How being a nanny to a three-year-old has taught me self-acceptance
As I evaluate my role as a strong, positive role model in Johannah’s life, I am particularly cognizant of the image of myself that I share with her, that I unconsciously project into the world. I may be found, at times, in front of a full length mirror scrutinizing the lumps and bumps of my body, rough patches of skin, the crookedness of my front teeth.
Why I’m saying no to maternity leave
Now that my husband and I are expecting, of course the issue of maternity leave has come up. I think I initially just thought that a standard 12-weeks would be assumed. I have so many friends who wish they had more, who would tell me “after the baby comes, you won’t want to go back to work!” And I tried to believe that. Really, I did. The problem was that I never, ever felt that way.
I was born multi-racial and didn’t realize it until I was 6
As an adult I find myself faced with the issue of race every day — I never know what to check when I’m filling out any kind of official form. The truth is, if it were not for my mother’s words I’d be incredibly frustrated by the situation. Instead, the idea that I belong to the human race is the foundation of my upbringing, and I realize that I cannot be easily defined by what my skin looks like.
My plan for raising Pagan children
I intend to raise my child in a Pagan household. I’ve come to see that this means different things to different people, and a lot of it probably has to do with our own experiences of childhood and religion.When I say “raising a child Pagan,” I mean that he or she will be living their life in a largely Pagan household.
I’m genderqueer and pregnant: how my tattoos are helping me maintain my identity
Throughout the years I have experienced many different responses to my tattoo work. My tattoos are very personal — the experiences and tattoos themselves are very spiritual to me and all my work has deep symbolic meaning. I’ve recently found myself 35 and pregnant (something I never thought would happen), and my pregnancy has uncovered another benefit to my tattoos.
What I have learned about adoption, family and myself since the death of my birth mother
I am adopted. For me, it’s just normal. It’s not something I’m ashamed of or anything I have ever had a problem with. I’ve always known I was adopted and had quite a few peers and friends who are also adopted so there was no stigma. It was a closed adoption and at the time the identity of the woman who gave me up for adoption was not disclosed. That woman has recently passed away which has led me to look back and consider what it has meant to me to be adopted and look at the relationship we have had.
Tips for new parents: augmenting your pre-baby beauty regimes
Today I would like to publicly celebrate an unpredictable effect of that very predictable phenomenon: the way in which my beauty routine did not disappear at all as much as it mutated in strange and wonderful ways. It is now wholly different to what it previously was: it would be unrecognisable, probably, to my pre-parenthood self. But, I venture to assure you, it’s quicker. It’s cheaper. Hell, it might even be better.
My son is more than “a heart transplant baby”
Families that experience major medical drama or have chronic conditions are all too often permanently associated with that drama. I had a friend growing up whose family was “The Car Accident Family” after several of them were permanently disabled in a serious collision. One of my friends was “The Dog Bite Girl,” and the mother of another friend was creatively dubbed “Deaf Mom.” I myself was a member of “The Kidney Family” after my mother donated my father a kidney when I was in middle school. We got pregnant, and I was all geared up to be identified as a mom, hopefully a pretty awesome one.