I hate being pregnant.
There. I said it.
Does it mean that I’m going to hate motherhood? Absolutely NOT! Since the moment I found out I was pregnant, I was anxiously awaiting the arrival of my child, and had a plethora of hopes and dreams running through my mind 24/7. I can’t wait to have my kid in my arms, snuggle him, kiss him, and tell him how much I love him… I just haven’t enjoyed the journey of pregnancy.
So why do I hate being pregnant? Well, let’s face it, pregnancy isn’t all about “glowing” and the occasional bout of heartburn. Well, maybe it is for some people but it definitely hasn’t been for me.
Pregnancy has been brutal
Going into pregnancy as a high-risk mamma-to-be, I got dealt a further hand of nasty cards — including nine months of morning sickness, pelvic girdle disfunction, a post-nasal drip that lead to additional vomiting, as well as the grand finale of excessive swelling, dangerous increase in blood pressure… And don’t even get me started about the wild world of hemmorhoids and the other absolutely horrific things that happen to your nether regions. Needless to say, there hasn’t really been a day since the moment we conceived that I haven’t had to deal with nasty pregnancy symptoms.
Being a Simpson’s fan (I had a Simpsons baby shower, after all) I tried to express myself using Simpson’s quotes and screenshots from things that I felt really expressed my life at that moment. Around week 32 I posted this one in, relation to all the swelling I had:
I thought it was funny, clever and a pretty “me” way to express my difficulties. Until a really odd comment appeared under the photo. The comment was along the lines of “God help you if you resent this child this much once it’s out of the womb.”
It made me realize that while I’ve come to terms with hating being pregnant; it’s still incredibly socially unacceptable to be anything but joyous and ridiculously positive about the entire experience.
So to all of those out there who hate being pregnant, please remember this…
You don’t have to love being pregnant
The things that are happening to your body right now can be gross, downright nasty and frankly, they can really put a damper on your quality of life. As excited as you may be for your baby, you may be mourning the loss of your “normal” self and abilities, especially if you’re suffering from a lot of pregnancy related side effects.
If you hate being pregnant, you’re not alone
There are so many other women that feel the same way either at times or throughout the length of their pregnancy. Unfortunately, not many women will speak out about it due to the nasty backlash they can get.
If you find yourself not being the happiest of campers while you’re creating a mini-human, find people to talk to either in person with friends, in a forum of supportive women or with a social worker or other mental health professional.
If you choose to post about your point of view online
It’s normal to get haters. But remember that while haters gonna hate, there will also be so many other women who are relieved to see that there’s someone else who shared their sentiments, and who had the courage to discuss it out loud.
So why am I talking about how much I hate pregnancy?
To quote my best friend and doula, Laura Cooper (in response to the nasty comment)…
Because silencing a woman’s complaints about pregnancy, birth and the postpartum period can set the stage for a women to feel like she had to keep quiet when things are spiraling out of control. You don’t know the whole story or the extent of someone’s discomfort or even suffering just based on their complaint, so please practice empathy, even if complaints make you uncomfortable. When women are complaining, they’re likely giving voice to some serious underlying concerns, like… Is this normal, or is it something I need to talk to my care provider about? Am I alone in this? Has anyone else gone through this? Who is here to be my support network? Let’s take care of each other.
Who else hated or currently hates being pregnant? Let’s talk about and support each other!