How “part-time parenthood” works for us
The upside of this situation is that we found out that my husband IS the better stay at home parent. This could be because he really didn’t enjoy his “on call” job very much, or it could be that he hasn’t spent the last 10 months 24/7 with a little baby happily suckling his nipples, but he is happier at home, gets more done than I ever did, and our baby is happier camper for him. Instead of me waiting for him to get home at question mark o’clock from his crummy job, he knows I will be back at lunch time for breastfeeding, then at 4:30 on the dot for more breastfeeding. We get supper on the table together, take a walk as a family, then both tackle bedtime together. Sometimes we even have time for sex.
If I could start over again I would totally be a Free Range Parent
I was the parent who kept my kids as safe as possible. Barring the few seconds I couldn’t watch my daughter as she scurried up to new heights, my kids kept their feet firmly on the ground. They never had a chance to explore and learn on their own. It could be argued that the kids might get hurt, but don’t we all take that chance? If I could do it all over again, I would try free range parenting.
Hey parent friends, I want to hang out with you AND your kids!
I am not a parent but many of my friends are. When friends started having babies, I did all the usual stuff — bringing muffins, offering to help out around the house or at least hold the baby while the parents clean up, and of course cooing over the little ones. I genuinely enjoy kids and I am happy that my friends are bringing them into my life. I know I can’t be included in everything, but I feel so sad when I hear a bunch of people I like talking about an activity that I would’ve enjoyed but wasn’t invited to because they all brought kids. No one seems to think I care, even though I’ve mentioned that I like, say, the zoo or the park, too. I have tried inviting people with their kids to my place and it’s lots of fun, but it’s clearly a grownup apartment and things wrap up pretty quickly.
“Nesting” is different when you’re waiting for an adoption
I’m not expecting. Not in the traditional sense. My husband and I have decided to adopt one or two kids from foster care between the ages of four and seven. We applied to adopt through our local government agency one year and three months ago. In that time we have done the mandatory training program, I have taken a special course on adopting children of aboriginal heritage (a large percentage of children in foster care in Canada are First Nations) and we have waited and waited for our names to move up the wait list for a home study. But just because there is no baby in my belly doesn’t mean that I don’t feel the need to make a home for my kids.
Why I love every inch of my stretch marks
I have obsessed about my weight since I was eleven. I’m not going to get into all of the years of disordered eating and self-loathing in this post, but when I look back on photos of myself, I can’t believe I thought there was anything wrong with me. I was a fox — long, lean, lithe, and curvy in just the right places. I could shimmy into tons of really cute clothes, and heads would turn. These days, you could describe me as “pillowy” rather than “willowy.”
My gay BFF wants a baby and I’m pregnant but don’t want to keep it: how do I broach the topic of adoption with him?
We had our son five months ago and have been using condoms as birth control since he was born. Much to my horror, I find myself pregnant again. My partner and I have discussed our options, and have decided we don’t want to terminate the pregnancy — but we also know that we don’t want to raise two children this close together. One of my best and oldest friends has been talking about having a baby, and he and his husband are having a hard time adopting. We’ve joked about one of our friends carrying a child for them, but didn’t think it would actually happen… until I became pregnant.
Why parenting and relationships are hard: happiness doesn’t mean feeling good
Our habitual pleasure-seeking keeps us from being able to be truly and deeply committed to our endeavors in life. Our idea that we deserve to feel good all the time, and that anything that isn’t actively making us feel good is bad and wrong and scary, makes it so we inevitably begin to resist the things we have committed to.
How to hit on moms: getting over your social awkwardness to make plans with other parents
So here’s the thing about making friends with other parents: it’s kind of hard. Every time my kid makes a new friend I am so excited (!!!) for him, but it’s also a little trepedatious for me: does this mean I have to try to make a friend, too?