Posted by
If you’re an aging unabashed Justin Timberlake fan like myself, then you surely noted the launch last week of his new home decor collaboration, HomeMint. I loves me some JT, so I registered (early even!) and took a poke around. The site is basically subscription-based home decor boutique where you can buy (mostly expensive) home accents that have been curated by JT and his interior designer/celebrity stylist pal, Estee. (Although let’s be honest here: in the world of celebrity businesses like this, the celeb in question typically doesn’t actually have involvement, other than posing for some pictures.)
I went peeking around the site to see if any of the stuff was my style, and mostly it’s not. I suppose my tastes run both louder and cheaper than most of what they’re selling, which is fine. I’m not really their target market, which I’m guessing is more, like, US Weekly readers with high-limit credit cards who want to feel glamorous by having a little JT up in their boudoirs.
Despite not quite being their demographic, I totally still entered the contest to win a trip to LA to hang out with JT and Estee. We can talk color swatches and I can try to convince them rainbows are fucking awesome. I also followed HomeMint on Pinterest, where this doozy of a pin showed up, with the caption “Encompassing masculinity”:
Blink blink. This combination of the picture and the “ecompassing masculinity” caption cracked me up so hard that I stammered on Pinterest, “Please, come have the sex with me on my raw wood manbed. That barrel is full of beer.”
Not to be outdone, my Offbeat Homies on Pinterest took it even further:
- “I made these bricks out of pure testosterone and my chest hair.” -Beck Rea
- “I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany.” -Dootsie, quoting Anchorman.
Now listen, I don’t mean to be snarky: I actually really love how Justin Timberlake has evolved his post-popstar career. (Anyone else think his tech-hipster beard at CES was braided from PURE WIN!?) That said, I do think he can do better than grey $75 pillows and raw wood manbeds. Homeboy needs to get some SPARKLY RAINBOWS up in that HomeMint situation. This is me making my HEY, JUSTIN: CALL ME face.
PS: who’s got their own caption for the “Encompassing Masculinity” photo?
I feel like JT could be all Martha Stewart with this photo:
“First I refurbished this abandoned steel mill with my good friend, Bob Vila. After doing some research I found the perfect tree to make my rough “Man Bed”. The brown and cream pillows really accent the woodness. Oh, you noticed the barrel? My bros and I had a great time brewing some beer with just a touch of orange, can’t wait to drink it with our dry aged steaks (tutorial linked!) and home grown potatoes! I think I’m bringing cement floors back. It’s durable, but refined.”
“I’m bringing cement floors back”
*slow clap*
HA! Thanks!
Seriously, what space *doesn’t* need unicorns?
And also,
“Got wood?”
I love the raw wood bed. I actually repinned it for my man, but our bedroom is pink so it needs some “man stuff” in it.
Encompassing Masculinity: It’s only manly if it’s made out of hard wood.
WHY is the THIS button not working? I need it, right now! XD
It’ll be back soon!
I thought the same thing! THIS x1000 hahahahah!
I just imagine splinters in painful places if things get frisky. Ouch.
I’m just concerned about the far-reaching implications of my like for the “masculinity” pictured above. WHAT DOES IT MEAN.
I was so disappointed with the Home Mint thing for a couple of reasons.
First, the other “Mint” sites work on a flat-price scale. $30 buys you everything. And while I’d still find that a lot for a throw pillow…
Second, when I saw the previews of what turned out to be art prints, I really thought they’d be the throw pillows. So I was like “Yay, faux urban street style home accessories!” But no.
“Welcome to my brooding room. May I offer you some dramatic lighting and a tormented expression?”
“I am a lumberjack AND a distiller. Impressed?”
Ay, girl.
I DIE.
Totally LOL-ing so hard at work I’m tearing up. That picture! Pure awesomeness!
“I put a flower and a perfume bottle on your side so you can feel at home in my raw wood manbed. Join me under the burlap duvet.”
HA!! I didn’t even notice that.
I’ll be honest that bed made me squee. The setting and accessories are clearly trying too hard but that raw wood most def had my heart going. Then again I’m the girl who annoys her hubby every time the Dr. Pepper 10 commercials come on by screaming yes when he asks the ladies if they are enjoying the film.
everything about this comment! Why must Dr. Pepper tell me their delicious soda isn’t for me? I just like the raw wood because it looks like it would be fun to nail random decorative things to it overtime, like a bed-bulletin-board!
This!! It’ll be like when I was 5 all over again! (I stuck stuff all over that headboard!)
The cement floor isn’t intentional. That room used to have carpet, but eau du raw testosterone melted it.
“My carpet fled in fear of my raw masculinity.”
It crawled away in utter terror, lol!
There’s in joke in here about carpet as slang for lady bits, but I’m giggling too hard to make it coherent…
I’m the one in my relationship who likes industrial/raw spaces, so I don’t hate this as much as I feel like I should (though something’s bugging me about it–probably the barrel). However–and this isn’t a caption, but it still bears mentioning–all I can think of when I look at it and think “encompassing masculinity” is Monty Python’s Lumberjack song.
Do you think Justin wore high heels, suspendies and a bra while cutting down those trees?
“I deter potential squatters by making it look like someone’s already squatting here.”
“In just seven days / I can make you a ma-a-a-a-an … “
That picture + all the above comments made me laugh so hard.
Sorry JT … all I want to do, is throw a big paisley-gypsy quilt on there in bright blues and greens, with a ruffly edge… and have some nice colour co-ordinated curtains to soften that steel door in behind … but that’s not very manly, I suppose.
I want my room to totally look like that. I adore exposed brick, and the bed is freaking cool 🙂
shouldn’t Bruce Campbell be in this photo, wearing Old Spice?
Why yes, I WAS born in a barn.
This. All I have to say.
Coffee out the nose hurts! That’s hysterical!
OMG so does orange juice… I hope I didn’t just break my laptop…
Latecomer, but “Behind those doors is my masculinity. I had to create this emperor-sized raw wood bed to encompass it. The bed is made out of a 300 year old oak tree I chopped down myself. Any other type of wood would be too weak to hold my masculinity back.”
Also, the Lumber/Jack video is amazeballs. “Justin TIMBERRRR! Lake.” WHAT.