The roots of white privilege and what we must do to recognize it

I recently had an experience with myself that brought me up short and let me know that — smack! — it was time to do some more reading. Anyone who has done any form of serious healing work in their lives knows that our patterns and wounding show up again and again and again, and it is up to us to recognize the roots and continue to pull them out as best we can. One way we can find the roots is by seeing the fruits. What are we growing in our lives? What kinds of symptoms do we have that tell us about the health of our own bodies and the environments we're in? For these things to be meaningful and informative, we must look at them.

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Wait, DON'T smash the patriarchy — its pieces are seeds

Recently I've become really uncomfortable with the term "smashing the patriarchy." Not in the comfort-zone-pushing way, but in the misaligned-self-betrayal way. So I've stopped using it. Because you know who runs around smashing shit?

The patriarchy. If we look seriously at the situation, I think we find that to "smash" the patriarchy is to recreate it.

Bad Romance part 3: Demanding greater diversity in who gets a happily ever after in romance

One of the big success stories in self-publishing is romance. According to popular platform Smashwords, the genre dominates the market. With a few clicks any writer can become an author. Which makes it possible that a novel most major publishing houses and quite a few small presses would have turned down, one that hasn’t seen an editor’s red pen, or even a proofreader will wind up on Amazon more than in other genres.

There’s an argument for gatekeepers, right? Not so fast. Here's part three in this series on romance as a genre…

Bad Romance part 2: The romance genre needs better critique, not more gatekeepers

Though romance novels have always centered relationships and women, there’s no argument that issues of consent and coercion abound in the genre's shady past. Consider the conflicted relationships readers have with Kathleen Woodwiss’ The Flame
and the Flower
, a novel that is said to have started the modern “bodice ripper” romance genre. Here's part two analyzing the romance genre in books…

Bad Romance: Yes, I'm a feminist who loves romance novels (+ a Seattle event on May 8th!)

I, like a lot of romance readers and writers, wasn’t always proud to admit that the romance genre was my passion. Contrary to popular belief, it turns out many smart, creative, thoughtful, well-educated women are reading romances (and our status as houswives, or not, is beyond the point). We raise families, nurture careers, create art, and break through barriers personally and professionally without expecting to have our problems solved by a billionaire into kinky sex. We sure as hell aren’t longing to be thrown over the back of a horse and ridden away with (though if you are, I don’t judge!). Here's part one of how things are evolving in the romance genre…