Are poly and sex-positive people really “obsessed with sex”?
Many (if not most of us) who are polyamorous, swinger, or in any kind of open relationships, have been told we are “obsessed with sex.” But are we really? Okay, sure… there are absolutely people out there who would be obsessed with sex. They even have therapy sessions, which for anyone truly obsessed with sex — that is a wonderful thing. But many of us are not dictionary-definition obsessed with sexual pleasures. We’re simply open — open-minded, open sexually, and sexually positive. Is that really a bad thing? Apparently to some people, yes, yes it is.
Reflecting on becoming a mother when you’ve lost your own
While my husband and I discuss having a kid, I’ve heavily reflected on how my mother’s life and death will translate into my own experience as a parent, and my relationship with my child. I’ve questioned how I can give my child what my mom gave me as hers. I’ve even feared the potential reality of me having the same fate as her at her age. But with this, I’ve realized two very important things within my concerns…
Dear well-meaning people who see my ring and ask “when are you going to have kids?”
I understand that our society has instilled in you that when a couple gets married the next step in their life together is to try to procreate. I understand that my fiancé and I are in the minority when we declare, completely honestly and without any trace of shame, that we do not want children. But you need to understand that “first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes baby in the baby carriage” is not a universal statement.
How do deal with gift-giving as your families and finances change?
Now that our brothers are over 21, do we still get them presents? And how do we tell them we don’t want them to use their limited funds to get us anything? And can we not get them presents while still buying my younger siblings presents? And what about when our siblings have kids too? We can’t afford to buy 10 kids quality presents as well as all of our other people! Plus, I don’t want our kid coming home with a truckload of gifts. How have other Homies dealt with family gift giving as their families and finances have changed?
Pregnant and polyamorous: On dating a potential lover while pregnant by your husband
My husband and I were a month into trying to conceive when we I peed on that stick and got the great news that I was pregnant. As we sat looking at the third positive pregnancy test, I excitedly and nervously thought about who we would tell first: parents, siblings, in-laws, and that fantastic man that I started dating… I debated and decided that being pregnant would not be a barrier to pursuing him as a lover, my husband concurred — but I wasn’t sure if he would feel the same.
“The recipes I loved were giving me the finger”: Adapting to my child’s life-threatening food allergies as a foodie
I am a foodie. I love food. Cooking is rarely a chore for me. Then a year ago, life dropped a bomb smack where it hurts the most for me: My five-year-old suddenly developed a severe life-threatening allergic reaction to eggs. It affected me deeply. Personally. Not just as a concerned mom, but this allergy took one of my greatest passions and prevented me from indulging. So we developed a pact that helped us both get through this together…
My mother walked out of my life and never looked back: How to move on from parental abandonment
I always get irrationally angry when people post pictures on Facebook with captions like, “A Mother’s Love is Forever,” and “Nothing Is Stronger Than The Bond Between Mother and Child.” What a bunch of bullshit. My mother walked out of my life years ago, and never looked back. So how do I deal with it? How does one cope with the loss of a parent not to death, but by parental abandonment? Like this…
How do I decide to be a homemaker… and feel good about it?
I live on the East Coast. My partner lives on the West Coast. So far, the distance has been manageable. Here is the other catch: He was initially the one considering moving, but has incredible career prospects where he is living. One that will bring in enough income that I wouldn’t have to work.
How can I reconcile my fears about becoming a homemaker?