Category Archive

Relationships

Let’s talk about our partners, and how we negotiate sharing our homes and lives with them.

How an Offbeat Bride realized “the picture perfect relationship” is a lie

Rocky relationships, fights, talks about breaking up… sometimes relationships aren’t all sunshine and rainbows. Sometimes they’re not the perfect instagram photo of the two super-smile-y fuckers that you wish you could be. Guess what: Those super-smile-y fuckers aren’t perfect either.

How can you best relate to friends with imprisoned loved ones?

When I found out what had happened I knew my friend would be devastated. Her partner will be in jail for years, not weeks. I have messaged her a few times indicating I would love to see her, and we are planning a catch up in the next few weeks. My conundrum is this: Do we talk about her partner? Do I pass on my best wishes? Do I just ask if she is okay? What is the best way to show my support to her, and by proxy, her imprisoned partner.

Bonding by venting: Because tearing things down together is a shared activity

People bond by venting. And while negativity is a great social tool — tearing things down together is a shared activity! — it’s just also very, very damaging…

Are poly and sex-positive people really “obsessed with sex”?

Many (if not most of us) who are polyamorous, swinger, or in any kind of open relationships, have been told we are “obsessed with sex.” But are we really? Okay, sure… there are absolutely people out there who would be obsessed with sex. They even have therapy sessions, which for anyone truly obsessed with sex — that is a wonderful thing. But many of us are not dictionary-definition obsessed with sexual pleasures. We’re simply open — open-minded, open sexually, and sexually positive. Is that really a bad thing? Apparently to some people, yes, yes it is.

Dear well-meaning people who see my ring and ask “when are you going to have kids?”

I understand that our society has instilled in you that when a couple gets married the next step in their life together is to try to procreate. I understand that my fiancé and I are in the minority when we declare, completely honestly and without any trace of shame, that we do not want children. But you need to understand that “first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes baby in the baby carriage” is not a universal statement.

Pregnant and polyamorous: On dating a potential lover while pregnant by your husband

My husband and I were a month into trying to conceive when we I peed on that stick and got the great news that I was pregnant. As we sat looking at the third positive pregnancy test, I excitedly and nervously thought about who we would tell first: parents, siblings, in-laws, and that fantastic man that I started dating… I debated and decided that being pregnant would not be a barrier to pursuing him as a lover, my husband concurred — but I wasn’t sure if he would feel the same.

How do I decide to be a homemaker… and feel good about it?

I live on the East Coast. My partner lives on the West Coast. So far, the distance has been manageable. Here is the other catch: He was initially the one considering moving, but has incredible career prospects where he is living. One that will bring in enough income that I wouldn’t have to work.

How can I reconcile my fears about becoming a homemaker?

Any non-gendered advice on meeting the parents for the first time?

I’m in my late 20s and I’ve never really done the whole “meet the parents” thing before. Most of the advice I can find online is pretty sexist (dress conservatively, offer to help in the kitchen to show that you can run a house!). Is there anything I should know that isn’t super gender stereotyped?