How a body painting model helped me love myself again
I assisted my new fella, the creator and editor of a Portland-based magazine, in securing an interview with a body painter. Being the self-conscious person I was, the thought of volunteering myself for this project was brief and fleeting. I figured there was no way my body could look good being painted like that, as it requires the model to be naked. However, over the six hours it took to paint her from start to finish, I started thinking very heavily about what I was seeing and feeling, and my epiphany started taking shape.
Do you even lift, Ladybro? How lifting weights taught me to love my body
I started lifting three months ago, when I hit a wall with my workout routine and was just generally feeling shitty about myself. In that time I’ve gotten a lot stronger but along the way something surprising happened: my relationship with my body totally changed even though my appearance stayed pretty much the same.
Does my “petite woman” stature mean I’ll never be seen an adult?
I am a petite 27-year-old woman. My whole life I have looked younger than my age, and my size has always been a defining characteristic. When do I get to just be a normal adult woman? When I’m married will people start treating me with respect? When I have kids will I no longer be just a little person who miraculously does a lot of things? When will I be given the respect that I feel I deserve as a woman closer to 30 than 20?
Letting food consume you: Being careful how we talk about food
Everyday conversations about food usually involve negative phrases that we don’t even think about using. As a baker, my personal pet peeve is any variation of, “I’m going to have to spend an extra thirty minutes on the treadmill after eating this.” I want you to enjoy my baking, not feel guilty over it. I also don’t want you to make me feel guilty for providing you with baked goods or for choosing not to spend an extra thirty minutes on the treadmill.
Can we talk about birthmarks?
I have a birthmark.
As the name suggests, it’s always been there. This red mark between my lip and my left nostril, a permanent wound needing to be kissed. Apparently, when I was born, my mother thought it was cute. My aunt commented that I would surely hate it.
I don’t, really. I often forget it’s there.
How the Fuck-Off Fairy helped me fight fat-shaming
The Fuck-Off Fairy is a special kind of fairy. She shows up on the night of your 30th birthday, while you are sleeping, and waves a magic wand over you. The Fuck-Off Fairy teaches you to stand up for yourself and believe in your value. She gets that sometimes “fuck off” needs to be said politely and with a smile, but while delivering the message clearly. The Fuck-Off Fairy was sitting on my shoulder during my conversation with a particular personal trainer.
How do you compliment people while staying body-neutral?
I’m working hard to disassociate my happiness and self-esteem from my appearance completely: I don’t want my mood to depend on how I look. The problem is, I really want to be able to affirm my friends and family in the way I want to be affirmed — in ways that recognize their inner awesomeness, and are completely disconnected from how they happen to look like on the outside that day. Usually I’m not stuck for words, but with this I’m stumped. How do you go about affirming people in ways that don’t reference their physical appearance?
My tattoo is beautiful… so why am I regretting it?
Earlier this year, I decided to go ahead with my plans for a half-sleeve tattoo. The tattoo itself is beautiful, and for a very long time I was happy with it, but now I’m feeling some regrets. I don’t want to get rid of it; I want to love it. I want to learn how to accept not only this part of my body, but other parts of myself.