Raise your hand if you have trouble waking up in the morning.
If you’re anything like me, you’re on a constant hunt for alarm clock improvements. Something that doesn’t make you angry and turn you into a sleep jerk, but wakes you up enough that you can’t hit the Snooze button and score another hour of sleep. Try these alarm clocks on for size:
The defuseable clock is intriguing; you have to “defuse” the clock to turn off the alarm — but after one try, any chronic oversleeper would figure it out. There’s no danger! Keep on sleeping!
Sleepy Jerk rating: 1 out of 5 jerkstars.
Talk O’Clock is a user-to-user service. You input the time you’d like to wake up and, theoretically, another human gets that data and calls you to wake you up.
Sleepy Jerk rating: 4 out of 5 jerkstars. If you get a talky partner, they could totally wake you up — but you might also wake up because of a bad case of social anxiety.
Humans are supposed to sleep in 90 minute REM cycles. We’re supposed to be most wakeful every 90 minutes. Sleep Cycle uses your iPhone accelerometer to track how much you move in your sleep — and then wakes you up at the peak of wakefulness nearest your wakeup call.
Sleepy Jerk rating: I’ve used Sleep Cycle, and I’d give it 4 out of 5 jerkstars. It would probably work much better for anyone who is a better overall sleeper than I.
Japanese for “wake up,” Okite is an iPhone app which tweets embarrassing things about the sleeper — like “in a sailor suit now” — for every minute they remain asleep.
Sleepy Jerk rating: 2.5 out of 5 jerkstars. It might get you up, but I can totally see talking yourself out of caring about who knows you love to eat your boogers.
Throwing money away
This concept alarm clock asks you to put a bill in before bed time — and if you don’t wake up when it goes off, your money meets the shredder! So effectively, the money shredding alarm is asking you to commit a federal crime. Maybe that’s why it’s still just a concept.
Shooting yourself awake
The Gun and Target alarm clock forces you to wake yourself up enough to be able to have perfect aim.
Sleepy Jerk rating: 5 out 5 jerkstars. Based on the number of bad reviews, not only will this alarm clock wake you up, you’ll be too frustrated to go back to sleep.
What works to get you out of bed on your most impossible mornings? Do share; we could all use the wisdom.