4.8k

I don't know what I did wrong: What should I do?

It's confusing and hurtful, to say the least. But we've all been left with self-esteem issues, too — worried that we're capable of causing incredible damage to our loved ones, without even knowing it.

I suppose there's not much to be done, other than to discuss it amongst ourselves and go to therapy. But if anybody has a great idea for helping us make peace when you don't know what you did wrong, I'd definitely appreciate it.

2.6k

Friends are the family we get to choose for ourselves

There are a couple of clichés that get that way because they’re so damn true. Some that have been true for our family of two is that friends are the gods’ apology for families, friends are the family we choose for ourselves, and friends walk in when everyone else walks out. My patchwork quilt of family is mostly made of beautiful friendships, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

13k

Family member in the middle: Being stuck between two family members who aren't talking to each other

Every adult family relationship dynamic is different. For me, our difficulty is that my older brother, who I am very close to, will not talk to our dad. My brother knows I will not cut contact with our dad, even though he feels I should. He has respect for my desire for a relationship with my dad. Still, being trapped in the middle is difficult. Here's how navigate this tricky "family member in the middle" situation…

31k

Trading a scar for an open wound: Being estranged from my mother

For years, my mother accused me of testing people and trying to see how far I could push them before they left me. She was right about that much, but she never saw the why. And neither did I. Because I was too afraid to admit that terrible truth and to give up the pleasant fiction I had created about my mother. But, like all realities, it was true whether I admitted it or not. And, eventually, even I could no longer pretend and my house of cards crumpled to the ground, leaving me alone, naked of all pretense, and cast out by my mother.