Roll around on the bed with your partner for an immediate mood boost
A while ago I was feeling overwhelmed, as I often do. That particular time, it was about wedding planning and how much stuff we had left to do. My now-husband looked at me very seriously and said, “I just changed the bedsheets and they feel awesome. Would you like to roll on the bed with me?”
How to have hard conversations like a pro
As an attorney, a lot of my job is helping people have hard conversations. Over years of facilitating these tough conversations, I’ve come up with some steps that make them more productive and less painful. These aren’t just good for “legal” conversations — they can work for anything from talking about moving cross-country for a job to planning a birthday party!
Coping with a partner’s (undiagnosed) depression
My partner of two years has been struggling with patterns of feeling moody, withdrawn, and overwhelmed. He’s recently admitted that he thinks he might be depressed, but he is still reluctant to see a doctor or therapist to figure things out. I want to be there for my partner, whom I care about deeply, but at what point do I need to step back and look out for my own emotional well-being? I’d appreciate any advice from those who have helped a friend partner with depression or had to encourage someone to seek therapy.
Why being in an interfaith relationship rocks
Before my husband and I got married, both sides of our families expressed a little concern about how we were going to navigate the waters of an interfaith relationship. Everyone in his family is Catholic. Just about everyone in mine is Jewish. People kept insisting that it would be so difficult for us — and just think of when we had kids! I have to say, I have found being in an interfaith relationship awesome for so many reasons. Here are a few…
Masturbation and my relationship: How I stopped worrying and learned to love myself… despite living with my partner
We’ve talked about masturbation on Offbeat Home and Offbeat Bride before. We’re familiar with solo sex here. But what if you no longer live solo? “Easy,” I thought when thinking about how my sex life would change when my boyfriend and I finally moved in together. “Sex whenever/however/wherever we want. This is, as far as I can tell, the only reason anyone moves in together at all ever.” And more or less, this has proven true.
Except sometimes… I want, and he doesn’t.
And other times… I want very specifically to do my thing alone.
5 things nobody told me about changing my last name
I was not prepared for having a new name. It was a very difficult decision for me, and though I chose to give up my last name in favor of my partner’s, I had a full blown identity crisis in the months after the wedding. I found myself constantly saying, “Nobody told me about this.” Here are a few things that I discovered, just to further inform those of you who are contemplating the “big switch.”
How do you keep up communication in a relationship when you hardly see each other?
Describing my relationship as “night and day” takes on a more literal tone when I am awake during the day and sleep at night while my fiance works overnight and sleeps during the day. It could seem that our communication could struggle in a relationship like this, but the truth is we maintain very open communication with each other; we just have to utilize methods available to us. So how do we “make it work” as the fabulous Tim Gunn is known to say? Technology!
The four-hour trip to the bank that reminded us about what was REALLY important
All the while we were dating, my (now) husband and I kept or finances completely separate, but after a long talk about money, we decided we at least needed access to each other’s bank accounts. My husband banks at Navy Federal Credit Union, and the nearest branch is four hours away. When we finally did make the trip to his bank, it was one that would change our lives and forever change our priorities.