Anyone would be lucky to adopt: what we’ve learned after adopting two daughters
Nobody is “lucky” to be adopted. I am told fairly regularly that my girls are lucky that we adopted them. People are usually trying to be nice, to compliment me. But something every adoptive family has to deal with on some level is that all adoptions begin with a loss. And no child is lucky to lose their first parents. Loving adoptive parents are great, but we’re not providing something extraordinary for our children. We’re providing them with the thing every child has a right to –- a loving and safe family environment. And they shouldn’t have to walk around feeling indebted to anyone for that.
My daughter is building a relationship with the mother I grew up without
Last weekend I watched my nine-year-old daughter Francesca swim in the Hudson River with my mother. This would not have been a remarkable event if I had ever gone swimming with my mother as a child. Or listened to her read bedtime stories or felt her lips on my cheek or watched her eyes widen in delight as I presented her with a hand-made Mother’s Day card. I didn’t do any of these things with my mother because I didn’t meet her until I was a junior in college.
Why having our family living in 730 square feet is our ideal scenario
“Well you’ll have to move, of course” a close friend said to me the other day when I brought up our next adoption. She said it so confidently that I hated to disagree. This is easily the number one thing that people who know us bring up when the conversation turns to kids. I’m not surprised, because when we were in the middle of our first adoption process people said the same thing, or something similar.
A stormy day family photo session at a playground
If you live in or near Seattle and haven’t tried having your photos taken by Jenny Jimenez yet, this family photo session of Offbeat Mama contributor Alissa and her compadres might just convince you to do so. If Jenny’s name sounds familiar it’s because she’s rocked Ariel’s maternity and family sessions in the past.
How tubal ligation fits into our family planning
Here I was, ready to talk to a doctor about getting a tubal ligation at twenty-three and with no children. Many doctors will not even consider doing a tubal on a woman unless she is over 30 and/or already has children; they worry that she will one day change her mind. Yet my husband and I had known for months that this was what we wanted.
Biracial lesbian seeking known donor of color
At the beginning of my journey, “brown” was at the top of my list. I wanted, as much as it was (im)possible to control, to have a baby with whom I shared a skin color. I have struggled with this desire for a brown child on and off the entire first year of my search for a known donor.
Two gay dads + twelve adopted kids = fourteen happy family members
AZ Central recently featured the wonderful story of Steve and Roger Ham, a gay couple raising 12 adopted children in a state not historically known for positive attitudes toward the ideas of gay marriage OR gay adoption.
I’m a first-time foster mom… at 53
Sheryl and her partner became first-time foster parents in their fifties. And you thought having a newborn in your twenties could be rough!