My third life: Reinventing myself by moving to another city
In New York, one of the first questions asked when you meet someone is, “What borough are you from?” I quickly learned that I needed to “represent.” At first, it felt weird trying to profess my pride for a place that I had only know through TV and movies, but as months passed, I felt less and less like a Clevelander and more like a Brooklynite. Unfortunately, after 14 years, the New York City that had I loved since childhood pretty much vanished in front of my eyes. ust as we were contemplating leaving, we got an offer to stay with his family in Greeley, Colorado…
How hockey helped me heal from an abusive relationship
I was almost five years into an abusive relationship, and at best, I was bereft of both self-esteem and hope. The good news is that a month and a half later, I finally got up enough courage to leave. At the time, I thought it was a temporary measure to help him realize that what he was doing was wrong. But it turned into a journey of recovery and self-discovery that I’m still taking today. None of it has been easy, but a lot of that journey has been aided by playing hockey…
Married, happy, autistic: My life as an adult with Autism
So much information about autism and the Autism Awareness Movement is geared toward young children. News flash: adults have autism, too. I’m one of them. “But you seem so ‘normal,’ and you’re married! You can’t have autism!” Exclamations like these always follow whenever I tell people that I’m autistic. It’s true: I probably don’t fit into your idea of what it means to be autistic — I’m married, I had a career before I was diagnosed with a bone disease that ended it — but it’s something that affects me every moment of every day.
Why I’m ripping the minus sign off my calculator: the mathematics of women and body image issues
My whole life has been about taking things out of my life in order to make it better. Subtracting weight. Removing blemishes. Getting rid of the appearance of cellulite and stretch marks. Reducing belly fat. Banishing negative thoughts. Taking this or that out of my diet. Ignoring my needs, lessening them for the convenience of others. Literally lowering the volume of my voice because too many people have scolded me for being too loud. To say I’m fed up with it is a gross understatement.
5 ways parenting is like college, kind of
A couple of weeks ago, a guy kissed me all sloppy with his mouth wide open, tried to take my shirt off, and then barfed into my hand, which I promptly wiped on my jeans. As it turns out, that is not the only way my life as a new parent closely resembles my life as a college student.
I’m a grandma and I have a baby of my own: the other side of teen parenthood
When I think about being a grandma, I feel like I should be older, more patient, have money, be able to spoil him, take him places. Instead, I walk with him and his aunt to the park. I drag them to the library because “grandma loves books.” I play music loud in the car and plan my next tattoo. All things I guess grandma’s don’t do. Or maybe they do. I do anyway.
I’ve known I was transgender since age 2
I have a hard time explaining to non-transgender people how I knew I was male from the start; I just did. I sometimes ask them, “How do you know you’re male or female?” Often, they go quiet and look stumped, because they can’t answer it either. Most people seem to just know, right? You can’t pinpoint what makes you feel that way or when exactly you realized it, can you? You likely always just knew.
I thought I lost my faith until I found it in my kids
It happened when I was 18. I was going to an all-girls Catholic college, and one morning — a particularly chilly late-autumn morning in Massachusetts — I looked up at the chapel, and I couldn’t feel him. He was gone. It took a bit of adjusting. For 18 years I’d believed in him. To just stop, well, it was jarring.