My best friend lives 5½ hours away and we love to visit. Every time we visit, though, the house is a complete disaster. I don't know how to approach her about this because I am not comfortable staying there anymore unless it's cleaned up. I love her like a sister, we've been friends for 12 years, and I don't want to stop visiting. But I don't want a fight because we have different priorities. Anyone have advice on how I can broach the possibly-sensitive question of asking her to clean up before I visit?
This is Offbeat Home's archive of friendships posts.
There are a couple of clichés that get that way because they’re so damn true. Some that have been true for our family of two is that friends are the gods’ apology for families, friends are the family we choose for ourselves, and friends walk in when everyone else walks out. My patchwork quilt of family is mostly made of beautiful friendships, and I wouldn't have it any other way.
One of my best friends has been going through a tough time for a while now. She also happens to live over 200 miles away. How can I be a good, supportive long-distance friend at a time like this, when popping in to help for an evening isn't possible?
I've never had a great time of making friends at all in my life. I had a bit of a meltdown about this recently, thinking about how I have so few friends. I lamented, "I wish I was just at the stage of my life where I didn't care anymore. Where I didn't measure personal success by how many friends I have."
At first glance, my house doesn't look particularly offbeat. Look a little closer, though, and you'll notice the comical number of computers hiding here and there. Seven or eight bikes in the garage, corralled by a bike rack made of two-by-fours. Five cars that come and go. The duplicate cookbooks and kitchen utensils, the camping equipment lining the walls in the garage. And, of course, the five bedrooms that are definitely occupied by six adults.
I'm 32 years old and broke up with a longtime boyfriend about two years ago. At the time, half of my friends were single and only a couple of them were getting married. Two years later… all of my good friends are married or in long-term relationships and I'm still single. How do you stay happy being single in a world of families, wondering if it will ever happen for you, and feeling like a sudden outsider?
I didn't know what to expect from friends and family, and strangers when I announced my divorce. I had kept many of my relationship "issues" away from family — not wanting to harm our image as a couple should we work things out — so it came as a surprise to some of them. Though, for the most part, family and friends (especially) have been supportive, there is a certain rhetoric around divorce that really started to bother me.