Category Archive

Identity

Name change regret: I changed my last name and now I regret it. What should I do?

I changed my last name and now I regret it. What should I do?

When I got married, I didn’t want to keep my name because I grew up with an abusive father. My husband is deeply connected to his last name and didn’t want to change, so I took his name. Now I hate that I changed my name because I associate it with his parents, and they aren’t very good people, and I feel stuck. Any advice?

How I express my offbeat self in my onbeat career?

How I find ways to express my offbeat self in my onbeat career

I’m a total Offbeater in an Onbeat career. I’m the business interface and management for a group of engineers in Tech in the Silicon Valley. And unless you can break the sound barrier on amazing code, your work clothes had better be “business casual.” Since I am the business interface, I find myself even more pigeonholed into looking more “corporate” than I’d prefer. I find little ways to express my offbeatness though…

I am gender fluid and losing weight. How will I feel about my body after?

I am gender fluid and losing weight. How will I feel about my body after?

I’ve just recently come to the realization that I am genderfluid. Ever since I was a toddler, I’ve been this mix of feminine and masculine, insisting on wearing fluffy dresses while playing Power Rangers. I’ve always felt too masculine to be a girl and too feminine to be a boy.

How do others in the trans and genderqueer community handle physical body changes like weight loss? Does anyone else worry their perception of their own gender, or lack thereof, could change at the end of that particular journey?

An interview with writer/performer/fashion maven Travis Alabanza

Travis Alabanza is a London-based performance artist, writer, and fashion gurl. Released in 2017, Travis’ stunning chap book, Before I Step Outside (You Love Me) documents the experience of navigating public space as a trans person. Let’s hear what motivates Travis in fashion, writing, and performance…

"Are you a boy or a girl?" How do you explain gender to a child?

“Are you a boy or a girl?” How do you explain gender to a child?

My kiddo is biologically male, but when kids ask him if he’s a boy or girl, he says, “I’m me. I’m a person.” Kids, however, don’t accept this answer and pester him to the point of tears. I don’t know how to tell him the difference between boys and girls, or if I want to tell him that there is a difference at all (besides anatomically).

How do you explain gender to a four-year-old?

Get your daily self love by following these body positive Instagram accounts

Get your daily self love by following these body positive Instagram accounts

We’ve been having some discussions about body positivity lately that made me remember that not everyone is entrenched in body positive role models on social media as others of us are. What better way to shine some light on our favorite bad-ass body positive babes than by finding some of the best body positive Instagram accounts out there?

Whether they’re loving their fat bodies, their differently-abled bodies, their perceived “flaws,” their feminism, and their everyday realness, these are some babes who will prove that “the norm” means nothing.

Why I'm becoming okay with always coming out of the closet

Why I’m okay with coming out of the closet over and over

Coming out is not something that happens once and it’s over.

The first time I came out was with a bang. The anxiety accompanied with the initial big reveal has faded. Nevertheless, I continue to experience coming out of the closet over and over again…

I am curvy and that's beautiful: my (ongoing) journey toward body positivity

I am curvy and that’s beautiful: my (ongoing) journey toward body positivity

To be honest, I don’t recall a time when I have looked in a mirror and thought I was skinny or loved what I saw. I have spent hours trying clothes on; searching for that one outfit that made me feel good about every part of my body. I’m still searching, pretty sure those clothes don’t exist.

But here’s how I promise to try my hardest to love myself in my journey toward body positivity…