Yesterday should have been a normal day. It started off that way. But instead it became a first for my eldest daughter. My daughter asked a boy to stop using profanities, and instead, he used them more and more, especially directed at her. And then he threatened her, repeatedly.
When the bus did stop, she ran as fast as she could and into my arms. Her whole body shook with fear and anger. That was the day our daughter became the victim of sexually violent language. She is ten years old. The boy was twelve. She was riding the school bus home from fifth grade.
Recently I’ve become really uncomfortable with the term “smashing the patriarchy.” Not in the comfort-zone-pushing way, but in the misaligned-self-betrayal way. So I’ve stopped using it. Because you know who runs around smashing shit?
The patriarchy. If we look seriously at the situation, I think we find that to “smash” the patriarchy is to recreate it.
I’ve just recently come to the realization that I am genderfluid. Ever since I was a toddler, I’ve been this mix of feminine and masculine, insisting on wearing fluffy dresses while playing Power Rangers. I’ve always felt too masculine to be a girl and too feminine to be a boy.
How do others in the trans and genderqueer community handle physical body changes like weight loss? Does anyone else worry their perception of their own gender, or lack thereof, could change at the end of that particular journey?
My kiddo is biologically male, but when kids ask him if he’s a boy or girl, he says, “I’m me. I’m a person.” Kids, however, don’t accept this answer and pester him to the point of tears. I don’t know how to tell him the difference between boys and girls, or if I want to tell him that there is a difference at all (besides anatomically).
How do you explain gender to a four-year-old?
Partner bashing (in my case, husband bashing, though it’s not limited to heterosexual couples by any means) is one of my biggest pet peeves. I notice it happens a lot in mom groups; women get together and complain loudly about their husbands.
I recognize the importance of venting, but is it ever too much?
I was introduced to StyleLikeU as a media platform producing “radically honest docu-style videos that give voice to role models of all body-types, ages, races, genders, sexualities, and abilities, who stand proudly outside of norms and are comfortable in their skin, disentangling style from fashion in the process.” Um, yes please. This required further investigation since it sounded fairly groundbreaking. I was absolutely not disappointed.
My daughter wanted a “fairy princess birthday party,” so I was making wands out pink glitter-glue and pipe cleaners and cutting the crusts off fairy bread while obsessively refreshing my Twitter feed for more news about the extent of Weinstein’s depravity. The invitation to her party was a photo of my daughter wearing a tutu and crown, Photoshopped to make it look like it appeared in the pages of a storybook. She loved it.
After the invitation went out, I received messages RSVPing to the party, but they also asked a question, the same one over again: “Are you okay with this?”
Why is Sansa Stark presumed weak because she is high-key feminine? And what the hell make a female character “strong” anyway? Let’s lay out Sansa’s more powerful turns and see if a dress-wearing, high-key feminine character (even in a fictional Medieval-style universe) can overcome her gender spectrum stigma. Femininity doesn’t undercut feminism, and here’s why Sansa proves it…