Posted by
My partner and I are 18 days away from beginning to try to conceive — as happy as I am, I’m also scared out of my mind. I’m not worried about raising a child, but I’m worried about how my first daughter will react to my pregnancy after I placed her into adoption.I know that placing my daughter in adoption was the best decision for both of us and I’m fortunate that I have an extremely open relationship with her adoptive parents… and I know I’m not trying to replace her with this baby. I’m just worried that she’ll see my future pregnancy as a rejection of her.
Parents who have children in open adoptions: how did you explain future pregnancies and children that you didn’t place to the children that you did? – Amalaa
I’m an adoptee (closed) a d know my biological mother has other kids that she kept after me. I’ve always seen it as she was very young and her circumstances were very different — she did what age thought was best for me.
I guess I’m in the minority here, but I was adopted (closed) and I never felt any resentment or hurt toward my birth parents or siblings, and I definitely never felt abandoned or that my life would’ve been better with my birth family (to be honest, I actively KNEW that my life would’ve been worse if I hadn’t been put up for adoption. My parents didn’t tell me that, but I was a smart kid. I could read between the lines.) I grew up knowing I was adopted and I knew that I was put up for adoption because I was the 6th of 6 girls (and I’m pretty sure I was an “oops” baby, as my understanding is that my oldest biological sibling is about 25 years older than me).
I actually also never had any burning desire to seek out my biological family. My parents are my parents, and to me, that’s that. I do really appreciate that my birth parents gave me up for adoption so I could have the great and privileged life that my real parents gave to me. Honestly, other than that, I don’t think about it much. It basically only comes up when new doctors want a medical history. I’m sure there are differences with an open adoption, but not all adopted kids go through the same stereotypical feelings.
(I will say though that I did have a really fantastic childhood with amazing parents. I am sure there are HUGE differences when you are an adoptee and you have serious conflict with your adopted parents/siblings.)