Let’s take a moment to fantasize about off-limits offbeat pets

I grew up in the country. Pets were whatever I could bring home. I raised some baby mice, had a sand piper for a spell, and dreamed of having a pet raccoon like in Rascal.

I’m a grown-ass lady now, and know that I would never, ever keep a non-domesticated animal as a pet (and now I understand why my parents were strict about making me set that sand piper free when she felt better). But it’s still fun to have fantasy pets. There are too many amazing animals in the world NOT to imagine what it would be like living with them. I TOTALLY understand that wild animals are not pets. This is fantasy-land, where I also have a tail and very large yellow wings.

But in fantasy-land, I have a pet tortoise:

And this little guy is SO CUTE but what I really want is a giant one. Like an Aldabra Giant Tortoise:

Can I ride my fantasy tortoise like a very slow pony? I can.

I’d also score myself a pet flying fox:

And feed it milkshakes all the time.

I wouldn’t kick a Fossa pup out of bed, either. Though they are related to civets, so they have scent glands and might make my bed smelly. But it’s MY fantasy, so I’m going to have a Fossa who smells like flowers.

They also eat lemurs, and I am definitely opposed to lemurs, so I’d be glad to have an anti-lemur force in the home.

I absolutely need a Capybara in my imaginary menagerie.

They’re basically GIANT guinea pigs!

Last — and definitely not least — what fantasy pet list would be complete without mention of an otter?

I would name him Ollie and we would be best friends and my husband would never speak to me again because he’d be mad that our house smells like fish.

Take a fiver and brainstorm your no-holds-barred fantasy pet — I want to hear. Since this is totally imaginary, unicorns, triceratops, and the like are TOTALLY allowed.