Learning to be loved by my mother-in-law
My husband and I have been married for a couple of years now and we recently decided to “take the plunge” into the waters of living with his mom, my mother-in-law. When I instantly found myself uncomfortable and lost in this new living space, I was surprised and confused by my feelings. I was embarrassingly confused and mad at myself for acting unintentionally cold to her — unable to find the words to explain to my husband as to why I was feeling this way, because I didn’t even understand myself.
Conservative family vs. liberal partner: How do you make it work?
It’s 2015, so a liberal Filipino woman dating a white conservative man isn’t so unusual. And our relationship is amazing. Except… while my family has welcomed the man I love with open arms, his family keeps their arms shut. Normally I wouldn’t be too concerned with whether or not people like me. But it’s different when you’re talking about the parents of the man you’re dating.
How do I tell my parents about my sterilization?
I don’t want to go into surgery, even day surgery, without telling my parents. But at the same time I don’t want to hurt them or have them try to change my mind. How do I tell my parents that I’m getting a tubal ligation? Anyone else have to go through something like this?
Help! My parents want to move near me. What do I do?
How do I tell my parents that having them live that close is stepping on my opportunities for growth and freedom as an adult? What is the best way to explain that living near my parents has to be as much my choice as theirs?
Should I go to religious services just to make people happy?
I’ve been going to religious services, like Christmas Eve, with my parents in order to make them happy. But at this point I feel as if there is a lack of mutual respect for my beliefs, so I have no desire to go. Do I stick to my guns, or do I go to religious services with my family on holidays?
De-stressing the holidays: Ditching traffic, fake smiles, and our parents
I love the holidays. I love the food, the family, and the general festive atmosphere. I hate the stress though. Add to this that my career choice primarily involves dealing with difficult people and that the holiday season is THE busiest time of year for those kinds of jobs (read: retail and waiting tables), the stress of the holidays is almost more than I can handle. Then I started thinking about what the holidays meant when I was growing up…
Friends are the family we get to choose for ourselves
There are a couple of clichés that get that way because they’re so damn true. Some that have been true for our family of two is that friends are the gods’ apology for families, friends are the family we choose for ourselves, and friends walk in when everyone else walks out. My patchwork quilt of family is mostly made of beautiful friendships, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Dealing with difficult in-laws the grown-up way
What are you supposed to do when you can’t stand your in-laws? I needed to learn techniques to help me deal with mine in a kind and considerate manner, without exploding with internalized stress. For me, the following things have helped…