The pain that comes with unexpectedly losing your relationship with a child
Any kind of grief is incredibly difficult to write about — putting words to paper makes everything that much more real. My wife and I recently “lost” two little girls — they’re still very much alive, but we’re no longer part of their lives. Victoria, my wife, was their nanny.
Breastfeeding without the milk (using the Supplemental Nursing System)
I waited for my breasts to change the nine(ish) months I was pregnant — to grow or change in some way. I knew that they didn’t always get larger during pregnancy, but I never really experienced anything at all in the way of breast changes. The only time I remember any breast-related pregnancy symptom was having tender nipples once or twice — it was uncomfortable, but secretly I was cheering on the inside because I was worried about the lack of changes. One more than one occasion I did wonder out loud if I would have milk production issues since my breasts were not showing any indication that they would be up to the task.
“Which restroom should I use?” Challenges facing transgender children in public schools
The absurdity of it never fails to strike me — my child can’t attend public school because he has no place to pee? The intent behind forcing a seven-year-old boy into the girl’s restroom can only be to shame, and this shaming carries with it a violent hatred that has broken bones, taken lives.
So you just found out your teen is gay? Rule one: don’t freak out
My parents “discovered” that I might be gay when I was 14. I left a Yahoo! chat conversation with my first mutual crush open, and my mother (being the vigilant snoop that she is) happened upon it. Now, don’t get me wrong — I absolutely think monitoring your children’s online activities is an ok thing to do. However, based on my own experience with my parents, I recommend calmly discussing any “questionable” behavior instead of attacking your child when he or she is expressing their inherent sexuality.
Crap, it’s cancer: parenting during a health crisis
My husband was diagnosed with rectal cancer in February 2011. He turned 40 only one month before. I’m only 31. We have a six-year old daughter and a three-year old son.
How tubal ligation fits into our family planning
Here I was, ready to talk to a doctor about getting a tubal ligation at twenty-three and with no children. Many doctors will not even consider doing a tubal on a woman unless she is over 30 and/or already has children; they worry that she will one day change her mind. Yet my husband and I had known for months that this was what we wanted.
Broken Phantoms: understanding visually identifiable and invisible disabilities
If there is any one particularly great experiential divide in the vast disability community, it may be that between the visually identifiable and the invisible disabilities. It’s the difference between a world of unwanted pity, and one of unwanted judgment.
Passing for straight: parenting with a man as a queer woman
I hear some of you wondering “Then why bother telling him? If you’re monogamous with a man, aren’t you basically straight anyway? What does it matter what other people think?” All I can tell you is, it does matter. We are talking about no less than who I am, at my very foundation.