Down in Dad’s Shop: a second generation stay-at-home-dad’s reflections on childhood
I grew up with an understanding of manual labor that the children of those who work with their hands often receive: as rewarding as it might be, it is awfully hard on your back. My dad would come in from his barn at night, primer dust in his hair and streaks of paint on his shirt and we knew better than to complain about our days.
How do offbeat schools raise funds?
My son goes to a small community school with an offbeat philosophy which makes many traditional fundraisers a wrong fit for the families. Things like craft fairs and seed sales do well, but coupon books and competitions less so.
Taking a vacation in our city helped get my marriage and parenting focus back on track
Parenthood came with all of its work and exhaustion and then postpartum depression hit and we haven’t been managing those new challenges well. We went from being each other’s warm, safe, place to fall into at the end of the day to adversaries who yell and scream and take out all of our frustrations on the other person. It’s not like this every day, of course, but the grumpy, angry, days are creeping in more and more frequently.
There is no right way to handle your child’s unexpected diagnosis
But in parenting a kid with a diagnosis you hadn’t exactly longed for, coming unraveled can be a bumpy part of the road you’re on. Sometimes, just like our kids, we go through a developmental phase of chaos and disintegration before we consolidate new skills. I didn’t enjoy it, but I don’t think I could have skipped that step. It was an important part of my developmental trajectory.
My partner won’t be at our son’s birth: dealing with birthing almost alone
Due to circumstances beyond both of our control — a move, a job change for me, and my partner’s desire to really try the job it took him over a year to find — it looks like I’m going to be having this baby alone. There’ll be doctors and nurses and maybe a doula, sure, but I always thought my partner would be there with me. And while it’s possible that he may make it for the birth, it’s entirely possible that he will miss it.
I don’t care if my kids get tattoos, but I do have a few ground rules
My two-year old just learned to say “tattoo”. I have two tattoos, and he’s very interested in them. I’m not sure he understands what tattoos are — maybe he thinks Mommy’s skin just grew these intricate designs, like he grew the mole on his leg that he’s also very interested in. Maybe one day he’ll want a tattoo of his own, and if he does, there are six rules.
My best friends are from the internet
We live in a world where online dating is becoming increasingly mainstream (Match.com recently funded a study that showed one-in-five relationships now start online) but somehow, finding friends online is still seen as abnormal. And that, to put it eloquently, is really dumb.
I became a parent by straightening a bathroom towel
Does my stepdaughter ever even notice that the towel gets magically straightened? I have no idea, but the chances of her thanking me for it are slim, and my mother was right. It’s not the point. Is it important that the towel be straightened? Well, it certainly increases the chances that she actually gets a dry towel next time, but who knows if she even notices whether or not her towel is dry? It makes me feel better about the state of the bathroom and in the grand scheme of parenting, that is not something to be taken lightly.