Somewhere in the last 30 years of feminism, with the need to cook taken out of the equation, I’ve embraced gadgets. They’re hidden everywhere — not just in the kitchen. The coffee machine sits next to the bed (Why get up to make coffee? You masochist!) the freezer is in the lounge to make room for the microwave, grill, wok, two crockpots, pizza stone, and 100 kinds of cutting things including a strange gadget for making crinkle cut vegetables and a knife just for chopping herbs.
My husband has given up eating toast because we lost the toaster under the Great Appliance Avalanche of 2010. He says we don’t need any more gadgets but good business practice has taught us to identify the problem first before we try to solve it.
The problem is: The kitchen is full of gadgets. So the obvious solution is: Get a bigger kitchen…
A Day in the Life of a Gadget Addict
Me: Husband-man darling…
Husband Man Darling: *worried sigh* What?
Me: Did you know we send over 300 soda water bottles off to the recycling center every year? We’re creating a mini environmental disaster! I think we should really do something about it because precycling makes so much more sense than recycling.
HMD: You mean: We should buy another gadget?
Me: Well a SodaStream would be a great way to PRECYCLE and it would pay for itself in three months.
HMD: But we need a new satellite receiver so we can actually watch the TV — wherever it is…?
Me: I suppose we should head to Harvey Norman and look for one then…
30 Minutes later at Harvey Norman
Harvey Norman Dude: Sorry, we’re out of satellite receivers; the next shipment is in three weeks — but the Soda Stream Machines are on special this weekend!
Me: We should totally have a seventies party for your birthday so I can try out that vintage fondue set I just bought. I can do two fondues! — using the other fondue set we got for our wedding.
HMD: That sounds awesome. I’ll vacuum the lounge.
Me: That would be really helpful because I have no idea where the vacuum cleaner is kept. [Sad, but true.] I can try out that new cake recipe for your birthday too… but my hand mixer is on the blink. What I could really do with is a new cake mixer — preferably in red to match that kettle I saw at Harvey Norman this morning…
And so it goes…