Gifts for only the most black-hearted bad asses

December 6 | meganfinley

Welcome to the forth edition of the Offbeat Home gift guides. We hope you've found our last guides helpful — gifts for people you like but don't know that well, gifts for geek, and gifts for adventurers who won't tell you what they need.

This gift roundup was pretty fun to put together, because while I may be a total nerd, I definitely have a dark soul. So welcome to my roundup of gifts to get your black-hearted, goth, horror-obsessed, bad-ass, or just totally-fucked-up-in-a-good way loved ones.

This can either be a black heart pencil holder or flower vase. Either way, it's bad ass.

Never underestimate the power of soap. I once got my friend bacon soap and she was in heaven.

Earphone cord organizer shaped like a spider? Yes please!

Some people feed zombies, some people kill zombies. If your friend is a true badass, they're total zombie killers. They'd love this.

Whiskey is the perfect drink for badasses. Therefore they will LOVE these whiskey stones, because ice melts.

What about something to put that whiskey in? The Skellington Decanter is the coolest decanter ever.

ouija pill boxFrom drinks to pills… hook 'em up with this Ouija Board Pill Box Case.

For the badass who you want to keep safe, Kuba-Kickz are the only non-lethal self defense tool available for your shoes. Quick kicks to an attacker's arms and legs can help you escape a dangerous assault. These are literally kick ass. (Wakka wakka!)

Here's another weapon-y gift, it's not only a badass looking keychain but it can also be held using the eye socket holes as a double-spiked knuckle guard! It also comes in adorable pink bulldog.

You can always make them gingerdead men cookies with these cookie cutters.

Nothing like adding a little dark decor to your buddy's living space.

How fun and twisted are these six-piece monster matryoshka/nesting dolls?

Cotton swabs might make a really lame gift, unless they're these awesome BLACK cotton swabs! Maybe pair it with these black tissues.

Our resident gothy badass (Copyeditor Caroline) recommends anything from TokyoMilk's Dark Femme Fatale Collection.

Skulls to Pay the Bills BankBlack skull bank… need I say more? It's perfect.

BOTH of their vices in one convenient flask? Your friend is going to love you and then constantly owe you a nip or a puff.

Eight goth-y literary magnets for $8. This awesome deal comes from Etsy.

Good lord, the Okay, here's the WORST and therefore BEST idea that I could find: Cards Against Humanity game is NOT for the faint of heart. From the Amazon description — "Cards Against Humanity is a party game for horrible people. Unlike most of the party games you've played before, Cards Against Humanity is as despicable and awkward as you and your friends." To see why, check out the photos over here.

Ooh, I can't wait to see what you guys come up with for your gothy, horror-obsessed, bad-ass, black-hearted buddies. So whatchu got?

  1. Cards Against Humanity is the best game possible, and totally deserves to be on this list. It's Apples to Apples for terrible people.

    29 agree
    • "It's Apples to Apples for terrible people." PERFECT description!

      4 agree
      • we refer to is as "Assholes to Assholes" ( a play on Apples to Apples)

        8 agree
    • My brother coined the description "Apples to Apples but on purpose."

      2 agree
    • They also have a Canadian version of Apples to Apples and recently released a Christmas expansion pack. I got this for both of my brothers and printed the free version from their website for me :)

      0 agree
  2. I love the heart vase! I bet it would look stunning with some deep red roses.

    0 agree
  3. I love Cards Against Humanity! So fun. That is a killer vase- I think that's going to be my winter time present to myself.

    0 agree
  4. I bought a TokyoMilk Dark Cherry Cordial Lipgloss two years ago and it's STILL my favorite lipgloss and i use it almost daily! if you have a friend who loves fancy lipgloss, this is gold.

    1 agrees
  5. I love the look of those whisky stones, they're on my longlist of "stuff to buy when I have excess cash". I gather that should the mood take you you can also heat them in the oven to warm something up.

    I do think they're whisky stones rather than whiskey stones though; a tumbler with ice is far more Single Malt than it is J.D. :D

    0 agree
  6. Cards against humanity was possibly one of the BEST party games I have EVER played. Plus there are lots of translations (which are sometimes even funnier to read). I did it with complete strangers at a boardgame meetup and it was a blast.

    0 agree
  7. After reading this, I had to buy Cards Against Humanity for our weekly Game Night. It was a HIT. So much laughter, so many things to Google, so many I'm-going-to-Hell-for-this-one's. Thank you!

    2 agree

Join the conversation

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

No-drama comment policy

Part of what makes the Offbeat Empire different is our commitment to civil, constructive commenting. Make sure you're familiar with our no-drama comment policy.

Biz owners & wedding bloggers

Please just use your real name in your comment, not your business name or blog title. Our comments are not the place to pimp your website. If you want to promote your stuff on Offbeat Bride, join us as an advertiser instead.