My son simultaneously wears a Dora apron and fights sexism
It started when my son decided he wanted cupcakes. I figured we’d make cupcakes and take them to work for our friends. I gave him one of my aprons but it was too big. The next week at the local farmer’s market I spied homemade kid-sized aprons. They had some robots and some flowers, but what really caught my eye was, of course, a Dora apron. It is bright pink and lacy but whatever — that’s not something that would register for Isaac.
Pain, impermanence, and how much I miss my foster siblings
My parents have been foster parents for the past 12 years, and by extension my siblings and I have been foster siblings. It hasn’t always been easy — there has been joy, lots of pain, and laughter. Over the years we have had over 80 children. Some for a night, some for a weekend, some for a few months and some for years.
Learning to run the relay that is special needs parenting
I think having a child with a disability is similar to learning how to run. We line up and listen to a whole lot of people tell us what we should do. Sometimes we hear them. Often we don’t. They are usually talking from their own experience anyway and only slivers of what they say will have real applicable value to ourselves. Then we run: we try and try and try and try.
Ignoring the symptoms of an ectopic pregnancy cost me a Fallopian tube
One Saturday night I was just suddenly extremely sore in my lower abdomen — because of some historical gastrointestinal issues I assumed it was just a really bad case of bloat. Then it went on for the entire week. I made some drastic diet choices. I cut out dairy and anything with bubbles or that’s known to cause gas at all. I consulted Dr. Google and tried every ridiculous thing I found in forum posts or on Web MD. Meanwhile my husband got more worried by the day and gently urged (read: tried to load me in the car while I was sleeping) me to go to the doctor or the emergency room. I was so sure it was something benign that I refused to listen to reason.
My experience with Insufficient Glandular Tissue and breastfeeding
I am mourning what I thought would happen, how I thought things would work. I am finally accepting our new relationship, and trying to not feel guilty about it. It’s ok that my baby has formula, and I know breastmilk is best, but I’m doing my very best too. She is a happy, beautiful, healthy baby. I get to cuddle and snuggle her all day since I’m on maternity leave, and we have a wonderful relationship. I miss the closeness that nursing brought, but I’m glad she’s comfortable, and fed.
Why parenting and relationships are hard: happiness doesn’t mean feeling good
Our habitual pleasure-seeking keeps us from being able to be truly and deeply committed to our endeavors in life. Our idea that we deserve to feel good all the time, and that anything that isn’t actively making us feel good is bad and wrong and scary, makes it so we inevitably begin to resist the things we have committed to.
Pondering the challenges faced by queer families traveling internationally
My partner Jack and I had been excited about planning a family trip to Belize — we found a great VRBO cottage and fabulous flights. We were all ready when Jack asked, “Do we know if they like ‘our kid’ in Belize?” As in: are they ok with queers?
This shouldn’t be so weird and scary: thoughts on miscarriage
Imaginary woman, you are part of a long line of women who have been through this. You are not alone. I hope you have friends who will talk to you about even the ickiest parts. But even if you don’t, or even if they’re all asleep right now, you’re not alone.