship-relavent videos that’s what I need. Here are a few videos that have worked better than roses and chocolate in getting our romance back…

How to tell family you’re childfree

Where are my fellow child-free Homies? Your insight is needed! Offbeat Families reader, Haymaker, has a mom-in-law who is desperate for she and her husband to give her MORE grandkids. But they have NO plans on having children. Like, EVER. Head over to Offbeat Families to help a sister out!

How can I start talking to my partner about opening our relationship?

I’ve been dating my wonderful boyfriend for six years and I love him very much. Over the last year though, I’ve started to change my beliefs on monogamy and have read quite a few books on polyamory (Including Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships). I really feel like it’s a lifestyle I would like to pursue in some form, but including my current boyfriend. I’ve tried to ease into the subject with my boyfriend in the least threatening way I can think of (only relationships with other women, I’ve never mentioned other men), but he gets defensive and shuts the conversation down. How can we talk about this?