How do I discuss body autonomy regarding children’s haircuts?
I was visiting my brother who is a new step-parent to four children, three of whom are boys. He had decided to give all three of the boys buzz cuts for the summer. The oldest, who is 14, was protesting this and wanted to keep his hair his usual length. My brother, an admittedly more old skool type of guy, insisted on the haircut despite his stepson’s request.
I wanted to say something about body autonomy, but resisted the urge. How do you think I should have handled that situation?
I don’t want to say #metoo, but here’s why I will
“I wish we didn’t have to rip our pasts open & show you everything & let you ogle our pain for you to believe us about predation and trauma.” – Lindy West. The sad fact is, though, that the #metoo phenomenon of sharing seems to be the only way to make any headway in chipping away at the bedrock that allows people with any modicum of power to exploit the vulnerabilities of those who have been raised to be silent and self-blaming. Victims are forced to either take on the system themselves or join together to raise a tiny flag to create larger flag aiming for change.
Consensual robo sex? The evolution of sex scenes in Blade Runner
In Blade Runner 2049, there’s a spacey three-way between humans and replicants that was fascinating and compelling. We could debate the finer points of whether or not replicants can actually consent, but I’m going to instead compare it to its predecessor, the original Blade Runner from 1982. There was one particular scene that still sticks with me as highly controversial…
When it’s necessary to overrule a child’s “no touching” requests
I am a pediatric nurse, and I was just worrying the other day about the message I was sending to a four-year-old girl during a treatment. She very clearly said “no,” but of course it was necessary for us to treat her (nasal suctioning — totally not fun!).
I would love to hear more suggestions from parents about what works when it is necessary to overrule a child’s wishes about their bodies.
How to stay positive through a scary diagnosis
It’s so easy to slip into a cycle of hating your body when it’s not working properly. It’s easy to feel bitter, alone, resentful and just all-around negative and depressed when your body is unhealthy in ways beyond your control, and all of those feelings are completely valid. I’ve chosen to stay positive and live my life in spite of my diseases, which is totally more easily said than done. Here’s how I do it…
How to respond to teens who think their bodies are “gross”
I am a nurse educator for a non-profit that provides free childbirth education classes and case management for pregnant teenagers and their partners. My classes are almost always riddled with at least one or two teens (moms or dads) who think that any/all body parts are super “gross.”
This is how I’m teaching teens about bodies…
I will not teach my daughter how to avoid being raped
I cannot teach her this lesson for a simple reason — my daughter cannot avoid being raped, because being raped is not something the victim holds any control over. To teach her that she can avoid being raped, makes a fraction of the responsibility of being raped owned by her. My daughter owns none of this risk. Instead, will teach her this…
5 tips for talking to young children about sex, body exploration, and avoiding shame
The A-Z explanation of human sexuality is far too much for young children to grasp and would certainly be overwhelming, but I wholly believe that it is empowering for kids to know about their bodies — real, accurate information delivered in small doses adding layer upon layer of detail as their questions prompt further answers. I think this is one of our most important jobs as parents. It falls to us to be our children’s most reliable, honest source of information because if those answers don’t come from us, they will come from somewhere else and you can be sure that other sources will serve them up in ways that will anger/upset/terrify you.