I am a petite 27-year-old woman. My whole life I have looked younger than my age, and my size has always been a defining characteristic. When do I get to just be a normal adult woman? When I’m married will people start treating me with respect? When I have kids will I no longer be just a little person who miraculously does a lot of things? When will I be given the respect that I feel I deserve as a woman closer to 30 than 20?
I keep in touch with my best friend Erica via Gchat. When big things happen — breakups, an upcoming interview, travel — we absolutely talk about them, but the continuous all-day connection allowed by Gchat means we started sharing more mundane things as well. We both like to dig in our heels about these things — a lot of adult tasks are boring, and feel difficult, or involve talking to strangers on the phone, and there just never seems to be an end to them. But having a friend to complain to, cheer on, and report back to with successes really helps us put these things in perspective and get them done.
After we sign the paperwork, where do we go from here? Do we drift apart as adults and friends usually do or stay involved in each other’s lives? Can we ever get past “what might have been” and move on to “this is where/who we are now”?
I was thinking about this all last night because I’d just signed up for dental and life insurance through my work, and that sort of thing feels really grown-up. Responsibility! Future planning! Insurance! But it also cast into sharp relief the fact that I really don’t know what I’m doing and I’m scared as hell. How do Other People do it?
I got into a huge conversation recently with an old friend of mine. He’s in his mid-30s, self-employed, and works from his home in the burbs. He recently broke up with his girlfriend, and is newly single and realizing he just doesn’t have the group of friends that he did in his 20s. I’ve had the same conversation with other friends in their late 20s and 30s (and 40s)… how the fuck do you make friends as a grown up?
Attention young Offbeat Homies: At some point, you will cease to live with your parents or in a dorm room, and will very likely live in a cheap apartment, quite possibly with roommates. I hit this particular milestone my Junior year of college, and here’s what it taught me…
Loads of us are shacking up with in-laws to save money, but it’s not always easy to feel good about being in the ‘rents house. Luckily, Offbeat Bride’s Community Manager Ang has a WEALTH of ideas on bringing your style to a prohibitive cohabitation situation.