How to build a Festivus Pole: 6' tall, aluminum, unadorned #Do It Yourself#crafts#decor#holidays#winter December 15 | Cat Rocketship FESTIVUS IS THIS WEEKEND! It's my household's most-anticipated party of the year. We drink mulled wine, air our grievances with each other, perform feats of strength, eat donuts, and then all guests must wrestle my husband before they may leave. It all happens in the cold aura of the Festivus Pole. This is how you build a pole. The right way. All these supplies are available at your local hardware store — and they'll be cheaper than Amazon, so use this list for familiarity or the odd bit you can't find in town. Gather your tools Wooden plaque White spray primer A screwdriver or power drill One aluminum (preferably) or chrome shower rod kit with flanges Epoxy: I'm a big fan of Locktite epoxy putty Prepare a space for spray painting, and prime your plaque. It's best to apply a few light coats of primer; I shoot for three. Allow it to dry thoroughly — at least an hour. Center one flange on the plaque — eyeballing it is probably fine, unless you're really awful at estimation. Drive screws through flange and into the plaque. Cut a generous hunk off your epoxy stick and knead it to activate. Tuck it inside the opening of the flange and insert shower rod. Create a precarious system to keep the pole perpendicular as it dries — for about 24 hours. CELEBRATE. Brag. Beat your chest. You have accomplished a task, and no one can be disappointed in you THIS Festivus! Reporter Name * Reporter Email * Original text Enter the original text here. Edited text* Enter your suggested copyedit here. Notes You can add a note for the editor here. * Required information. Fix Typo Cat Rocketship I was the Managing Editor of Offbeat Home for a year and a half. I have a rich Internet life and also a pretty good real life. Hobbies include D&D, Twitter, and working on making our household more self-reliant. I also draw things. PREVIOUS Choosing a charity to support this December NEXT Non-sucky Christmas songs to take back your ears Show/Hide comments [ 4 ] Hah, this is great! I'm heading to my friend's Festivus party tomorrow night (I can't wait). I'm pretty sure last year the pole was stuck into a dead potted plant, and it held up well because the pot was huge and made of clay. It's a great alternative if you have a metal shower rod and don't have paint or supplies handy at the last minute. Reply Sticking a Festivus pole in a dead potted plant is delightfully appropriate. 3 agree Reply this is full of win and there is a very good chance we will be having a festivus party at my house next year Reply I love OBH for bringing me corners of the world that I would never encounter otherwise. Merry seasonal greetings! Reply Join the conversation Cancel Reply Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked * Comment Notify me of follow-up comments by email. No-drama comment policy Part of what makes the Offbeat Empire different is our commitment to civil, constructive commenting. Make sure you're familiar with our no-drama comment policy.