After my one-marriage-gone-terribly-wrong experience, I realized that maybe, just maybe, I am not really the person who is keen on sharing personal space with anyone but my dogs. So far, so good. It doesn’t automatically imply that I am heartless and unable to have a relationship. I just really need a lot of “me” time — space and room to work hard and to be alone.
Recently, I found a great guy who is just like me and we clicked immediately. He lives some 200 miles away and we basically have a weekend relationship. I really love it that way and so does he. We don’t take it as a “phase,” though. We’re looking at it more like a perfect relationship pattern.
I do hear warning voices, though, telling me that this isn’t a “real” relationship. So I wonder… are there other people out there living in a similar weekend relationship pattern? What are the upsides and downsides in the long-term perspective? -Maggie
My situation is different from purposely creating a weekend relationship. But my partner works in the film industry, meaning that most of his work has been in Atlanta, which is about two hours away from us. So he’s usually just home on the weekends.
Sometimes I feel weird about how we’ve come to adjust to this lifestyle, especially when I see things with old couples saying, “68 years and never more than a night apart!” People have insinuated that there is something odd or less-committed about our relationship because of this, but screw them.
It took us a while to adjust, especially when he first started. But these are the things I’ve learned about having a “weekend relationship”…
It’s most important to try to be honest with your partner. Sometimes I get upset because he is exhausted and in a bad mood for the small time we have to together. Instead of huffing back at him, I explain that I want to make the best of the time we have.
And when you do get to spend time together, really spend it together. And when you’re apart make an effort to speak to each other. In our 7 1/2 years of dating, we’ve talked every night when we’re apart (save for international trips) and we always say “Goodnight, sweet dreams, I love you.” Sometimes it’s in a text because they’re rolling, but he always tells me goodnight.
Relationships in this industry usually don’t end up well, simply because of the time commitment and stress of a weekend relationship. But it’s been five years and we’re more solid than ever. This works okay for us right now, and I think that it makes our relationship, and us individually, stronger, more confident and more committed!
So there’s hope.
Anyone else with a weekend relationship (either by choice or by force) have more tips and experiences to share?