Why do I need to get married just because we have a kid?

Guest post by Nikki Cupcake


From the second I knew about my son’s upcoming arrival, the same questions kept coming up, the biggest one being, “Are you married?”

After I answered no, everyone seemed to assume that my son’s father was out of the picture. To their surprise, my son’s father is very much involved.

I would just look at them and say “You know it’s possible to be in a relationship with someone, have a child and not be married, right?”

It’s not just random strangers that had this skewed view on what defined a family. My partner’s family and my family also shared the same idea. During every one of my son’s unveilings the someone would always ask, “So when are you guys getting married?”

I would just reply “Why fix what’s not broken?”

I worry for people who run and get married when they have a child, I worry that they’re rushing into something that they didn’t need to hurry. Not everyone is ready to get married as soon as they know they’re going to be a family.

Some people are ready — and that’s awesome, but my partner and I weren’t. We didn’t think were ready to have a child when we did, so why would we throw a wedding on top of that?

I felt us not getting married and rushing into things was the most mature thing to do, since we did rush into have a child.

My son lives in a very loving home with his two very loving parents. My partner and I share our lives together and now share a son. We are a family. Yet we aren’t married, nor do we plan to be any time in the near future.

Comments on Why do I need to get married just because we have a kid?

  1. Word to Stefanie. I couldn’t agree more.

    She brought up an excellent point of the “what ifs”. You have to be prepared. If you don’t want to be married, then I strongly suggest you talk to a lawyer and see what your legal rights are as a non-spouse if your partner is sick or hurt. Would you have the right to make their medical decisions if they were unable to speak for themselves? That scares me, a lot.
    You have that right to decide if marriage isn’t for you(either now or ever) but please make sure(and double sure) your family is protected. 🙁

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