Feminist pastry party: Celebrating non-heteronormative relationships with baked goods! #Entertaining#baking#feminism#LGBT#party October 23 | Guest post by Chae-Bird When life hands you lemons, make rainbow sprinkled cupcakes. My good friend Matt brought this Jezebel article to my attention a few weeks ago. If you have no desire to read it or watch the video (I completely understand), the run-down is that this man leads Christian-based sex education lectures, and has some interesting ideas about how gay people have sex. Now, while I respect everyone's right to their beliefs, I personally find the belief that homosexuality is wrong, shameful, and unnatural to be abhorrent. So when I got to the part of the video in which the lecturer explained his views on homosexuality (using carrots and doughnuts as metaphors for male and female anatomy, respectively) by stating that "men were not created to sword-fight and women were not created to have pastry parties," two thoughts immediately occurred to me: Is that how he thinks gay men have sex? A pastry party sounds like a freaking fantastic idea! I invited a bunch of my queer, lesbian, bisexual, and ally friends over for a Pastry Party, where the wine flowed, cookies and cobbler were baked, and conversations about sexuality and heteronormativity were had. It was delightful… Just because we don't support dogmatic heteronormative gender roles doesn't mean we don't love aprons. Making pumpkin snickerdoodles with pumpkin spice kisses on top. Peach cobbler. Chocolate-covered cherry cookies getting covered in ganache. Butterscotch and peppermint chocolate meringues. Ponyo was pretty excited about all the food Eating and talking. Everyone went home with a cookie sampler plate. Of course, after everyone cleared out, I realized that all I'd eaten all day were cookies and cobbler… and also that "pastry party" is my new favorite euphemism for lesbian sex. Reporter Name * Reporter Email * Original text Enter the original text here. Edited text* Enter your suggested copyedit here. Notes You can add a note for the editor here. * Required information. Fix Typo Guest post written by Chae-Bird Lasped anthropologist-cum-burlesque housewife studying radiology and carving out a homestead in her Pacific Northwest backyard with her handsome husband, adorable corgi, fluffy bunny, and four backyard hens. http://www.birdheartsbear.blogspot.com PREVIOUS Work clothes that aren't made by little hungry children putting in 18 hour days NEXT Modernized Brooklyn brownstone, rich with personal history Toggle comments [ 48 ] I especially love the caption about aprons. I for one am a feminist who is happiest in an apron in the kitchen. Bravo! (Also the goodies look yummy.) 14 agree Reply Me, too! Even though he doesn't appear in these pictures, Mr. Bear was as the party, washing dishes as we dirtied them. 2 agree Reply I feel like we could have an entire discussion on how aprons can be empowering. Although wht I really want is a kitchen lab coat to forgo the flour hand prints on my ass. 6 agree Reply Oh my god, that's an amazing idea! Hmmm…I have a lab coat that I don't use in the lab…and a pair of goggles I wear while chopping onions… 3 agree Reply I'm stealing your new favourite phrase!! 7 agree Reply meeee toooo. Love it. 2 agree Reply I am saddened that there are no recipes here. Also, I now have some really big hopes that Offbeat Home will have a Christmas Cookie recipe trade about a month from now. 31 agree Reply Ooh! Christmas cookie recipe trade! This is something that has to happen! I have a ton of recipes, but I'm always looking for more! 8 agree Reply that is hilarious. also adorable (mostly the puppy and the whole concept, also the aprons, oh, and the people too). 3 agree Reply RECIPES! WE DEMAND THEM! Especially for those chocolate-covered cherry cookies with ganache — those look amazing! 11 agree Reply Okay, I posted the link to the recipe(it's from Better Homes and Gardens) in the comments. Happy baking! 2 agree Reply I'm so happy you did, that looked like the most delicious thing I've ever seen. Reply And for low-carb LGBT friends, have a carrot sword fight tournament! Go jousting with parsnips! 22 agree Reply Carrot sword fighting could lead to stews, and I can get behind a nice stew any day of the week. 7 agree Reply Look at all them sexy treats!! Also, this is the best idea ever. 2 agree Reply This is the best idea ever. Hooray for dismantling the kyriarchy via delicious sugar! And frilly aprons. The caption about the aprons gets my nomination for best caption in the entirety of the internet. 1 agrees Reply Aw, thanks! I love my aprons. I have a collection of them. It's funny because people who don't know Mr. Bear and I that well often assume that we're very traditional when it comes to gender roles and such, and that I'm the traditional housewife, and that we also must be very religious. Aprons come with a lot of baggage, it seems. 3 agree Reply I find wearing the frilly aprons over nothing or flannel helps to counteract the baggage. If you like being naked or wearing flannel that is. 8 agree Reply OMG, recipes, please! Reply Okay, I will bug my ladies about the recipes and post them in the comments section. Pumpkin cookies 3 cups flour 1 cup brown sugar 1 cup white sugar 1 cup pumpkin 1 tsp baking powder 2 eggs Mix until sticky, put one handful extra flour in bowl and mix until fully incorporated. Bake at 375 for 12-15 minutes. The tips will not brown, so watch them or the bottoms burn. 7 agree Reply Chocolate-covered Cherry cookies(these were absolutely decadent!) http://www.bhg.com/recipe/cookies/chocolate-covered-cherry-cookies/ 2 agree Reply We didn't get around to these cookies, but I think someone should…Giant Stuffed S'mores cookies! http://smells-like-home.com/2012/05/giant-smores-stuffed-chocolate-chip-cookies/ Reply Yeay! My pumpkin cookies are famous! You can also put a vanilla butter cream frosting over the tops of these that makes them amazing. 3 agree Reply Is this the recipe for the pumpkin snikerdoodles? Perhaps this deserves its own post! 1 agrees Reply I will try and get the pumpkin snickerdoodles recipe…but I'm almost certain it was a normal snickerdoodles recipe with pumpkin pie spice mixed in, topped with a pumpkin spice Hershey's kiss. 1 agrees Reply Pumpkin spice Hershey's Kiss?? Why have I never heard of this sorcery before? Is it because I am Canadian? Must. Find. Some. 2 agree Reply I found them in the seasonal section of the commissary on base, but I know you can order them on Amazon! They're delicious! 1 agrees Please tell me your next post will feature an egalitarian pleasuring party. 4 agree Reply Wow, that is…wow. Yay, we have the next party theme! 3 agree Reply For lack of another word: Wow. I'm trying really hard, but I can't seem to figure out how somebody could write "In other words, however we try, the sexual act cannot be made into an egalitarian pleasuring party" with a straight face. Can't wait to hear about scheming for the next party! 2 agree Reply This is far and away the best response to a video like that! 1 agrees Reply Well, I mean, really…how could you not have a pastry party after that? 1 agrees Reply That was definitely my first thought, too, when I heard that phrase! PASTRY PARTY FTW! 1 agrees Reply Wow, metaphor fail. Aren't metaphors supposed to help you visually and emotionally connect with a concept on a visceral level? Because I'd much rather have two carrots or two doughnuts than some bizarro carrot-doughnut combo. If I were to take that as an indication of what sort of sexuality I should support or denounce… well, you see where I'm headed. 7 agree Reply Right? There are long cylindrical doughnuts. The metaphor needn't have been so awkward… 1 agrees Reply And where would carrot cake doughnuts fit into this metaphor? Now I want to find out if anyone makes a carrot cake doughnut. 5 agree Reply Mmm, carrot cake doughnuts. Thank you! I finally no longer need to denounce heterosexuality! We can all live in harmony. P.S. if you find a place that ships them internationally, or a recipe, please post… Reply Didn't find any place that sells them, but this recipe looks awesome. http://www.tasteofhome.com/Recipes/Carrot-Cake-Doughnuts And here's a baked recipe (basically a doughnut-shaped cupcake) for those not into deep-frying. In light of this post, I love the fact that this blog is called "Straight Up Food". http://www.straightupfood.com/blog/2012/04/22/carrot-cake-donuts/ 1 agrees Reply I approve of a party that delightfully combines the ideas of food and sex. Love the pictures! Checking out your blog too Reply Yay! I love when people check out the blog! Thanks! I had a bunch of friends who couldn't make it to the Pastry Party, so I'm already planning another. It really is the perfect combination; cookies and sex. 1 agrees Reply This post cracks me up so hard! I linked it to a friend of mine and his response to "men were not created to sword-fight and women were not created to have pastry parties," was "Has this guy not met men or women?" 7 agree Reply Maybe the lecturer was actually being super liberated and insinuating that women were created to sword-fight and men were created to have pastry parties! 5 agree Reply Yes. (Very) secretly super liberal! Reply Butterscotch meringue recipe, pretty pretty please! 1 agrees Reply This post has so many of my favorite things! Feminism. Pastries. A corgi named Ponyo (!!!) and the Tardis. Thank you! 3 agree Reply I only have a few friends who are LGBT and I am still going to have a pastry party. We all love to bake, we all love each other and we all love our lady parts! Such an awesome idea, I'm into any party that the focus is love! Reply I have to say, I love the picture with the chocolate-cherry cookies, not only because they look delicious, but because, due to the Instagram effect on the photo and the fact that those cookies look totally retro by themselves, it looks like you clipped it out of a cookbook from the 70s. Reply Thanks! I do love my retro filters… Reply Join the conversation Cancel Reply Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked * Comment Notify me of follow-up comments by email. No-drama comment policy Part of what makes the Offbeat Empire different is our commitment to civil, constructive commenting. Make sure you're familiar with our no-drama comment policy.