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Greetings from relationship purgatory!My super awesome boyfriend and I have been dating for about five years now, living together for about a year. Lately our relationship has felt healthier, happier and stronger than ever, which is awesome.
The not-so-awesome part is that, being in our mid-to-late twenties we (admittedly mostly myself because I’m the giiirrrrl) have been getting a lot of pressure about when/if we are going to get married!
We are planning on getting hitched… eventually. But, we just don’t feel that getting married is a priority right now.
Lately every time we see family or friends though the conversation always comes around to, “So, when’s the wedding?” Our answers never seem to satisfy anyone, and it’s a bummer to feel like those closest to us no longer feel like our relationship is “enough,” even though we are really happy.
So, Homies, does anyone have a really good script or advice for dealing with family and friends who want to pressure you about your relationship status?
Husband and I dated for 10 years before getting engaged. When we were asked we found it effective to put on a really serious look and answer “You know, we just don’t want to rush into anything. We would hate to make a hasty decision, and not taking more time before hand. Besides if we rushed into this, people would talk.” The key was a deadpan delivery.
My husband and I did not get married until nearly 8 years into our relationship and had been living together nearly 7. I totally get the whole “not a priority” thing about getting married. After all, we were doing other things like finishing school and buying a house.
That being said, however… Once we got married I honestly wondered why we hadn’t already before: getting married was EASY. I don’t know what all the hype was about from family members constantly hounding us about it–it’s really easy, easier than getting a drivers license. It would have made things a lot less complicated, too, especially during times where one of us was laid off–or even minute details like not being able to be added as a second driver when renting a car (unless we wanted to pay double).
Anyway, this might not be helpful–but is it possible people are asking you because they can’t understand why you wouldn’t have gotten married? Hindsight is 20/20.