Ambivalence: in which I pay $270 a year to avoid making a decision about our leftover embryos

The aforementioned pregnancy with the thousands of dollars and drugs started in a lab, with the creation of five embryos, made from donor sperm and eggs collected from my wonderful wife. Two embryos had 8-cells (the ideal), and were squirted into my uterus, and one of those grew and grew and was born a day before her due date but the day after the Pixies show we had tickets for (thanks kid! It was a good show!). The remaining three were put in the deep freeze in case the first try didn't work. And there they remain. Three embryos, conceived the same day as my daughter, frozen in time.

How to make a baby: sperm donors, IVF, and mad science experiments

Choosing a sperm donor is a little bit like setting up an Xbox avatar. You begin by deciding on the ethnicity, hair color, and eye color of the fellow whose sperm you'd like to combine with your egg to make your baby. Then you enter that criteria into a sperm-bank search engine, which returns a list of matching anonymous males who passed rigorous genetic tests and filled out detailed questionnaires. Finally, you pore through each donor profile, considering things like his height, weight, build, SAT scores, family medical history, sexual orientation, whether or not he has moles, the shape of his nose and mouth, and in some cases, his baby photo or voice sample.

1.2k

I'm trying to conceive and feel like it might not happen

The road taken when trying to become a parent is already long enough. You weigh this and that — a new house or a child? My wedding or the birth of someone greater than a piece of paper from the state? Cloth or disposable diapers, when should I start stocking up on either? And then there's fertility: even if everything checks out fine, you still have a 20% chance of conceiving a child each month.

3.3k

What NOT to say to someone struggling with infertility

At the grocery store today, I was browsing the "family planning" section. Of course, there are the things that help prevent pregnancy, but I was obviously looking at the things to help promote pregnancy. As I was reading the back of every box of "ovulation predictors" and trying to decide which was the best one, a female employee that was probably in her later 30s came up to see if I needed any help.