I’ve been married for three years and I still can’t pick a married last name
It happens all the time. Someone will look at me, ask for my name, and I’ll panic. What is my name here? My doctor and my library know me as Ms. My-Last-Name. Our dog groomer and favorite restaurant know me as Mrs. His-Last-Name. My bank knows me as both. And at some point, my gym changed my name to match my husband’s, but I forget and give them the wrong name every time. Who am I this time?
16 breakup TV shows to binge watch your way back to life
Remember my big roundup of best breakup movies to soothe your poor broken heart? It’s time to dive down the boob tube rabbit hole to find the most bingeable breakup TV shows.
Grab your favorite snack (40 lb. bag of cereal marshmallows, perhaps?) and get to watching…
My husband doesn’t want kids: how do I cope with his choice?
My husband recently told me he definitively doesn’t want children. I knew he’d been leaning that way over the past few years so we’ve been waiting. Silly me, I’d always thought he’d eventually change his mind. If I’m honest my heart is quite broken. I’ve always looked forward to being a parent. How do I move from wanting a child to child-free?
My poly tips for working with jealousy (even if you’re not polyamorous!)
A theme in poly articles I see a lot: non-monogamy requires so much effort — likely too much effort for most of us. And I have a growing appetite for unpacking our assumptions that non-monogamy is so much harder than other ways of being in relationship.
I’m not here to tell you that scheduling time with and navigating the feelings of multiple partners doesn’t require a lot of work, or even that I think everyone needs to want to do the kind of work polyamory requires. Non-monogamy isn’t a one-size-fits-all approach any more than monogamy is and both require dedication and communication…
Is polyamory a lifestyle or an orientation?
My husband recently told me that he is thinking more and more about a polyamorous lifestyle. He told me that he feels he needs to come out of the closet as poly. Aside from all of the considerations for the relationship itself (I saw you already address that well here and here), I’m more interested […]
Real talk lessons from the first year of marriage
Six months in, amidst the busy chaos of our lives I find myself thinking back to this summer when we were road tripping through a foreign country with nothing but sight seeing on the agenda. I long to have completely full days of her and I. But, like all good things, the honeymoon had to come to an end. I have always read the first year of marriage is the hardest. Together, you work on finding a rhythm and finding your place in their world. The first year is a balancing act and I have learned a few things so far I thought I would share…
To my (unhappily) single friends on Valentine’s Day
To my unhappily single friends on Valentine’s Day (happily single friends, you won’t need this one!): I love you. I wish I could look you in the eyes and tell you, without a doubt, that someday the void you feel today will be filled in exactly the way you want it to be. That if you just stop looking for a partner, one will find you. Bliss will be forever yours. I know we both wish the future was as predictable and happy-ending filled as a movie.
I think perhaps this May, on Mother’s Day, I will feel the same way you do today. Last Mother’s Day I was blissfully looking forward to becoming a mother; a month later I lost that pregnancy.
The year I started dating god with a lowercase g
I think I’m in a polyamorous relationship with god.
This sounds insane in maybe 10 different ways, especially for ME to say, since for most of my life, my spirituality boiled down to don’t know, don’t care! … but it’s probably the most accurate description of happened for me this past year. Of course I’m talking about “god” lower case non-denominational, so maybe it’s a little less surprising than if the story here was “Offbeat Bride lady raised by hippies goes evangelical,” but still.