Full disclosure: I have been a mother for nearly six weeks now. I didn’t think it’d be easy, but when my pregnancy went extremely smoothly I got to thinking that maybe, just maybe, my baby would be easy and being a Mom wouldn’t be too hard. Lo and behold, there are definitely a few things that shocked the hell out of me in both regards.
Sometimes babies cry, and sometimes they cry relentlessly for hours every day. Colic, high needs, or whatever a parent decides to call it — this is a time when humankind’s coping mechanisms are put through the gauntlet. I’ve had two passionate criers, and these are the strategies that helped me be here today with 99% of my sanity.
I thought it would be like falling in love with a man, where you got a rush and butterflies in your stomach; I thought I would moon over her and love would sweep me off my feet. It never happened that way.
It all started when the pills ran out. You see, when a 4’11”, petite-in-every-place girl delivers a 10 pound baby, there is a lot of, ahem, stitching and fixing up to be done.
Normally I decline medication, but after Jonah tore into the world my doctor didn’t have to push it. In the hospital, floating on pain medicine, I was still struck by how completely unprepared I was for taking care of a baby, but I was handling it okay.
Then I went home.