After we sign the paperwork, where do we go from here? Do we drift apart as adults and friends usually do or stay involved in each other's lives? Can we ever get past "what might have been" and move on to "this is where/who we are now"?
This is Offbeat Home's archive of friendships posts.
A dear friend of mine was all set to get married after getting engaged earlier this year, but recently ended the relationship and called off the wedding. I reached out to let her know I was there for her, and to let me know if I could do anything for her. But I just don’t know what to say to comfort her, especially as I plan my own wedding. Has anyone else experienced this? I’d love your insight on how I can help her out during this extremely trying time.
I'm working hard to disassociate my happiness and self-esteem from my appearance completely: I don't want my mood to depend on how I look. The problem is, I really want to be able to affirm my friends and family in the way I want to be affirmed — in ways that recognize their inner awesomeness, and are completely disconnected from how they happen to look like on the outside that day. Usually I'm not stuck for words, but with this I'm stumped. How do you go about affirming people in ways that don't reference their physical appearance?
My former boss (who I'm still on excellent terms with) put the call out to fill my old position. A good friend of mine applied for it. The problem is: I have serious doubts about her ability to do my former job, and I think my old boss should know that.
I am never quite sure how to introduce Steve to others. So to make everyone else more comfortable I usually say "This is my friend, Steve." It's just easier that way. As the relationship moves forward — be it a coworker, new friend, neighbor, etc — eventually they learn who Steve really is. Steve is my ex-husband. And after five years of this we STILL hear how "weird" it all is.
As a non-theist pagan, I felt like I was seriously missing out on that fellowship and community that my dad has found at his church. It's hard to find that when you don't belong to a mainstream religion. Or if the local branch of the mainstream religion you belong to is full of assholes, because who needs that? But here are the options that may prove helpful if you feel like this is missing from your life.
My friend delivered the devastating news that she had been diagnosed with cervical cancer; it was invasive upon discovery, and she had had an emergency hysterectomy. She was dealing with tremendous shock at the diagnosis and the necessity of facing mortality at the mere age of 31. When she began researching surrogacy, I volunteered myself.
This past June, I graduated from college and came back home from being out of state for four years. My same-age friends have either moved elsewhere, gotten married and blown me off, or live in different places, so I am constantly spending time by myself or trying to fit into age groups that I can't fit into. How do I cope or make friends in that awkward, post-college, pre-long-term-plans phase?