Posted byThe entire Offbeat Empire is celebrating Something on a Stick Day today, so every post is going to be about something… on a stick.
In keeping with our day’s theme, I asked our Facebook friends how they reacted when they peed on a stick and found out they were pregnant! Three hours later, there were over 75 reponses… here are a few that had to be shared. While not all Offbeat Family stories start with peeing on a stick, some do — and here they arrrrrre:
Brittney M: I think I may be one among many whose first thought was, “oh sh*t!” Followed closely by “WTF NUVARING?!”
Alexandria M: First pregnancy I used a snack excuse to go into a grocery store and buy a test, then test right there in their bathroom. I think by the time I got back out to the car to tell my husband it was all tears, laughing, nodding, and showing the stick. Second pregnancy I was at home, and was shocked because a friend had told me she had a feeling I was pregnant before I even suspected, so I tested. The only words I could get out were “holy s&*t!” multiple times, and lots more laughter! Yay for those sticks, I tell you!
Laurie A-W: “Fuck!” was the first word out of my mouth when I saw the positive results. It was totally unexpected! (very long story) Then I went out to the living room and said to my hubby, “I’m fucking pregnant!” He was thrilled. It took me a lot longer to get there but I eventually did!
Natashia S: We were trying, and I had a dream right before the test in which the test was positive. The dream convinced me that I didn’t want to get pregnant anymore and I had decided that I was ok with the inevitable negative (we were on the verge of fertility tests/measures, and I’d had an awful lot of negatives leading up to that point). So I freaked the hell out when it came up positive! Hubby was soo happy, I was shell shocked and wanted a drink.
Jennifer H: Disbelief. After trying on our own for 3 years, we got pregnant on our first ovulation induction cycle. I stared at it for several minutes without much emotion. Then I went to tell my husband, who had been asleep just long enough to be totally zonkered. He wouldn’t wake up!!! So my best friend ended up being the first to know!
Christine V: first time (15 yrs old): This means I am positively not, right? Second time: crapcrapcrapcrap. Third time: I am totally not. This is wrong. :::faints::: Fourth time: Oh….that’s why I want Subway. Fifth time: This is wrong… it says I am not. (holds up to light) Oh… shit man, and I just got skinny! Yes, I am a mom to 5. It is wonderful. Sometimes.
Monique C: First: Oh crap. I’m wearing mismatched Hello Kitty socks on purpose and I’M going to be a mother. Like… I CHOSE to wear these two socks, I picked them out and thought “Yes, these are perfect!”. How did I think I was ready for this?! Second: Wow, that was quick. Third: YES! Wait… *counting in my head* A due date in May? Oh no, Gemini. Please be a boy, please be a boy! {He was, and also a Taurus.} Fourth: {my first unplanned pregnancy}: Wait. What?! HOW DRUNK WERE WE? THIS HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH ME! Fifth: Hooray! This is it! Our last baby! Sixth Holy fate much?! (My fifth pregnancy resulted in an early miscarriage, and when my husband and I decided we would try again, I was already pregnant and our son is now due in May. I still don’t think I’m over that shock.)
Naomi C: Went through 7 rounds of IUI to get pregnant. I tested at home and got a faint positive almost immediately. I started shaking and crying and opened the bathroom door. My husband was waiting. I said, “It has two lines! Two lines!” His immediate response was, “What does that MEAN?!” We had a good laugh.
Yvette M: First pregnancy. I was out of town on a girls trip and expected my period that weekend. It never came and I couldn’t get home fast enough to take a test. I was in shock. It was the first month we tried and I couldn’t believe I was pregnant. I looked at the test with a confused look on my face telling my hubby “This is why people can’t read these things!” It was the faintest little line but there it was! Current pregnancy. So excited! We had a miscarriage over the summer and it was hard. Months and months later of trying we finally got it right. I called him right away and said “We did it!” We couldn’t be happier.
Jo C: I was in the navy. We all had to do a Drug screen, and my drug screen came up positive for baby.
You can read more right here on Facebook. If you missed the original post, leave your story in the comments below — we’d love to read it!
I would have snorted wine out of my nose had I been drinking wine!
I’m trying so hard not to burst out audibly laughing in my cubicle right now…
Love that. Made me giggle. Although, what the F are they doing performing pregnancy tests when they’re supposed to be drug testing?
It really doesn’t add much to the workload to throw that in the battery of drug screens. And in the military that is something you would want to know right away for the health and well being of mom and baby. Plus its a good way to catch people trying to pass off others piss as their own, because if a dude tests positive for baby….welll…..
Then they might have testicular cancer….no lie it happened and circled the net and luckily the guy is ok.
….or they are being sketchy about their urine, but still.
I’m not so much concerned about the workload, more the idea of testing someone for pregnancy (or anything else) without telling them or asking their permission 😐
As I understand it, women know they are being tested… so it’s not a secret. I think it’s a mandatory thing, a requirement that goes along with being in the military, although that might have changed now? I’m not sure. Is there’s a military lady in the house who could confirm (or deny)?
Yah they know its being tested, or they should if they read all the paperwork involved with it and the things they sign off on being in the military. My Fiance is the substance abuse officer for his unit and it’s SOP to test for pregnancy in urine analysis.
My most recent one, I knew within a week of the deed that I was knocked up, but the tests kept saying negative. Finally, on the day I was supposed to start my period, I went to Walmart, bought a test and took it in the bathroom at Walmart! It was a faint positive! Hubby was at work, and I had the car so I went and bought him a fatherhood book, went to Planned Parenthood, got the official yes, and folded the paper into his book.
When he got off work I took him to lunch and gave him the book. He was like “WHAAAT?” And hugged me right in the Arby’s. It was the day before father’s day too!
Holy Moses I made the cut! LOVE the stories!
I saw the double line and said “holy shit” out loud to the dog. It was the first time we’d tried! Ikept it to myself all day and when hubs came home, I put a hamburger bun in our oven and told him it was broken and go check it out. He was all, wait there’s a hamburger bun in here…OHMYGOD THERES A BUN IN YOUR OVEN RIGHT!!! Har.
that is an adorable way to tell him! If I did that my hubby would blame it on our toddler and not get it at all! LOL
This is pretty much the best story ever
Ha! My first reaction was to say the exact same thing to one of our dogs!
After nine months of trying, and thinking of all the witty ways I could tell my husband, my reaction alone in the bathroom was “Huh. So that’s a thing now.” Then I came out and told my husband “Let’s not panic or anything, but I’m pregnant.”
I love this too much to not-comment 🙂
First pregnancy was shock and anger and fear and wonder all mixed into one. But mostly fear. Subsequent pregnancies have been fraught with frustration and disbelief, since I’ve been unexpectedly pregnant so many times and never carried a child to term. Turns out my hormonal birth control was correcting a hormone imbalance that meant the HBC was making me fertile enough to get pregnant but not enough to carry. Lesson learned? Dollar store pregnancy tests are just as accurate as the $16 ones, and if you’re headed to the ER for any reason, take a pregnancy test first because otherwise they charge you $200 to pee on a stick at the hospital.
Whoa, that’s kind of crazy about the hormonal birth control. I didn’t even know that was possible! Glad you figured out what was going on; nothing is more frustrating than having no idea what’s going on with your body.
After the test came up positive, I went and got the camera to wake up my husband. I said, “Hey! Wake up!” and while he groggily rolled over to me I yelled, “I’m pregnant!” and then I snapped a photo and presented my husband with the book “Darth Vader and Son”. We spent the next few minutes sitting on the bed. He kept asking me if I was okay. I was shaking the entire time, and doing my awkward laugh uncontrollably while I said, “Oh man…I’m going to be an adult. Like…an ADULT adult. Oh man…”
Oh my god, I love that book! I’m super excited that there’s a Luke and a Leia version – since my husband has to miss most of our ultrasounds, I plan on finding out the sex first and then buying whichever version is appropriate and giving it to him. He’d be super tickled, I know. (The Vader’s Little Princess isn’t out for a few weeks, but I’ve got some time yet.)
We also did a lot of the “Grownups. We have to be grownups now. How do we do that?” 🙂
Oooh, having a camera at the ready before you tell your SO – love it! Definitely going to steal that idea!
I woke up at 5 am to my sick cat attempting to pee on my feet/bed. So after chasing her to the litter box and having a little cry about possibly losing my bffcat and having a negative pregnancy test a few days before I had a weird compulsion to go pee on a stick again…and there it was! Positive! I went in and woke up my husband to show him and then took the day off work to revel in the good news and take my crazy cat to the vet for the billionth time. Not only did we get good baby news that day but it turns out she didn’t have lymphoma after all!
I made my husband look at the test. We have a home gym in the basement that also has a powder room in it, so I just stopped exercising when he brought the test in (he went to the store). I just went in the powder room, peed on it and set it on the sink and told him to go look at it. I got back on the weight bench and started doing some lifts. he goes in two minutes later, comes right back out and yells “stop lifting weights, you’re pregnant.”
I didn’t want to post on FB because then my entire friends list could read it! We were trying (and by “trying”, we really meant “stop purposefully preventing pregnancy” – we figured that it would take us a while) for just a couple of months. I had taken one the previous month and gotten a negative result and then a somewhat late period, and so went on a pot-clouded camping trip and a vodka-soaked Lady Gaga concert (oops). My usually very regular period wasn’t arriving on schedule again, but I expected another negative result and that the irregularity was due to going off of BC. I took it in the bathroom when I had to pee while my husband and I were watching Mad Men DVDs. I guess I should have made it special and told him at a better time, and not just walked, glassy-eyed, into the living room holding the pee-stick with Don Draper swilling scotch in the background, but I just couldn’t wait! We were both a little shell shocked and excited. It was fun to have a secret at the Dead Weather concert we went to that night! It turns out that I actually was pregnant when I took that first test – it took us literally a week of unprotected sex to get pregnant. I was really nervous about the alcohol and pot I’d consumed while I didn’t think I was pregnant, but thank goodness my doctor and later my midwife put me at ease. (Everything was fine, btw!)
I didn’t drink, but had gotten a TATTOO while I was 3 weeks pregnant! I felt like I was, but had just gotten a negative test (I usually show up positive by 3 weeks) so I got the tattoo to make me feel better. Then a week later… positive test!
OMG!! This was so me only 2 weeks ago! had a tattoo appt the weekend I was supposed to get my period and took a test the morning of and came up negative. Went ahead with the tattoo, but 3 days later still no period. Peed on a stick and came up positive! I freaked and googled the heck out of “tattoo while pregnant.” This was after 14 months of trying so I was SURE it would just be another month of negatives!
I’m curious, what’s the risk of getting a tattoo while pregnant? I can see how it wouldn’t be ideal from a risk of getting viruses point of view but is there any direct risk to the foetus?
The tattoo could become infected, which would be bad for the baby. I assume bc of meds that you’d have to take, or if the baby also got the infection.
My husband and I were not trying at all. We were trying to prevent having kids, so finding out I was pregnant was a huge surprise at 4AM when I was peeing on a stick to reassure myself that my period would come eventually…well, still waiting! She’s due in May.
In the time between when I would have conceived to finding out, I’d been drunk twice, drinking at least a glass of wine every day, ridden my motorcycle all over the place (which in of itself isn’t harmful, just riskier), eaten virtually everything on the prohibited list, and my favorite:
Dumped sulfuric acid into my new lead-acid motorcycle battery and installed it, as well as some other adventures with caustic chemicals that are motorcycle related.
So far I’ve had a very healthy, “easy” pregnancy and all signs point to a healthy baby. Thank goodness!
I was 6 months along when I found out (irregular cycle, marathon training, and strong denial all factored in), and my first thought was about how many times I’d gotten drunk (maybe 4 times in the 6 months), not including the social occasions where I had had more than my usual 1 glass of wine per night. Not to mention that on my honeymoon (which was the 12th week of my pregnancy, unbeknownst to me), I pretty much spent the whole time stoned, went jet skiing, ate my body weight in raw oysters, the list goes on…
My son is now one year and he’s perfectly healthy and ahead of the curve as far as development. My pediatrician, when I grilled her about how much damage I may have done, was completely unconcerned – she said that based on what she’s seen, you have to be a really heavy drinker/drug user (like, drunk every single night heavy) to cause problems.
We started trying to get pregnant in August 2012. It seems like all of my friends who want children have had fertility issues, and I’m overweight, so I really thought that we were just starting the year of trying before we had to seek fertility support. One period came and went, and I took a test that came up negative 35 days after the beginning of that period. Seven days later, October 21, still no period, but my cycles are long, so I wasn’t crazy late. My husband had to go to work early, and I was along in the apartment, and I thought I was taking a test to confirm that I wasn’t pregnant, just stressed out and late. When the second line started appearing, my first thought was “What the fuck is this?”
We were on our 4th cycle of trying, and that night we were supposed to go to a live Rocky Horror Show with our good friends. For some reason I thought it would be a GREAT idea to test that night before we left, and holy s***, there was a faint line!! My husband was playing guitar on the couch and I went “uh, I think there’s a line…” and he went white! I then had to get dressed up in my skanky nurse costume and go pretend like nothing had happened! Luckily the bar it was at was so crowded that I didn’t need to make up an excuse for not drinking, which would have been realllly obvious to my friends. I don’t think my husband and I even talked on the way there in the car because we were so shocked! I made him go buy me another pack of tests on the way home and I think I peed on 15 over the next week before I believed it!!
We had been trying casually for a few months after I went off birth control with no success and a couple false hopes from late periods, when unexpected financial and underemployment struggles made us decide to stop trying…but I was still really sad a couple weeks from then when I got a negative on another late period. That next month we actively “family planned” to not do the deed when I was ovulating… This time when my period was late I waited lots of days because I was convinced it was like all the other times and “we were trying NOT to, right?”. ‘Not a morning person me’ couldnt sleep thinking about it one morning and got up at 7am. In a blur I left the door slightly ajar and the cat eventually pushed into the bathroom…me: (with my free hand swinging) “hey I’m peeing on a stick here-get out”…which just intrigued her more I think because she sat, staring, directly in front of the toilet. Cue me looking down and realizing it was already reading positive and thinking: “what? I haven’t even put it on the counter for it’s required 3 minutes!” and then whisper screaming because my husband was still asleep: “holy sh….oh my gee…(cat’s name) I’m pregnant! You’re going to have a sibling” …followed by me literally scooping my cat up and hugging her while still on the toilet. I tried to wake my husband up gently by softly telling him to put his glasses on-to which he replied: “wha? …Why? (grumble) No…tired…ugh, what is up? (Bigvpause) wait! Are you freakin pregnant?!” (Sits bolt up right in bed)
I knew two days before I tested. I bought the tests the day after I “knew” and took them the following morning. I can only describe it as total and complete calm and serenity – which I don’t think I’ve ever felt before in my entire life.
It was the day after our wedding, we had unprotected sex once about 2 weeks before the wedding – as a “why not, we’re not going to get pregnant on the FIRST try!?!”. But I felt weird that whole wedding week (got married at city hall, so it wasn’t a huge stressor). We came home, I took a test and there was the faintest line ever that we used a flashlight and a “is it or isn’t it?”. I couldn’t stop looking at it and speculating.
The next day I took a digital test that also came out positive – my DH was on skype with his brother in Switzerland, and I set it on the desk, he just gave me a big smile. Then I took 3 more tests just in case! LOL, it was a whole week before my period so I was pretty skeptical. I just remember feeling surreal and excited.
It wasn’t until the dr appt when the nurse took my sample and later ran down the hall saying “it’s confirmed, you must have a sensitive body!” that it hit us. We both just had the biggest smile on our faces exiting the med center…
I threw the test on the floor in shock.
I’d only tested because we were going to a party the next day and I wanted to make sure I could have wine because I’d had a FEELING but was sure I couldn’t possibly be pregnant.
I freaked; my husband handled it much better. When I told him, he did a little dance and said “sweet!”
With my first pregnancy, I got pregnant on the first try and didn’t believe it. I took one test, with a faint line, and then another one a week later that was definitely positive. I still couldn’t believe it, to the extent that it became a huge joke between me & my partner. It took me a long time to feel kicks or show with that pregnancy, so at the 20 week anatomy scan, my partner said, “Now do you believe you’re pregnant?”
Subsequent pregnancies have confirmed that I just get knocked up really easily. With my miscarriage this summer, the test was not eventful. With this current pregnancy, I knew I was pregnant right away, but I had to wait until I was far enough along that it would show on a pee-stick.
We had been trying for only a month when I got called for a job interview at a company I had been courting for a good 8 months – long enough that we had given up on the job change and switched focus to baby making. The interview went great! But we weren’t holding our breath that they would hire me, so proceeded with trying and charting. My chart was textbook: ovulation dip at day 14, temperature spike, implantation dip and spotting at day 10, triphasic chart… I kept putting off peeing on a stick because a) I KNEW, and b) I felt like I should have plausible deniability around the whole job offer thing. So we actually confirmed at the 9-week dating ultrasound (job offer took another month or 2) and never did pee on a stick. Even though I KNEW, a part of me still thought it was all in my head until we saw the squirmy little blur on the screen. Then our reaction was “omg… Shit just got REAL…”
I got the positive test while husband was at work, so I found a tiny little calendar, counted off 38 weeks, and circled the date. Put it in a tiny card and wrote, “Guess what we’re doing on November 20th?” Inside: “Having a baby!” He starting crying. In a good way!
Target bathroom. Seriously.
I KNEW in my heart of hearts that I was pregnant, but I figured I’d buy the economy pack of tests at Target. Then, because I can’t wait, and already HAD to pee, I decided to try in the Target bathroom.
Postitive.
The cashier looked at me funny when I went BACK through the line with a onesie, saying “I’m going to be a mom!”. She played it cool and said, “oh, when did you find out?” and I was like, “oh, pretty recently,” even though she knew it had been like 4 minutes ago. HA!
We’d been trying about 2 months, and my period was 3 weeks late but I’ve always been irregular so I figured it was just that. Then, my husband’s grandma passed away, and we had to put down our beloved cat when she went into sudden liver failure, all in the space of about 10 days right before Valentines Day. So, we skipped doing anything on Love Day. The next evening, I took attest because my period still hadn’t started. Just the one line came up right away, so I figured I wasn’t pregnant still. Later that night, I went to pee and happened to glance into the trash can by the toilet. There were suddenly TWO lines there. I yelled for my husband, and when he came in, thinking there was something wrong, I shoved the test into his hand while I still had my pants around my ankles. All he could say was, “Are you sure???” And all I could say was, “There’s someone IN THERE!!!”
These are great!
First: In the bathroom at work on my lunch break because, even though I was on effing birth control pills I knew SOMETHING WAS NOT RIGHT and once I got the “wait…. could I be?” thought in my head I HAD TO KNOW. That of course was the night of an epic bridge auto accident and it took me 3 hours to get home to tell spouse. After a week of tears & wibbling we came around to the sudden acceleration of plans, and jumped in and it was great. 🙂
Second: Opposite of first – SUPER planned with charts and graphs and all o’ that. Went through 3 months of nothin’ at first… I bought the little bare bones tests on amazon in bulk and went through tons in that time! Got the first faint positive while we were traveling overseas in London, which made the vacation away-from-toddler at home with grandma all the more awesome.
I was trying to conceive for 4 yrs, and finally chose to go through IVF. After our 2nd cycle with IVF, I had a routine hormone blood test during the 2 week wait on New Years Eve. I also convinced my boyfriend to get a pregnancy test, but we agreed to eat breakfast first before testing. While eating, the nurse contacted my boyfriend with the results on the bloodwork and because it was New Years Eve, she went out of normal protocol and also tested for pregnancy. The results came back positive! My boyfriend found out before I did! He got off the call, was crying and smiling widely repeating over and over “you’re pregnant!”.
Still took the stick test afterwards because I couldn’t believe it. Due with my 1st this Sept 🙂
We weren’t trying. My partner and I were in the middle of production for a film and were constantly stressed. He suggested I take the test after noticing my period hadn’t come in a month. I kept saying it’s probably the stress, and I’m sure I wasn’t. When the two lines came out, I started shaking. He took it better than I did and asked me what was wrong. I told him “It’s not everyday that you find out you’re going to be responsible for another human being when you’ve barely gotten your own shit together.” The initial shock and fear wore off quick though, and we only have a month left til we meet our baby. 😀
Exactly one week ago today (:D) my breasts felt unusually tender for the time of month, so after I got home from work I took a pregnancy test, not expecting a positive result. My and my husband’s response? “….Huh.”
It’s been a week and we’re still trying to process this life-changing information 😀