Towels: do you need one? Photo by Kevin Steinhardt, used under Creative Commons license. I’ve been wondering how other families feel about nudity at home. My husband and I are in the practice of walking around the house in various states of undress, and it’s never been a big deal.
However, our child is now a year old and we’ve been wondering when we’re “supposed” to cover up… or if we even need to. I’d love to hear how other folks have handled this: what did you say to your kids about nudity? — Doxie
How have you explained non-sexual nudity to your child? Does your kid ever see you naked?
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Comments on How does your family handle non-sexual nudity?
I grew up thinking that my parents were naked more often than other people’s parents, but I guess I wouldn’t have any way of knowing how other people’s parents were without any neighbors or friends around! My dad covered up before I really started remembering, but my mom went topless or bottomless around the house after showers or while getting dressed. That was normal and fine — although I think we were both startled the time I brought a friend home from school and Mom was ironing the pants she was going to wear!
I’ve always been more modest about nudity and bathroom privacy. A certain frankness about dressing/undressing was necessary backstage or in locker rooms, but I adopted a general behavior of just not looking. And I always close the bathroom door when I’m using the toilet (or using the shower, ’cause I have Hitchcockian paranoia about people sneaking up on me). I do think that I would have had a better appreciation for my own body if I had seen more examples of how everyday people look without their clothes — not just what’s represented in media/entertainment.
i don’t remember ever seeing my family naked (except for one barging-into-the bathroom incident), but seeing my mom in her underwear at the ironing board (or digging through the dryer) was a daily occurrence!
otherwise, though, my “parenting” experience is all with other folks’ kids, so i am pretty vigilant about clothing – my clothing, at least. i figure they can wear (or not) whatever they’re comfortable with around the house. although, i don’t see that changing if they were my own – i’m fairly private about my body. also, i feel like giving birth and breastfeeding (which i will not be doing) provide a sort of obvious amount of non-sexual nudity to a parent/child relationship out of necessity…i feel like without that it would be more of a conscious choice (a legit one, but probably not what i’d do).
My mom and her family were always pretty open with nudity. Her family even spent time at a nudist family resort periodically when she was a child. I don’t feel like nudity is a big deal.
Our son is 2, and we haven’t put any restrictions in place yet. We have been practicing elimination communication since we was 6 weeks old, so he sees us in the bathroom all the time. He knows “penis” and “gina” and will point to mine. He cries if I close the bathroom door, so he’s seen me insert my menstrual cup and take it out. He sees me put on pantyliners and we say they are like little diapers for mommy. We encourage him to watch daddy pee because we hope he’ll transition to standing while peeing soon. He takes a bath while one of us takes a shower because we are usually never home at the same time (I work days, daddy works nights) and it’s the only way we can keep clean. We let him be naked when he wants to, especially since he gets eczema in his diaper area if he has an accident. He sleeps with us, but I’ve always worn pajamas even before having a kid.
The “little diapers for mommy” thing reminded me of the first time my two year old saw me on the toilet while I had a pad in my underwear. She pointed to it and said in a very uncertain voice, “Mama poopoo?”
Apparently I once asked my mom what it was and she told me it was to protect her panties. Later she found me in the sandbox packing sand into the crotch of my underwear in order to emulate her. Silly children.
My 7y/o twin stepsons grew up w/o a mom til they were 5 (enter: me) So they had no idea what a woman’s body looked like. I’m very comfortable being naked, but they’re very…interested. They peep through the shower curtain and the crack in the door to see my undress. Then they run back to their room and giggle about it. THAT makes me uncomfortable. So i try to stay modest with them around.
on the other hand, I breastfeed very openly. So much so that they made their friends at school breastfeed their babies when they were playing “house”. We had to have a talk about that one. lol
My brothers (who are 17) have PODOs all the time (Pants Off Dance Off) So now my twins think its a blast and strip down as soon as theyre home. I think its fine.
My mom constantly walked around me naked, even after I was “aware” of her being naked. It got a little awkward for me once I was a teenager, but it wasn’t as though she was parading around (she was going through menopause, hotflashes). If I saw her naked, I’d give her a hard time, “Put clothes on mom!” But it never really upset me.
Oh, some of these stories are hilarious! I have my first baby on the way, so I found this quite interesting.
My partner and I are in the nude a lot. (we live in Australia, and sometimes it’s the only way to avoid using the air con non stop.
My mum and my grandad are always naked, sometimes its a little shocking when I go to visit gramps and find him weeding naked! Haha, but I have never had a problem with being around nude people.
On the otherhand, I NEVER saw my dad naked, he is much more reserved, and very shy about even having his shirt off around people. (except Mum I hope!)
We used to play in the back yard naked as kids, and I had no problems with keeping my clothes on elsewhere.
I personally think its good and natural to be able to feel comfortable in your bodies. It gives you a chance to see what “real” bodies look like, and not just what the media forces apon us!
And if your kids feel uncomfortable about seeing their parents private parts, just try to tone it down a little from that point on.
As an extended breastfeeding mama (I’m still nursing my 18 month old), I feel like it would be impossible to be covered up. Especially at night, I often sleep with her topless or even naked and have never felt strange about it. My husband always feels more comfortable wearing pants around her, and while I doubt she cares one way or the other, I think your child will become comfortable with whatever you and your partner are comfortable with. She’s looked at my vagina before or touched my pubic hair curiously. I just explained it’s a vagina and all girls have one…it was no big deal. I think bathtime, bedtime, and getting ready time naturally lend themselves to nudity
Our household was more or less relaxed about nudity which is great when you’re a kid. But one of the unexpected results is that when I hit puberty all of a sudden the rules changed – doors shut, no more running around the house in underwear I was told. And I think that sudden, unexplained change was really awful. So I wonder if I wouldn’t have been better off (and if our kid would be better off) with a slowly evolving idea of appropriate nudity. Teaching healthy body image is also an evolving thing. Has anyone tried the gradual approach?
I am VERY surprised at this post. I had no idea that people felt uncomfortable being naked around their young children. For sure I think everyone should do whatever they’re comfortable with, so i’m not condemning anyone.
My mom was naked or just wearing light nightgown with no underwear pretty much all the time. Also I grew up on the beach, so seeing people in bathing suits and tiny bikinis was no unusual. I showered with my dad after the beach when I was little. After a while my dad wasn’t naked around me very much, but I never really thought about it, just figured he was more modest than my mom. But he always walked around in his whitey-tightys (briefs), and I never thought anything of it. In elementary school and middle, I remember making sure my mom was aware my friends were coming over because I wanted to make sure she was dressed.
My mom had to explain to me when I was about 5 that I had to start wearing a shirt to go outside and play. most of my friends were boys and never wore shirts, so i remember being disappointed by this.
I don’t have any kids yet, but I feel like I have no problem being naked around family. The concern that I have run into is in nannying. I nannied a 7 year old boy and 3 year old girl last summer. We were on the beach so the ended up having to get naked a lot, changing in and out of bathing suits. They both had no problem being completely naked in front of me. I didn’t feel comfortable being naked in front of the 7 year old boy, so I always asked him to leave the room if I needed to change, but I had no problem changing in front of the little girl, I mean I change in front of my female friends. But at some point I realized maybe I should ask the parents how they felt about this, I mean afterall they were not my kids.
My daughter is four years old and she, my husband, and I spend a lot of time around the house naked. She still bathes and sleeps with us in this state on occasion. The question eventually came up about why people wear clothes and why we have to wear clothes in public. I told her that clothes protect our bodies when the weather is bad and some people don’t like to see naked bodies so we cover up out of respect for them, to make them feel more comfortable. She also knows that it is her choice whether to be naked or not and whether to be around us naked or not. Once or twice, she has asked us to put clothes on just to see if it really was optional and of course we respected her wishes by containing our nudity to our bedroom on those occasions. As she gets older, it’s possible that we will transition into more privacy, but we’ll most likely take our cues from her on that.
After reading all the comments, I have to offer a different opinion here. My parents were always very relaxed about nudity, (they still are to some extent) and it made me very uncomfortable and has been the subject of some conflict in our family. My parents raised me to believe that bodies were natural, nothing to be ashamed of, everyone has them etc and that nudity is not always sexual. I am fine with this and agree with all of it. However, I always found it impossible to explain that although I respected their beliefs, I wasn’t comfortable with the expectation that I would also be happy to walk around naked. I had no desire to remove my clothes, and I still don’t! I’m a happily balanced, clothed being.
I think with children it’s important to consider their opinions. As they get older they may like to have a bit more of their privacy, not because they are ‘prudish’ or ‘ashamed’, but because they don’t feel the necessity to remove their clothes. Parents often encourage their children to take on their values, but remember that how many clothes to wear is a personal choice, and your child might disagree with you on that one. Let your child make their own decisions about who gets to see them naked and when – having the opportunity to choose clothes can be liberating as well.
We walk around naked before and after showers, but we generally wear clothes because it’s cold! Also, not wanting to get vaginal fluids or poo residue all over the furniture. I was surprised that my partner felt a bit awkward when our toddler wanted to talk about all of our genitals, but after we explained and she was satisfied, everything went back to normal. I was surprised how early it came up, though. I think she was 15 months old. We did have to explain several times that you don’t poke genitals when you name them like you might with other body parts, and that daddy really doesn’t have a vulva, no matter how hard you look 😀
My boys are 8 & 10 right now (and the 10 month old). Somewhere along the way, I became less and less naked in front of them, as they grew and started taking care of their own bath stuff. Now, we all just usually sleep naked, or in various states of undress. The only rule is that your roommate has to not mind, which in this case, is all three boys and no one minds. They all agree that sleeping naked is the best way. Then, we will put on pjs to hang around the house in. I don’t keep the house too warm. On the other hand, I am nursing the 10 mo old, so the older boys had to learn the, “it’s ok to look, but not to stare” rule.
Hi, I’m the OP. Just wanted to say we are definitely NOT uncomfortable being nude around our child… but neither of us grew up in naked-friendly households, so we’ve kind of been scratching our heads about this. I’m THRILLED to hear all the responses saying that we don’t need to change a thing, and it makes so much sense that her seeing the natural human body will help her feel more confident in her own.
I actually come from another specter of the whole nude-thing.
My mother was always quite open, both with nudity and information about puberty etc and I always remembering being embarrassed by it. I actually remember that I was around 3 years old and my mother wore a see through night gown and I was mortified.
It only got worse when I hit puberty and she almost insisted that we should have these intens conversation about how my body would change.
I am (and have always been) very comfortable with my own body and have been told I used to shower with my parents when I was really young, but since I was around 4 years old I always wanted them to just cover up.
From my experience I think it is great to teach your children to be comfortable with his/her body, but not parading naked in front of your child when the child is obviously embarrassed.
My family has always been fairly modest. Nobody was ever ashamed of their bodies and I remember being in the bath with my brother and sister. As we got a little older though the unspoken rule seemed to be no private parts showing in public places. My sister and I shared a bathroom and had to leave for school at the same time so it was sort of unavoidable that we saw each other in various states of undress almost everyday. But other than that I never saw anyone in my family totally naked unless it was an accident.
Now that it’s just my hubby-to-be and me, we walk around naked all the time. But when we decide to have little ones I think I’ll revert back to my old way of doing things… Not that there’s anything wrong with being naked in front of your kids that’s just the way I was brought up.
When I was little (baby to 3 or 4) I used to spend every early morning with my dad while we got ready for work so mom could sleep a bit longer. This included sitting in the bathroom watching him bathe and dress. In about preschool or so, my dad started thinking it was a little too little privacy for him, so then we stopped having that time together.
Ever since I was a baby, I’ve hated being naked — screamed bloody murder during every diaper change and asked to take baths with clothes on — so I don’t think I’ll be doing much of anything nude in front of my daughter, but just because it’s my personal preference to have clothes on pretty much all of the time. My husband is already pretty shy around her and got upset with me this morning when I plunked her on the bed so he could watch her while he got dressed and I made breakfast — she’s 6 months old! Silly daddy.
Really interesting to read everyone’s responses here. It makes me wonder what the neighbors are doing behind their curtains — there must be a lot more nude TV watching and cooking going on than I ever thought before!
See, this is something I’ve been dealing with as of late. I have a 2 year old stepson, who my fiance and I have full and complete custody over, and my fiance and I severely disagree on the nudity front. I am perfectly fine with him seeing me walk around in my underwear in the common areas, or seeing me naked between bedroom and bathroom. But husband-to-be is really against it, not even wanting his son to see him naked. I don’t get it. It’s not like our son runs around taking his clothes off, in the house or out, and I feel like it’s beneficial to a child to be familiar with the human body. Honestly, I would love to be able to teach him the words ‘penis’ and ‘vagina,’ but the social stigmas on those words are so great that I really would not like my child getting sent home from school all the time for using proper scientific names.
I must agree with what Cherish said about the scene in Totoro. That’s actually one of my favourite scenes because it shows how Eastern cultures tend to be much more lax about nudity, especially within the family unit, and how it’s just one more way for parents to bond with their kids. My fiance watched that movie with me and seemed really freaked out by that scene. It just confuses me because he has no shame when it comes to anything else.
While we’re at it, perhaps the Off Beat Mama community can start a movement by using the word “vulva” instead of “vagina” with each other and our children.
‘Vulva’ refers to the greater-genital-area on a woman’s body while ‘vagina’ is simply the vaginal canal.
I dont remember seeing my parents nude when i was young. Though my mom did say i drew a good representation of he male anatomy in church once. But i was VERY modest growing up. I wouldnt even shower after gym. Once i moved out and eventually met my husband I have become more and more free feeling i guess you could say. Walking around my house in my undies, when it just me and my husband, is the norm now. I would like to raise my kids to feel the freedom i have now, than how i was as a kid (when we have some). I dont see a problem with it in your own home and property. 🙂
Im the eldest of 4 girls, my parents were always natural in the house and we followed suite, obviously not if we had guests or anything. But it made a difference I think. It helped me to be more body confident than most of the people I know, and even now I’m on the heavy side, I’m still more comfortable with my body that some of my perfect-figure friends.
So I say keep doing what your doing, I don’t think you’ll create a streaker, just a young man whose modest and comfortable with his body and respects the ‘real’ image of the female body too 😀
My folks were almost always naked in the mornings, and our kids (4 months and 3.5 years) see us without clothes on before and after bathing. And I think we’ll keep that up really, so it’s normalised.
Mind you, when they’re teenages, I might be more sure to cover up if they have friends staying over 😮
We have the same policy. And all our friends and family know that when they come to our house we may be clothed, or in any stage of undress…it’s kind of our house policy ha! A lot of my friends have seen me naked at some point. Even our 3 year old loves to be naked. (He also stays very hot,so he’s more comfortable that way.) So for us, it’s normal. It’s also a great opportunity to teach about the body! (How muscles, tendons, blood, etc. work.) My partner grew up in a similar household as well.
BUT we handle it simply–we teach our kids that society (and some people) have different views about everything. SO sometimes it is not appropriate (or legal) to be naked. Not that there’s anything wrong with it, it just makes society uneasy sometimes.
My family was nude a lot, but the nudity always had a purpose- everyone undressed in their bedrooms, then walked to the bathroom (single bathroom, 4 kids, 2 parents) nude, and frequently got dressed with the door open, and it was okay to sit on my parents’ bed and talk to them as they got dressed, etc. It was never a big deal. We also had a fairly open bathroom policy because we had 6 people and 1 bathroom. Door open- c’mon in. Door closed- knock. Someone would frequently come in to pee while someone else was brushing teeth, etc.
When my older siblings got to upper high school, or coming home from college, they would sometimes wear a towel or bathrobe to the bathroom, as they wanted to. Two siblings more than the others.
Easy-peasy… and no nude family portraits, that I can recall.
My husband is very modest: wears a t-shirt while swimming, wears t-shirt and underwear to bed, wants lights off when having intercourse, etc. I grew up in a much more lax household: we all walked around in varying degrees of undress unless company was around. So I see no reason to change the way we are in front of my son.
My husband used to wear trunks in the bath when my son was very little, because he felt strange having him sit on his naked lap, but now they shower and potty together full on, and no one cares. I shower with my son, as well, and he’s fine. He realizes that mom has different equipment from dad (although, try as I might to tell him about my vagina or vulva, he still insists on calling my pubis “armpit” because I don’t shave). Although, funny story. The other day we were getting ready for a shower, so we were both naked in the bathroom. I had to change my tampon, so I did that in front of him. He’s seen it lots and lots of times, but this time the fact that the little “band aid” disappeared into mom freaked him out, and he insisted on inspecting when we were in the shower. I had to gently explain to him what was happening without letting him get invasive.
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I grew up thinking that my parents were naked more often than other people’s parents, but I guess I wouldn’t have any way of knowing how other people’s parents were without any neighbors or friends around! My dad covered up before I really started remembering, but my mom went topless or bottomless around the house after showers or while getting dressed. That was normal and fine — although I think we were both startled the time I brought a friend home from school and Mom was ironing the pants she was going to wear!
I’ve always been more modest about nudity and bathroom privacy. A certain frankness about dressing/undressing was necessary backstage or in locker rooms, but I adopted a general behavior of just not looking. And I always close the bathroom door when I’m using the toilet (or using the shower, ’cause I have Hitchcockian paranoia about people sneaking up on me). I do think that I would have had a better appreciation for my own body if I had seen more examples of how everyday people look without their clothes — not just what’s represented in media/entertainment.
i don’t remember ever seeing my family naked (except for one barging-into-the bathroom incident), but seeing my mom in her underwear at the ironing board (or digging through the dryer) was a daily occurrence!
otherwise, though, my “parenting” experience is all with other folks’ kids, so i am pretty vigilant about clothing – my clothing, at least. i figure they can wear (or not) whatever they’re comfortable with around the house. although, i don’t see that changing if they were my own – i’m fairly private about my body. also, i feel like giving birth and breastfeeding (which i will not be doing) provide a sort of obvious amount of non-sexual nudity to a parent/child relationship out of necessity…i feel like without that it would be more of a conscious choice (a legit one, but probably not what i’d do).
My mom and her family were always pretty open with nudity. Her family even spent time at a nudist family resort periodically when she was a child. I don’t feel like nudity is a big deal.
Our son is 2, and we haven’t put any restrictions in place yet. We have been practicing elimination communication since we was 6 weeks old, so he sees us in the bathroom all the time. He knows “penis” and “gina” and will point to mine. He cries if I close the bathroom door, so he’s seen me insert my menstrual cup and take it out. He sees me put on pantyliners and we say they are like little diapers for mommy. We encourage him to watch daddy pee because we hope he’ll transition to standing while peeing soon. He takes a bath while one of us takes a shower because we are usually never home at the same time (I work days, daddy works nights) and it’s the only way we can keep clean. We let him be naked when he wants to, especially since he gets eczema in his diaper area if he has an accident. He sleeps with us, but I’ve always worn pajamas even before having a kid.
The “little diapers for mommy” thing reminded me of the first time my two year old saw me on the toilet while I had a pad in my underwear. She pointed to it and said in a very uncertain voice, “Mama poopoo?”
Apparently I once asked my mom what it was and she told me it was to protect her panties. Later she found me in the sandbox packing sand into the crotch of my underwear in order to emulate her. Silly children.
My 7y/o twin stepsons grew up w/o a mom til they were 5 (enter: me) So they had no idea what a woman’s body looked like. I’m very comfortable being naked, but they’re very…interested. They peep through the shower curtain and the crack in the door to see my undress. Then they run back to their room and giggle about it. THAT makes me uncomfortable. So i try to stay modest with them around.
on the other hand, I breastfeed very openly. So much so that they made their friends at school breastfeed their babies when they were playing “house”. We had to have a talk about that one. lol
My brothers (who are 17) have PODOs all the time (Pants Off Dance Off) So now my twins think its a blast and strip down as soon as theyre home. I think its fine.
My mom constantly walked around me naked, even after I was “aware” of her being naked. It got a little awkward for me once I was a teenager, but it wasn’t as though she was parading around (she was going through menopause, hotflashes). If I saw her naked, I’d give her a hard time, “Put clothes on mom!” But it never really upset me.
Oh, some of these stories are hilarious! I have my first baby on the way, so I found this quite interesting.
My partner and I are in the nude a lot. (we live in Australia, and sometimes it’s the only way to avoid using the air con non stop.
My mum and my grandad are always naked, sometimes its a little shocking when I go to visit gramps and find him weeding naked! Haha, but I have never had a problem with being around nude people.
On the otherhand, I NEVER saw my dad naked, he is much more reserved, and very shy about even having his shirt off around people. (except Mum I hope!)
We used to play in the back yard naked as kids, and I had no problems with keeping my clothes on elsewhere.
I personally think its good and natural to be able to feel comfortable in your bodies. It gives you a chance to see what “real” bodies look like, and not just what the media forces apon us!
And if your kids feel uncomfortable about seeing their parents private parts, just try to tone it down a little from that point on.
🙂
As an extended breastfeeding mama (I’m still nursing my 18 month old), I feel like it would be impossible to be covered up. Especially at night, I often sleep with her topless or even naked and have never felt strange about it. My husband always feels more comfortable wearing pants around her, and while I doubt she cares one way or the other, I think your child will become comfortable with whatever you and your partner are comfortable with. She’s looked at my vagina before or touched my pubic hair curiously. I just explained it’s a vagina and all girls have one…it was no big deal. I think bathtime, bedtime, and getting ready time naturally lend themselves to nudity
Our household was more or less relaxed about nudity which is great when you’re a kid. But one of the unexpected results is that when I hit puberty all of a sudden the rules changed – doors shut, no more running around the house in underwear I was told. And I think that sudden, unexplained change was really awful. So I wonder if I wouldn’t have been better off (and if our kid would be better off) with a slowly evolving idea of appropriate nudity. Teaching healthy body image is also an evolving thing. Has anyone tried the gradual approach?
I am VERY surprised at this post. I had no idea that people felt uncomfortable being naked around their young children. For sure I think everyone should do whatever they’re comfortable with, so i’m not condemning anyone.
My mom was naked or just wearing light nightgown with no underwear pretty much all the time. Also I grew up on the beach, so seeing people in bathing suits and tiny bikinis was no unusual. I showered with my dad after the beach when I was little. After a while my dad wasn’t naked around me very much, but I never really thought about it, just figured he was more modest than my mom. But he always walked around in his whitey-tightys (briefs), and I never thought anything of it. In elementary school and middle, I remember making sure my mom was aware my friends were coming over because I wanted to make sure she was dressed.
My mom had to explain to me when I was about 5 that I had to start wearing a shirt to go outside and play. most of my friends were boys and never wore shirts, so i remember being disappointed by this.
I don’t have any kids yet, but I feel like I have no problem being naked around family. The concern that I have run into is in nannying. I nannied a 7 year old boy and 3 year old girl last summer. We were on the beach so the ended up having to get naked a lot, changing in and out of bathing suits. They both had no problem being completely naked in front of me. I didn’t feel comfortable being naked in front of the 7 year old boy, so I always asked him to leave the room if I needed to change, but I had no problem changing in front of the little girl, I mean I change in front of my female friends. But at some point I realized maybe I should ask the parents how they felt about this, I mean afterall they were not my kids.
My daughter is four years old and she, my husband, and I spend a lot of time around the house naked. She still bathes and sleeps with us in this state on occasion. The question eventually came up about why people wear clothes and why we have to wear clothes in public. I told her that clothes protect our bodies when the weather is bad and some people don’t like to see naked bodies so we cover up out of respect for them, to make them feel more comfortable. She also knows that it is her choice whether to be naked or not and whether to be around us naked or not. Once or twice, she has asked us to put clothes on just to see if it really was optional and of course we respected her wishes by containing our nudity to our bedroom on those occasions. As she gets older, it’s possible that we will transition into more privacy, but we’ll most likely take our cues from her on that.
After reading all the comments, I have to offer a different opinion here. My parents were always very relaxed about nudity, (they still are to some extent) and it made me very uncomfortable and has been the subject of some conflict in our family. My parents raised me to believe that bodies were natural, nothing to be ashamed of, everyone has them etc and that nudity is not always sexual. I am fine with this and agree with all of it. However, I always found it impossible to explain that although I respected their beliefs, I wasn’t comfortable with the expectation that I would also be happy to walk around naked. I had no desire to remove my clothes, and I still don’t! I’m a happily balanced, clothed being.
I think with children it’s important to consider their opinions. As they get older they may like to have a bit more of their privacy, not because they are ‘prudish’ or ‘ashamed’, but because they don’t feel the necessity to remove their clothes. Parents often encourage their children to take on their values, but remember that how many clothes to wear is a personal choice, and your child might disagree with you on that one. Let your child make their own decisions about who gets to see them naked and when – having the opportunity to choose clothes can be liberating as well.
We walk around naked before and after showers, but we generally wear clothes because it’s cold! Also, not wanting to get vaginal fluids or poo residue all over the furniture. I was surprised that my partner felt a bit awkward when our toddler wanted to talk about all of our genitals, but after we explained and she was satisfied, everything went back to normal. I was surprised how early it came up, though. I think she was 15 months old. We did have to explain several times that you don’t poke genitals when you name them like you might with other body parts, and that daddy really doesn’t have a vulva, no matter how hard you look 😀
My boys are 8 & 10 right now (and the 10 month old). Somewhere along the way, I became less and less naked in front of them, as they grew and started taking care of their own bath stuff. Now, we all just usually sleep naked, or in various states of undress. The only rule is that your roommate has to not mind, which in this case, is all three boys and no one minds. They all agree that sleeping naked is the best way. Then, we will put on pjs to hang around the house in. I don’t keep the house too warm. On the other hand, I am nursing the 10 mo old, so the older boys had to learn the, “it’s ok to look, but not to stare” rule.
Hi, I’m the OP. Just wanted to say we are definitely NOT uncomfortable being nude around our child… but neither of us grew up in naked-friendly households, so we’ve kind of been scratching our heads about this. I’m THRILLED to hear all the responses saying that we don’t need to change a thing, and it makes so much sense that her seeing the natural human body will help her feel more confident in her own.
I actually come from another specter of the whole nude-thing.
My mother was always quite open, both with nudity and information about puberty etc and I always remembering being embarrassed by it. I actually remember that I was around 3 years old and my mother wore a see through night gown and I was mortified.
It only got worse when I hit puberty and she almost insisted that we should have these intens conversation about how my body would change.
I am (and have always been) very comfortable with my own body and have been told I used to shower with my parents when I was really young, but since I was around 4 years old I always wanted them to just cover up.
From my experience I think it is great to teach your children to be comfortable with his/her body, but not parading naked in front of your child when the child is obviously embarrassed.
My family has always been fairly modest. Nobody was ever ashamed of their bodies and I remember being in the bath with my brother and sister. As we got a little older though the unspoken rule seemed to be no private parts showing in public places. My sister and I shared a bathroom and had to leave for school at the same time so it was sort of unavoidable that we saw each other in various states of undress almost everyday. But other than that I never saw anyone in my family totally naked unless it was an accident.
Now that it’s just my hubby-to-be and me, we walk around naked all the time. But when we decide to have little ones I think I’ll revert back to my old way of doing things… Not that there’s anything wrong with being naked in front of your kids that’s just the way I was brought up.
When I was little (baby to 3 or 4) I used to spend every early morning with my dad while we got ready for work so mom could sleep a bit longer. This included sitting in the bathroom watching him bathe and dress. In about preschool or so, my dad started thinking it was a little too little privacy for him, so then we stopped having that time together.
Ever since I was a baby, I’ve hated being naked — screamed bloody murder during every diaper change and asked to take baths with clothes on — so I don’t think I’ll be doing much of anything nude in front of my daughter, but just because it’s my personal preference to have clothes on pretty much all of the time. My husband is already pretty shy around her and got upset with me this morning when I plunked her on the bed so he could watch her while he got dressed and I made breakfast — she’s 6 months old! Silly daddy.
Really interesting to read everyone’s responses here. It makes me wonder what the neighbors are doing behind their curtains — there must be a lot more nude TV watching and cooking going on than I ever thought before!
See, this is something I’ve been dealing with as of late. I have a 2 year old stepson, who my fiance and I have full and complete custody over, and my fiance and I severely disagree on the nudity front. I am perfectly fine with him seeing me walk around in my underwear in the common areas, or seeing me naked between bedroom and bathroom. But husband-to-be is really against it, not even wanting his son to see him naked. I don’t get it. It’s not like our son runs around taking his clothes off, in the house or out, and I feel like it’s beneficial to a child to be familiar with the human body. Honestly, I would love to be able to teach him the words ‘penis’ and ‘vagina,’ but the social stigmas on those words are so great that I really would not like my child getting sent home from school all the time for using proper scientific names.
I must agree with what Cherish said about the scene in Totoro. That’s actually one of my favourite scenes because it shows how Eastern cultures tend to be much more lax about nudity, especially within the family unit, and how it’s just one more way for parents to bond with their kids. My fiance watched that movie with me and seemed really freaked out by that scene. It just confuses me because he has no shame when it comes to anything else.
I think it’s *really* important to teach your child the proper names for body parts. Here’s a good list of reasons: http://www.parentsask.com/articles/should-i-use-proper-names-when-talking-about-private-parts
While we’re at it, perhaps the Off Beat Mama community can start a movement by using the word “vulva” instead of “vagina” with each other and our children.
‘Vulva’ refers to the greater-genital-area on a woman’s body while ‘vagina’ is simply the vaginal canal.
I think your situation is fine. If you are comfortable, your kids will be too.
I dont remember seeing my parents nude when i was young. Though my mom did say i drew a good representation of he male anatomy in church once. But i was VERY modest growing up. I wouldnt even shower after gym. Once i moved out and eventually met my husband I have become more and more free feeling i guess you could say. Walking around my house in my undies, when it just me and my husband, is the norm now. I would like to raise my kids to feel the freedom i have now, than how i was as a kid (when we have some). I dont see a problem with it in your own home and property. 🙂
Im the eldest of 4 girls, my parents were always natural in the house and we followed suite, obviously not if we had guests or anything. But it made a difference I think. It helped me to be more body confident than most of the people I know, and even now I’m on the heavy side, I’m still more comfortable with my body that some of my perfect-figure friends.
So I say keep doing what your doing, I don’t think you’ll create a streaker, just a young man whose modest and comfortable with his body and respects the ‘real’ image of the female body too 😀
My folks were almost always naked in the mornings, and our kids (4 months and 3.5 years) see us without clothes on before and after bathing. And I think we’ll keep that up really, so it’s normalised.
Mind you, when they’re teenages, I might be more sure to cover up if they have friends staying over 😮
We have the same policy. And all our friends and family know that when they come to our house we may be clothed, or in any stage of undress…it’s kind of our house policy ha! A lot of my friends have seen me naked at some point. Even our 3 year old loves to be naked. (He also stays very hot,so he’s more comfortable that way.) So for us, it’s normal. It’s also a great opportunity to teach about the body! (How muscles, tendons, blood, etc. work.) My partner grew up in a similar household as well.
BUT we handle it simply–we teach our kids that society (and some people) have different views about everything. SO sometimes it is not appropriate (or legal) to be naked. Not that there’s anything wrong with it, it just makes society uneasy sometimes.
My family was nude a lot, but the nudity always had a purpose- everyone undressed in their bedrooms, then walked to the bathroom (single bathroom, 4 kids, 2 parents) nude, and frequently got dressed with the door open, and it was okay to sit on my parents’ bed and talk to them as they got dressed, etc. It was never a big deal. We also had a fairly open bathroom policy because we had 6 people and 1 bathroom. Door open- c’mon in. Door closed- knock. Someone would frequently come in to pee while someone else was brushing teeth, etc.
When my older siblings got to upper high school, or coming home from college, they would sometimes wear a towel or bathrobe to the bathroom, as they wanted to. Two siblings more than the others.
Easy-peasy… and no nude family portraits, that I can recall.
My husband is very modest: wears a t-shirt while swimming, wears t-shirt and underwear to bed, wants lights off when having intercourse, etc. I grew up in a much more lax household: we all walked around in varying degrees of undress unless company was around. So I see no reason to change the way we are in front of my son.
My husband used to wear trunks in the bath when my son was very little, because he felt strange having him sit on his naked lap, but now they shower and potty together full on, and no one cares. I shower with my son, as well, and he’s fine. He realizes that mom has different equipment from dad (although, try as I might to tell him about my vagina or vulva, he still insists on calling my pubis “armpit” because I don’t shave). Although, funny story. The other day we were getting ready for a shower, so we were both naked in the bathroom. I had to change my tampon, so I did that in front of him. He’s seen it lots and lots of times, but this time the fact that the little “band aid” disappeared into mom freaked him out, and he insisted on inspecting when we were in the shower. I had to gently explain to him what was happening without letting him get invasive.