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I remember my mother walking by while I was in one of those fantastic spells in which you watch seven or eight hours of movies just because it helps life make sense (you guys did that, right?). Sometimes she’d stop and watch, and other times she’d make some kind of offhand remark. Since many a teen experiences some pretty tumultuous emotions, it might serve your relationship well to sit down and engage in some of these movies with your kid — if she or he will have you.
Even though I spent a good bit of my time pretending I lived in the ’80s and listened to punk music, I spent most of my reality living in the ’90s and listening to singer-songwriters and what would grow to become known as modern-day folk rock. When I met my best friend at fifteen, she introduced me to a couple of movies from our era that would prove to be just as good, if not better, than my Ringwald delights. These movies were the BEST when it came to making me feel like the characters just totally got me and that each movie just had to be about me and my situation, and ISN’T IT JUST SO HARD TO BE (your situation) AND IN YOUR TEENS. Because… isn’t it?!
Here are a few that you might want to watch and share with your teenaged offspring. The films could be great starting-off points for discussions about sex, drugs, love, and everything else you want to know about your teen’s life without being shady and snooping.
For the “Oh shit, I’m going to graduate school soon and I have no clue what I’ll do with my LIFE” crowd
It may be about a group of recent college graduates, but many an almost-eighteen-year-old can relate to the gem that is Reality Bites. It stars Winona Ryder and Ethan Hawke as Lelaina, a would-be videographer, and Troy, a often jobless musician, respectively. These two spend most of their time pretending they aren’t actually in love with each other, even though it’s painfully obvious that they are. I mean, Janeane Garofalo and Steve Zahn are amazing as their friends (Vickie and Sammy), but when you’re sixteen and so sure you’re in love and it sucks, nothing beats Troy and Lelaina. Lelaina is spending her time shooting a mockumentary about the foursome and their post-collegiate struggles. Troy’s not working, Vickie manages at The Gap, and Sammy’s figuring out how he defines his sexuality. There’s a lot going on here that could be appealing to your kid, and plenty worth talking about.
Talking about drugs and sex
The film Kids is definitely more drama than comedy — it was initially slapped with a NC-17 rating, and this was in 1995. Let’s just say: it gets raw.
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Kids, which was written by an eighteen-year-old, follows a group of sexually-active, drug-abusing, teenaged friends. At the time, many argued that the graphic depictions of violence, drug use and dealing, date rape, AIDS and sex aren’t realistic, but for a lot of people, they are. The cast is made up entirely of then-unknown (Rosario Dawson and Chloë Sevigny) actual teenagers — instead of someone in their early twenties playing a teen. This makes the movie even better — everything feels real. The actions of the characters in the movie are basically the stuff of many a parent’s worst nightmare, but the movie could also serve as a seriously valuable education tool if shown in the right way.
The movie to pull out when love sucks
Ok, I can’t believe I’m going to go here today, because this movie is just HUGE in my world, but you guys: if your teen is nursing a seriously broken heart, get Before Sunrise by any means necessary (it’s on Netflix if you’re a customer!). Curl up on the couch, get under a blanket, pop some popcorn, and do what you need to do, because this won’t be a film you turn off midway through to finish tomorrow.
Ethan Hawke (what? Again? Yep. My friend had a thing for him) plays Jesse, a young American traveling in Europe when he meets Julie Delphy’s French character Celine. The two hesitatingly get to know each other on a train, and end up spending one night walking the streets together in Vienna. Just so you know: that’s the whole movie — these two talking and walking, walking and talking, stopping to do a few other things, and walking and talking some more. It’s 105 minutes of some of the most perfect cinema I’ve ever seen, and the 2004 follow-up (aptly titled Before Sunset) is just as good.
Alright: I know a whole lotta you guys are in your mid-20s to mid-30s: let’s get it going. What’s your favorite ’90s dramedy you can’t wait to share with your teen-aged offspring? If you’ve already got teens: do you bond through films, or another kind of media?
SINGLES
and also a vote for The Labyrinth (although technically I think this one came out in the late ’80s) but best movie ever, nonetheless.
I totally love Singles, though I only watched it for the first time less than a year ago. I have since watched it 3 times. LOVE LOVE LOVE!! That dating video is the stuff of legend.
I so wish I had seen Kids under better circumstances. My mother had found out that I lost my virginity (I told her) and she flipped. After forcing me to tell my father (and hero), she made me watch Kids with her. Yes, some teenagers may be able to relate to this, but for a girl who lived out in the woods in Northern Canada, was in a monogamous relationship and never dabbled in drugs, this couldn’t have been further from my reality. It does, however, make me really happy to know that some people liked this movie and that it’s got a good place in their lives. I will never ever show it to my child though. Everything else on this list will be on the shelf for the little ones when they’re not so little anymore.
Before Sunrise is one of my fave movies ever, and definitely my fave love story movie.
However, I HAVE to mention Love Story (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0066011/)… I think it would appeal to the Offbeat Bride in a lot of us (they don’t get married in a church, which to her Italian Catholic father was pretty crazy lol). It is also the movie where the famous quote, “Love means never having to say you’re sorry” came from.
P.S. It wasn’t 90s or even 80s (came out in 1970) but it still had to be mentioned!
Aww, Love Story!! The same friend who introduced me to Before Sunrise & Sunset also introduced me to that, and Love Story is one of my all-time favorites.
Although it is a late 90’s flick, i’d like to throw ‘she’s all that’ on the list. One of mine and my my hubs fave movies ever!
My kid is not even four months old and I am already impatient to show her Clueless.
Dazed and confused was a big one for me and my friends as teenagers. Even though it’s set in the 70s, it could have been our lives: driving around with friends, looking for something to do, ending up in the woods at a party, trying to get awesome concert tickets etc etc.
Mallrats, Clerks and Chasing Amy were also big ones. And for some weird reason, me and my boyfriend LOVED So I Married an Axe Murderer. Must have watched it together 20+ times.
Pretty sure we are Movie soul mates.
I love so many of the films that have been mentioned here, 10 things I hate about you, Romeo and Juliet, Girl Interrupted… I have to say I have a potentially sad and pathetic love affair with Clueless haha.
But I bonded with my dad as a kid whilst watching Star Wars (the classics) and I STILL love it to this day…with a collection of over 200 DVD’s, I know they are going to be important in bringing up my children when we have them (after our wedding next year!).
Absolutely Empire Records! And did anyone mention Mad Love yet? Also, as a preteen, I was obsessed with Camp Nowhere.
Yes ALL OVER ME!! Love that movie! Also, Satisfaction amazing 80’s movie. Full of sex drugs and rock n roll!
Oh man — Reality Bites, Before Sunrise, the Breakfast Club, Freaks and Geeks. I can’t wait to watch these with my children. These movies can spark some great conversations.
Also loved 10 Things I Hate About You; my brother and I watched it over and over one summer. We still refer to it as “The Summer of 10 Things”.
my sister and I refer to movies like that as well! We had a summer of “Clueless” and “Now and Then” (which made me want to ride my bike and solve mysteries with my best friends), and another of “Ever After” with Drew Barrymore. I also spent most of the 8th grade obsessed with “Romeo+Juliet”. A “worldly” middle school friend told me that “Clueless” was based on “Emma”, and that also started a huge Jane Austen movie obsession. The stories made so much sense to me in high school, and there was the added plus of awesome historical costuming. OH, I should add that “Sense and Sensiblity” was also a summer movie. Even my dad was into that one…
I have been planning on using Kids as a learning tool for my future children when they come of age about the dangers of unprotected sex; I will also be employing Requiem for a Dream to show them the dangers of drugs. hell I may even throw in SLC Punk, poor poor Heroin Bob. D:
This article was awesome..
and I’d just like to throw it out there:
Labyrinth is also my favorite movie everrr! <3
Ever since I saw the raw and realistic movie, Kids, I was planning to use it for my future kids as a lesson in using protection when they are old enough to understand. I would like to use Requiem for a Dream to warn them about drugs; another all too realistic movie that is about drugs and what people will do to get them.
that being said, I’d like to say: Labyrinth forever!!! <3
I know it’s a 2004 movie, but Wicker Park! I was totally in love with Josh Hartnett 🙂
This is great. My husband has been collecting childrens cartoon series for our child. It actually started before we were even pregnant. Does anyone remember The Racoons or The Smogies? Kids cartoons just seem so warped these days and we decided we would rather expose her to our favourites like Fragglerock over… I am so out of the loop I can’t even name a current kids cartoon. Josie is only 4 months old but I think I will start a collection for her teenage years and it will definitly contain degrassy high. Thank you Stephanie for getting me to look ahead to the future. It may be hard to uncover some of these oldies in 15 years from now.
I have too many to list, but Heathers is at the top. I had such a thing for Christian Slater that True Romance, <Untamed Heart, Bed of Roses, and The Legend of Billie Jean are also on my list. (I am actually blushing thinking about how many times I saw Untamed Heart in the theater at 14.) The early 90s were good to Slater.
I really loved some movies as a teen, like Reality Bites (soundtrack still on rotation) and Teen Witch (first time I really paid attention to French kissing and was scandalized!) I was OBSESSED with For the Boys and nearly burnt out the VHS tape (but passed it on to my niece a few years back). I was already out of HS when Drew Barrymore became my girl-crush with Ever After, Never Been Kissed, and I discovered Boys on the Side.
Movies I am still kind of obsessed and will watch if I catch them on TV: Newsies, Much Ado About Nothing, Interview With a Vampire, Empire Records, Clueless, The Crow, Defending Your Life, Now & Then, Willow, Say Anything, Cry Baby, Joe Versus the Volcano, Girl, Interrupted, Half Baked, Romeo + Juliet, Shakespeare in Love, Edward Scissorhands, Dazed & Confused, Chasing Amy, School Ties, Benny & Joon, and the most obsessed that I use it in teaching still Dead Poets Society.
Newsies! yes!
I also loved the Last Unicorn, because although it’s not quite like most of the others listed here, I never really went through the normal teenage drama thing (it was more philosophical and religious to me), and this movie had some excellent ideas in it. It’s relaly beautiful and well written (the book is good to!). Plus it’s like the only kids movie ever that doesn’t have a perfectly happy ending…