Posted by
My husband and I just started our first year of college together (he’s 25 and I’m 22). We just got married, but our problem is that we both want a baby, but aren’t sure if its such a good idea. He’s in a music recording program and I’m taking a Graphic Design program.Could I maybe get some advice on this matter from other mummies who have given birth while in college? My mother did it 22 years ago… but that was 22 years ago. — Emerald
Did you have a child while you were a young student? What were the challenges? What was awesome about it?
I’ve been wondering this as well with respect to graduate school. My BF and I really want to have a child but we have no idea what it will be like while I’m still in school (for the next 5 years, I might add).
Are you in a PhD program? I’m in the same boat, with the bonus of being mid-30s by the time I’ll finish. Conventional wisdom is that dissertation-writing is a good time to have a kid but I’d love to hear people’s stories about it.
I have a toddler and a 5 month old and I will be defending my dissertation in August. I got pregnant the first time when I had one chapter done. We decided to start having children mainly because my bio clock was TICKING and we both felt we were ready. (I am now thirty five). I have a full time university teaching position, as well, which means the kids are in daycare three days a week and I work on my dissertation every Sunday for three hours at a local coffee shop. And during those three hours, I work like a maniac. I am a great mother and I love being a mother, but in every other aspect of my life I am a total short-tempered bitch. It is very difficult, though absolutely worth it. However, considering the job market, if I didn’t already have my position, I probably would not have finished.
My bestfriend’s husband is finishing up his dissertation. They have a one year old, and she said that for the last few months she’s basically been a single mom 🙁
Yeah, I’m just starting a PhD program. If me and BF’s timeline works out, we won’t be having kids until I’m done with coursework in two years or so. I have heard that this is a good time to have kids, but in my field (philosophy) where there’s a small number of women anyway most wait until after tenure. I’m young now, but BF is older than me and I think his biological clock is ticking louder than mine sometimes!
I waited until tenure, but I think that was only possible because I started grad school right out of undergrad and started my job at 29. So, I had a baby at 34, which was the year I got tenure. It all worked out, but wow has conceiving child number two been a long-lasting venture. So, it is good to think about how many children you think you want. Pushing back the first one age-wise always means pushing back subsequent children, too.
I have a lot of friends who had babies while doing the dissertation, and I think it makes a lot of sense. It isn’t a big deal if it takes a little longer to do the diss, whereas once the tenure clock is ticking, it is much much tougher.
I think of the three options — baby during diss, baby during tenure track, and baby post tenure — options one and three are the easiest. Option two is hardest.
Ultimately it depends on so many factors — your relationship, your income, your age, etc.
I recommend the book _Mama PhD_. Lots of first person essays by women who took a range of different paths.
By which author is that book?
I am totally asking myself these questions. Right now finishing my MSc degree and considering a PhD (which will take 4 years and will be paid like a job in Europe).
No way I can wait for tenure. Absolute best case, I’d finish at 32 and get tenure at 38. And given the job market, I’m not holding my breath on that one.
My guess is I’ll try for a baby while dissertating. Scary, since that’s, uh, next year. But… I have 3 more years of fellowship funding, so I’ll never have more free time.
Thanks for the book link. I put it on my Christmas list :).
I’m writing my philosophy dissertation right now and am 8 months pregnant. Be sure to check what kind of health insurance you have since they kind the offer to grad students usually sucks. So far I think this is the right decision for me and the program has been very supportive. I don’t think it will change the amount of time it takes me to finish my dissertation, but I know I’ll have to work extra hard when I get back from maternity leave to wrap everything up. Waiting until tenure was just too long for me, and I’m about the youngest you can possibly be while in the middle of a PhD program (26 years old).
Oh my gosh, it’s so great to hear from someone who is in the same position as me and succeeding. I’m 22 now, in the first year of my program, so I’m also just about as young as you can possibly be. The climate is good in my department, but we’ve never had that many female grad students and I think if I do have a baby while in the program I’ll be the first female to do so (many of the men have babies, and the department’s supportive of them, so…). So, there’s just a bit of nervousness around being “the first.”
NH — I say go for it! If you have fellowship funding, you are totally right. You will never have more free time. And you are right that market sucks. If you really want to have a baby, you should have a baby now and not try waiting.
hannah1cestmoi, this is the book: http://www.amazon.com/Mama-PhD-Women-Motherhood-Academic/dp/0813543185/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1320871857&sr=8-1
Stephanie, a friend of mine had a baby at 25 — 3 years of coursework then baby and then another baby during the diss. She was the first woman in her department to do so. It all worked out for her. It was nice for her to start a t-t job and be done with the tiny baby stage!
I think that it depends on what subject you are getting your graduate degree in. If you are in the scientific field, like I am, and have to spend about 60-80 hours in a lab working like a maniac and crossing your fingers that your experiments work, then you may want to wait until you’re writing your dissertation (or at least a paper for a journal).
As the wife of a physics PhD student, we are waiting until he starts his thesis writing (and is no longer doing 60-70 hours/week in the lab/machine shop) so that I’m not going to be a virtual single mom. Right now we see each other 2 hours/day, right before bed time, and during the day only on Shabbat.
I’ve had rocky employment since I graduated from college 4 years ago, so having a baby sounded like a good way for me to feel useful and productive… Then we crunched the numbers and realized that on his stipend, once I became preggo, we would qualify for all sorts of subsidies (WIC, SNAP, etc.). That seemed unfair to us, to take money that we didn’t really need before just because we put ourselves into a tough situation.
So we’re waiting until he starts his thesis to start actually trying to make a baby because then he’ll hopefully defend and get a post doc position before any babies are born.
I’ll answer this from the professor side of the situation. I hope that is OK — and no, I am not knee jerk discouraging you!
Some of my very best students are parents. They manage time better and they are very invested in their education and take it seriously in a way that many students do not. Some of these students are just amazing and an inspiration to us all.
However, I think there are also certain challenges not there for students who do not have children — chiefly what to do when your child is sick and can’t go to child care and also what kind of child care to arrange. If you live near family who can help with the baby, it is a big help. If not, you might have to find funds for some kind of child care, or else go to school part-time to trade off child care with your partner.
I do think it is possible for you both to study full time with opposing schedules and trade off the baby, but it is hard to do so especially because you need time to study and write papers and do projects and also possibly work to diminish student loans.
I’d say about half of my students in this situation (quite a number as I teach at a public university with a lot of commuter students) thrive and half struggle enormously. It can go either way.
I think the fact that you are really thinking through the possible implications and have sent out this query is a good sign of your maturity as you approach this decision! That should bode well for your success if you do decide to go for it!
I think the workload would be manageable, but one of the big things to consider is that college isn’t just about the academic workload. Networking and building university relationships augment the actual classes you’re taking and, I would argue, are equally as (if not MORE) important from a career perspective. It’s great to get an A in a class but I’d say it was just as valuable for your post-college life to get a B+ but establish a real connection with the professor, and that can be hard to do when you don’t have a lot of flexible time. Having a newborn will require you to tightly schedule yourself and you would have to miss out on spontaneous opportunities to build career-enhancing relationships. So, can you manage the workload? Most definitely. But you might also shortchange your education in less-tangible ways.
My husband and I made the decision to wait on having a baby until we had met certain goals. We currently have 2 roommates, 1 car with no A/C, and no extra space. We want to get a 2nd car (and fix up the first one, of course) we also want to either buy and be settled into our own home or be stable in a rented home (without roommates) It’s possible, of course, but it’s going to be so much more difficult. You both are really young and obviously trying to better yourselves, your lives, and your future. It’s simply my opinion but I think having a baby would be much more joyful once you’re established in your chosen career(s). Are you both somewhat financially stable? Are you both working full time? Have a stable place to live? If you feel like you can handle it of course go for it but definitely think it through. I’ve had the baby fever for going on 2 years now and it’s some times really easy for me to justify having a baby no matter what just because I want one. My mother worked full time and went to school full time while my sister and I were both under the age of 3. It’s possible but much harder.
For me, it was almost impossible. My studies and relationships were both affected by having a child mid college. My response is to wait, spoil yourself with an education and then have a baby.
When my first daughter was a baby both my husband and I were in school and I was working part time as well. It was great. They key was knowing whose schedule took priority, and a flexible job for me. Because my husband’s program was shorter we prioritized his schedule, which meant I worked and took classes around his requirements. My program was more flexible as well – a master’s with classes only once a week. Now that our second daughter is here my husband is out of school and working and actually it’s much harder! One baby and two parents still leaves time for studying and paper writing in the evenings. Even if baby is fussy it only occupies one person.
I say it is definitely doable, although it has many, many challenges. We got pregnant last August and I was just about to start my final year of University. I had to drop 2 classes in the fall semester because I was soooo SICK. It ended up postponing my grad. Then I was on bedrest my entire third trimester making finishing that semester next to impossible. Thankfully I had some very understanding professors.
So make sure you think about the pregnancy as well. What if it doesn’t go as planned and you are so sick you can’t function, or are stuck in bed? It’s a lot of money to drop classes and postpones graduation.
Well I had my baby in May and she spent some time in the NICU. Had she been born just before a semester started I would have had to drop all my classes. She is now a vibrant and healthy 6 month old but this fall semester has definitely been a challenge.
I say, as long as you have a family member close by who can watch your baby while you and your hubby are in class it’s totally doable. If I didn’t have my mother-in-law to watch my daughter I don’t know if I could go to school. Time management is an issue (esp. if they STOP napping!!!) but you do what you need to do. You may end up more sleep deprived than other moms and students but if you really want a baby I say go for it.
I don’t regret it for a second. Despite the challenges.
I did it. It is difficult, I’m not gonna lie. It was easiest when he was around 2-5 months, as I could just work on school during one of his many naps. At 15 months, I am barely hanging on in school. I barely have study time because I am chasing my toddler around all the time! I have one more semester, and I cannot wait until it’s over.
I did it. Though my situation was different from yours in that I was 18, and a single mom. First thing you need to consider is child care. My college has ‘daycare’ in the various child psychology/rearing/early education section and you paid about 350 a month (and this is in 1994 AND had to take an early childhood education course – basically helping take care of your child’s class room for a few hours a week. The care they get at the college was superb. I had no one give me ANY flack about cloth diapers or breast milk. (again 17 years ago) However, it IS expensive. So you really really need to think about who you are going to trust to watch your child. Later, after college, I ended up trusting another professional daycare and my daughter was molested and cut. So I’m pretty wary of care that isn’t people I trust now.
2nd thing you need to think of is study time. I was lucky in that I took 2 core classes and 2 art classes, so I only needed to worry about studying and homework in 2 classes. But nights when Morgan was teething, sick, or generally cranky left me with no way to study. You’re going to have backup, but what if you both have an important test the next day?
Also. I met a lot of really cool people in college. People I wish I could have pursued a friendship with, but because of my status as a parent, it made it a lot harder to just go swimming after school, or camping on the weekend.
So to sum up, money, daycare, studying and friends. It CAN be done. Sometimes it’s really easy (I had an exceptionally good first child) other times, you could have a child who gets sick alot, or really hates growing those first few teeth and screams all the time. So you can plan ahead to some extent. But not completely. Bottom line is, if you want a child badly enough, it will all be worth it. However, If one or the other of you wants the child and the other wants to wait, it could very well ruin your marriage with the amount of work and stress a child and college will bring in.
I met a super close friend of mine on my degree course. She was pregnant when she started the term and ended up having to resit her first year after she gave birth. Whilst she came out of it with good grades and did very well she will be the first to tell you that its HARD. Really hard. Not only did she feel like she had no spare time to study but she also felt that she never got to spend any time with her daughter as she had to be placed in full time childcare and I know she felt immensely guilty about that.
I would think long and hard about it and if you decide to go for it well then thats great, but you will have no idea of how challenging it is until it happens.
Sorry, I know this post sounds super negative, but that is the only experience I have to go off.
This is NOT negative….it is very true. When your a parent the child comes first every time no matter what. No matter how important studying is or the test you have to take the next day or networking is…your child will take up every moment of your time. What if you have to stay up all night with a teething/colicy child? how will you study and actually absorb the material when you are rocking a screaming child all night and not getting any sleep? How will that reflect on your grades? and its Not just your one on one time takes alot of time but also mentally and emotionally when your baby isnt with you. Thats where the guilt comes in. And the worry. because to be completely honest guilt is a very common emotion when it comes to parenting it seems. Please really consider everything.
PS Babies do not stay Newborns for long…they grow into little people. Newborns may sleep alot during the day but they are up alot during the night and then they turn into toddlers and boy you are running then!
I’m in my third year and now I’m starting to have a really hard time. It was easier when my son was younger and wasn’t as active. He’ll be three in a few months and wants ALL my attention. To top it off, he’s been up during the night a lot with colds.
Now I’m attempting higher level work with a toddler that isn’t letting me get the rest I need so that I have the brainpower to do it. I’m exhausted and ready to quit.
I think the anonymous professor above said it best: it could go either way. It depends on your home situation (I’m the sole in-residence parent), your child and your academic program.
I went back to finish University when my son was one month old. It was hard, but I did get through it (and pretty well, I should add). I had two classes, labs and was writing my senior thesis. I look back and wonder how I/we managed. I think I was just on auto-pilot.
I think, know, that is CAN be done. It is hard and I was TIRED. I am happy that I did it, but after having the “other” experience of staying at home when my second son was born, I realized how exhausting it really was being in school and having a new born. Good luck with your decision.
I went back to college with a six month old. I attempted to go to school while pregnant, but being a waitress AND going to school and suffering morning sickness 24/7 for seven and a half months led to me dropping out for the duration of my pregnancy.
Honestly, my husband and I were able to work it quite easily because we had a HUGE support system behind us. I literally had 100 relatives within a 30 mile radius. We never paid for a sitter. If I needed to get stuff done and my husband had to work, M went to one of her grandmas’ houses.
It honestly wasn’t much more of a challenge than going without the munchkin. I found myself highly motivated. But, like I said, HUGE support system. Also, my child was about the most perfect child ever. And I don’t think I’m bragging. She never cried. She slept through the night at 3 weeks. She started sleeping 10 hours a night at around 4 months. She wasn’t one to get into things either once she got up and around. She was an easy baby (and is an easy kid at the moment).
I actually made the Dean’s list my first 3 quarters back in college (whereas before the kiddo I struggled to keep a 2.0) – so she was a huge motivator for me.
I think it depends on your support system. Do you have friends or family that are willing to let you drop by with no notice because you just NEED some alone time to write that paper or finish that project?
It all comes down to you, your situation. You have to honestly look at where you are – check with those people that you depend on for support, ask them what they think about you having a little one. Outline your concerns and see if you can enlist some help with those concerns.
I am not a mom, nor planning to be any time soon, but I am a very stressed out college student!
The biggest thing would be the degrees you’re going into. There is so much that varies from degree to degree including overall workload, rigidity of schedule, difficulty of material (is it difficult because they’re difficult concepts or is it difficult because of the time required), time required outside of class, etc.
Something that, as an engineering student, I’ve run into multiple times is that the computer programs I need are only available for really expensive or in the labs. My guess is that would be the case with graphic design as well.
Also, will you be working? How much? I’m currently taking 16 credit hours and working 15 hours a week. This puts me up to about 63 hours of work a week. Add in sleeping time (56 hours – if I’m really lucky!), keeping up the house/getting groceries (~7 hours), time to eat (~10 hours) and I’ve got a total of 4.5 hours per day when I don’t have something scheduled (note that this includes weekends). It’s brutal and I’m getting sick because I don’t have enough time.
Finally, think about how you managed to work while in high school. Did you put things off? Would you do other things before your homework? While some people drastically change their study ethic from high school to college, it doesn’t happen often.
It can be done though, you just should really try to make an example schedule to see if you think you could manage to do everything.
Hahahaha….sorry but it really is funny to complain about only 4.5 hours of free time a day. This is EXACTLY why it’s probably smart to wait awhile to have babies. Your perspective on time completely changes when you have a baby and are grateful for thirty seconds to yourself to use the bathroom alone. I thought I was stressed and busy in college as well and I look back now and it was the most liberating time of my life! I think most of us can have it all but not just always at the same time. My two cents is that to get everything out of college you can get out of it academically, socially, and professionally (I agree with the person who said networking is critical), it’s better to not also be a parent and to get everything out of being a new parent, it’s better to not also be a college student. If you have a choice, why potentially cheat yourself out of a full experience of both?
I don’t know… That 4.5 hours is the only time I don’t have to think (although I don’t really have to think with groceries and stuff like that). I don’t even get a reprieve with work because I’m a tutor!
I’d also encourage you to calculate how much time you do have that’s not really scheduled, I think you’d be surprised how much it is. (I was when I calculated it out – it seems like I have no time at all!) It also kind of makes you feel like you’re somehow missing out on all those hours!
But, those hours includes travel time, (an hour total to walk to and from school), band, and whatever else comes up. While thinking is needed to be a mother, it’s not the same as trying to figure out why in the heck the natural frequencies of the beam are all out of whack, or why the heck your MATLAB code is giving ridiculous accelerations, or trying to get your ‘tutoree’ to understand internal forces of members.
That’s something that Emerald should consider – the mental toll of school. Once again, depending on what sort of difficult (mentally taxing due to amount of work, or mentally taxing due to really hard concepts) and what sort of person you are, it could be a huge problem or not much of one at all.
I don’t know about this. While your conception of time may change when you have a baby, the experience of time as a student is completely different than that of a non-student. I am both a student AND a mother. I have about 4 to 5 hours a day of non-scheduled time, but, like the woman who posted the above comment, that doesn’t mean it’s just “free time.” I have to get everything I need to do done in those hours – that includes homework, teaching stuff, housework, childcare, etc. That’s not a lot of time. Really. I had way, WAY more time for myself and my kid when I was working full time.
I am working on my PhD and my husband on his second BA, so it is a little different. We are managing, but priorities are tough. Sacrifices will be large. You will have very little money (or very little time with your family).
One thing to ask yourself is what you want out of it. If you are thinking of advancing where you already work, go for it. If you are looking for some semblance of the college experience, you are going to be a bit ostracized. I have parents in the classes I teach who are intelligent, resourceful and successful, but they are just in another stage of life and don’t connect socially.
I look back on my own admittedly selfish four years of college and was so happy I got to enjoy it even in it’s least mature moments. As a parent, you will have no time for immaturity and few people will be sympathetic to your condition. I would wait until I was done.
Like everyone else has said, a lot will depend on your situation (financial, family), and also how your pregnancy goes. I’m pregnant now and honestly I’ve been blindsided by how much it’s cramped my ability to get stuff done. I’m constantly exhausted. Other people are totally fine, but unfortunately you don’t get to find out if you’re one of the “lucky” ones until too late.
For your particular field, graphic design, networking is critically important. I’m in New York and the demand for graphic designers is insane right now, but everyone wants a designer who has already been vetted by someone else, i.e. they want recommendations from people they know. Additionally, entry-level graphic design jobs tend to be grueling. A friend of mine was really excited that the famous firm he started working at had free beer in the fridge. Then he found out it was because he was pretty much never going to leave the office again.
With enough determination you can make anything work, including having a baby in college, but you’ve got your whole life ahead of you to get it done. There’s no pressure to do it all at once!
Bravo to you for seeking advice before making any big decisions! Maybe you should see how the first year or two goes without a baby. I think you’ll find there’s plenty to keep your mind and body busy without a baby. Since you two are choosing creative fields, networking or just finding people you work well with will be just about as important as coursework. That’s just my experience.
I was 22 when I got pregnant with my son, and also in my third year of University. You are writing for advice, so that is what I will offer:
Wait.
My son is the love of my life, and the most wonderful and beautiful person I have ever known. I took a year off after having him before heading back to school, and I have no regrets.
That being said, I had complications during my pregnancy which were entirely unforeseen, especially since I am otherwise so healthy. It impacted my school work, and it took an emotional toll as well. Following my son’s birth, I have had an enormous amount of support from my husband, my family, and all of my friends. Even with that support there have been times when both my husband and I have become discouraged and overwhelmed– not with the task of raising a child, but with the financial and time constraints that come with having a baby, and juggling work with a full school course load.
It is worth noting that my husband is also in school full-time. My son attends daycare part-time during the week, and daddy and I trade off whenever we can so that daycare hours are as infrequent as possible. But it is expensive (to the tune of $672/m just for pt care!), and it really impacts the amount of time we can work to make an income.
You are so young. My advice is to finish school first. If you find that you can’t, then I at least reccommend taking a year off together as parents… a year to bond with your baby, for daddy to work and still have time to spend at home, for baby to learn to socialize and interact before going to a daycare environment, and to find your groove as parents. But I am not you. YOU need to make a choice that is right for your family, taking all things into consideration and making sure daddy is on board. And whatever you decide, I’m sure your little one will be super lucky… whenever they happen to arrive.
When my husband and I decided to try for a baby, I was in the middle of a three year program. While at the time the plan was that i continue part time with school, I quickly realized it just wasn’t going to work. Most importantly, I wasn’t willing to lose the time with my little guy, handing him over to someone else so that I could go to class and practicum, even if it was another family member. I breastfeed exclusively… my son is a constant eater, especially through growth spurts.I couldn’t leave for class with the worry that he might get hungry while I was gone, and even with pumping it would take me a long time to pump enough. My kid eats A LOT (he’s a bit of a fatty). I like to give school my all, and I realized that I would not be happy spending time on school instead of with my baby. I guess you could say we’re pretty attached. So, I’ve taken a year off. That being said, a lot of people make it work. If you decide to breastfeed, take that into consideration: you are the only one able to feed your baby, unless you are able to pump enough and your child will take a bottle.
I had no problem being pregnant in school… actually there were two other people pregnant in my program at the same time as me. I’m also in a teaching program so everyone around me was totally into kids haha and understood (I once got super emotional in class and started to ball my eyes out right before a big presentation… I also got severely pinched nerves and wore arm braces, so I sometimes needed help from other students, etc)
honestly?
It’s the most miserable thing I’ve done in ages, and I’m in school half time. My husband helps with the baby and then I miss out on family time, or I do studies after baby goes to bed and I miss out on sleep.
I understand many people get childcare, but I’m just not comfortable with it. My baby SCREAMS the entire time I’m gone, and we’ve tried many times under a variety of circumstances.
I often feel tired, grouchy, like I’m doing too much and not getting enough done. Like I’m not giving enough to my daughter.
After this semester I’m putting school on an indefinite hold. I’m a bit sad about it, but I’d rather go back full time when baby is bigger.
All that said, I’m thrilled I had my baby when I did, and I wouldn’t change a thing.
As if to illustrate my point, this note has been cut short by my daughter’s out and out tantrum that she could not stack the stacking cups just so..
IT IS HARD. It’s fucking hard. Did I mention that it is hard?…
I found out I was pregnant in January, the last semester of my Junior year. I was full time that semester and the semester following, during which I had him, right around midterms. It has been just over a year since then and I have been 3/4 time the semesters since then. I also work part time and his dad works night shift on weekends. It is doable, but I honestly would not recommend it. You will want to quit school and stay home with the baby more. Either work your ass of to finish school faster than normal, or wait to have a kid. That’s my advice.
I have loved being a student/mom. As the professor stated, I feel like my time management and motivation skyrocketed. Also, my graduation aligns with my kids starting school, so there is less “When do I take a break from/start my career” timing to deal with. School also ensured that I got out and did things I was interested in during my kids’ infancies, where I might have had a hard time doing so if it weren’t for a schedule saying YOU MUST GO TO SCHOOL. It has been tough here and there, but overall, I think school and parenthood have been better to me combined than they would have been separately.
This has been my experience as well! I was glad to see your positive comment here and know someone else felt the experience of studying and parenthood enriched each other.
As hard as it is, I agree with you that the two complement each other. Time management becomes a survival skill when you have a baby. Also- it’s less tempting to skip class when you know you’re not going to get a break if you stay home either!
Hello. I am a single mom of a one year old boy and I am 23, going to school and working. It is hard, long nights and I have a year and a half left of getting a degree in Education.
It will be hard, you will need time managment skills (even though I dont have any so I am not sure how I am doing this), and a big wanting to do both at the same time.
Im hoping it is rewarding in the end as I am sure it will.
YOU CAN DO IT!
Having children at any time presents pros and cons…
The pros are obvious: children are incredible and provide joy that is unparalleled.
Cons:
1) You can expect many people to have a kind, “you did this to yourself” attitude. So they may not as understanding as many of us would hope.
2) Fellow students are more understanding of fathers as students than mothers.
3) It is best to inform professors upfront. They like to have this information. (Especially since you are just about guaranteed to miss a class or two.)
I am a PhD student and it is not an easy challenge. Do yourself a favor, give yourself one day or half a day a week with the kiddo at daycare to do homework. It will do wonders for your sanity.
Last little note, beware the postpardum. School can help you to focus on something else if you are blue but please be patient with yourself. It can be a lot.
It depends on the people and on your “village”. If you do not have the means to pay for child care while in classes and all that it involves and no family or close friends around, it is really, REALLY hard. I found out I was pregnant at the start of a semester. The actual having the baby and adjusting takes time. I went back after, and just couldn’t find reliable child care that treated my daughter the way I as a mother would have hoped they would. I am waiting until my now two girls are in school to finish… and I am okay with that because I LOVE my girls and wouldn’t trade it for anything.