Let’s take a moment to fantasize about off-limits offbeat pets

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#Pets#animals

I grew up in the country. Pets were whatever I could bring home. I raised some baby mice, had a sand piper for a spell, and dreamed of having a pet raccoon like in Rascal.

I’m a grown-ass lady now, and know that I would never, ever keep a non-domesticated animal as a pet (and now I understand why my parents were strict about making me set that sand piper free when she felt better). But it’s still fun to have fantasy pets. There are too many amazing animals in the world NOT to imagine what it would be like living with them. I TOTALLY understand that wild animals are not pets. This is fantasy-land, where I also have a tail and very large yellow wings.

But in fantasy-land, I have a pet tortoise:

And this little guy is SO CUTE but what I really want is a giant one. Like an Aldabra Giant Tortoise:

Source: sunsurfer.tumblr.com via Mellissa on Pinterest
Source: sunsurfer.tumblr.com via Mellissa on Pinterest

Can I ride my fantasy tortoise like a very slow pony? I can.

I’d also score myself a pet flying fox:

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Source: concretescarecrow.blogspot.com via Cat on Pinterest
Source: concretescarecrow.blogspot.com via Cat on Pinterest

And feed it milkshakes all the time.

I wouldn’t kick a Fossa pup out of bed, either. Though they are related to civets, so they have scent glands and might make my bed smelly. But it’s MY fantasy, so I’m going to have a Fossa who smells like flowers.

Source: zooborns.com via Meg on Pinterest
Source: zooborns.com via Meg on Pinterest

They also eat lemurs, and I am definitely opposed to lemurs, so I’d be glad to have an anti-lemur force in the home.

I absolutely need a Capybara in my imaginary menagerie.

Source: zooborns.com via Stephanie on Pinterest
Source: zooborns.com via Stephanie on Pinterest

They’re basically GIANT guinea pigs!

Last — and definitely not least — what fantasy pet list would be complete without mention of an otter?

Source: i.imgur.com via Erin on Pinterest
Source: i.imgur.com via Erin on Pinterest

I would name him Ollie and we would be best friends and my husband would never speak to me again because he’d be mad that our house smells like fish.

Take a fiver and brainstorm your no-holds-barred fantasy pet — I want to hear. Since this is totally imaginary, unicorns, triceratops, and the like are TOTALLY allowed.

About the Author: Cat Rocketship

I was the Managing Editor of Offbeat Home for a year and a half. I have a rich Internet life and also a pretty good real life. Hobbies include D&D, Twitter, and working on making our household more self-reliant. I also draw things.

Comments on Let’s take a moment to fantasize about off-limits offbeat pets

  1. I would definitely need a tiger, a dolphin, and a flying horse (think Rainbow Brite’s horse or the firemares in Krull). Oh, and I can’t forget my orangutan and my baby elephant.

  3. I don’t know how many of you want a bunch of stuffed animals, but the World Wildlife Fund has a thing right now that if you donate $50 you can pick out a stuffed animal. They have a lot from all of our wishlists. If you donate $200, you can get a stuffed animal family of meerkats. They are pretty awesome.

  4. Some day, I WILL have a capybara, and I will put a harness on it and take it for walks. And I’m gonna hug it and kiss it and love it forever and never use it up.

    /tinytoons

  5. I get to work with most of these animals on a daily basis, as a zookeeper. But I WANT a wombat. I can’t contain the squee whenever I see one. Also, an otter. Those hands! That face! Gah!
    This might be my all-time favorite thread…ever.
    Oh, and Cat? If you ever find yourself in Utah, I can totally hook you up with feeding an aldabra tortoise!

  6. I totally had a dream a couple weeks ago that my husband and I had a pet triceratops… so now I kinda want one.

    Failing that, I’d take a pet owl, like this little thing: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3G1PFLuTrgM

    Also, a tame porcupine, like this talkative guy who’s been making the rounds: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UGz8jcbJjRw

    But more than anything else right now, I want a DOG. Which is off limits because we have a smallish apartment that we’re already sharing with a cat, and no yard to speak of (and my husband and I both want a big dog that would need room to run). *sigh* I love my kitty, but still. Puppy love would be nice too.

  7. One day, I will actually have a dairy goat and a miniature cow (a Zebu! Because they are awesome!) and chickens and LOTS of rescue dogs.

    But in fantasy land I want big cats. One of each. Or maybe two of each…And I will name them all Bob. Except for the bobcat, he will be Fred.

    And two Anatolian shepherds who I will train to flank me at all times, so that I will be the most terrifying thing ever.

    …Anna an alicorn. Because pointy flying ponies are the best.

  8. I want
    a baby panda
    penguin
    pygmy hippo
    a manatee or two
    turtles
    birds that sitt on my shoulders like im a disney princess
    a couple of friendly deer
    a horse
    pigs
    baby chickens and ducks

    And
    a house buffalo with hot pink and white day of the dead markings
    a talking house sheep
    – i had a dream about having those 2 last night

  9. I keep asking my managers for a pack mule to help me carry stuff around at work. I work in an urban airport soooo that’s not gonna happen.

    Otherwise, I’d love:
    -A crow
    -A bat (a flying fox especially! So cute!)
    -A thylacine! (The YA Leviathan series by Scott Westerfeld won my heart as soon as they introduced a lady scientist with a bowler hat and a pet thylacine.)
    -A Pern fire lizard as mentioned up-thread
    -A Kneazle from Harry Potter

  10. But you can get Nigerean dwarf goats for milking and then make miniature cheese from your miniature goats!!!! This is totally on my real-life animal list – two dwarf goats, a miniature donkey, and chickens (regular sized) – when my wife and I buy our fantasy-for-now-one-day-to-be-real-life house in Spain.

    My fantasy pet list is MINIATURE ELEPHANT a million times over – one that stays baby size forever and goes swimming with me and cuddles on the bed. And a beluga in my bathtub. We would sing Rafi songs together. And a shoulder monkey (which played multiple instruments and used a litterbox and never threw feces.) And a fennec fox. For the obvious reason that it is the cutest creature which has ever lived. (In my fantasy world, my cats don’t slaughter it and eat it for dinner. In real life, I think that might end differently.)

  11. A lyrebird. They can imitate CHAINSAWS! And the shutter on a camera. So amazing. Or a raven, they are so smart and funny.

    In the mammalian category I would want an english badger, I’d have him since babyhood so he would be super cuddly and adorable.

  12. Ok, I feel bad not having read all of the comments, especially since they are SO MUCH FUN and I love this post to death!

    But I want a tiger so bad I can barely breath whenever I think about it (which is actually pretty often). My absolute ideal vacation would be to go to that monastary in Thailand where the monks protect the tigers. On my bucket list: HUG A TIGER. I would die happy if I got to hug a tiger (even if the tiger was the one mauling me and eating me as I died).

    I have also always wanted a goat, and now that we have a house and a yard people keep asking when I’m going to get one (and I even bought/read a book about raising them), but we recently discovered that they count as livestock and we’re not allowed to have livestock in our town. 🙁 Utter sadness.

    • A little late to this party, but I HAVE hugged a tiger! It was AWESOME!!!! Sawdust Days in Oshkosh, WI used to have a vendor where you could get your picture taken with a baby tiger. I think the company is Big Cats of the World, based in Texas? BEST experience EVER!!!!!

          • On the other hand, there are lots of bad stories on the web about Great Cat Adventures and how they get their cats and whether they are legitimate. I admit I didn’t do my research about them. I certainly don’t approve of a company that doesn’t follow safety protocols or exploits animals for profit! It WAS a great experience, but part of me is a bit ashamed that I may have helped an awful person abuse animals.

          • Yeah, I saw all the bad stuff about them when I was trying to find it. Sadness. I guess I will still have to make the trek to Thailand. 🙂

            Still… You hugged a tiger!!!

  17. I’d totally get:

    1) a miniature giraffe- one small enough to fit under the dining table.
    2) a miniature dragon- one the size of a large housecat
    3) a magical full-size lion that pops out of my hands whenever I want him about to keep me company and jumps back into them and the nth dimension when I need courage and assertiveness
    4) a massive dog that doesn’t bark and NEVER smells of dog
    5)uni-sheep. Half sheep, half unicorn.

  20. I would have:
    1. a Hippogriff, to take me places and defend my castle 😉
    2. a gold firelizard queen, to send messages with
    3. a mimic octopus
    4. a bunch of different owls
    5. one of those glowy deep sea jellyfish
    6. and a hippocampus
    And I’d have a thestral, but I wouldn’t be able to see it.

  21. Dikdik’s are really cute in an alien sort of way. Also, I would like a lemur. And a really gigantic rabbit. I have two bunnies of my own, but they barely equal 15 lbs put together. I want one of those gigantic rabbits. That I could dress up as a little dandy. I would call him Clifford.

  23. All these pages and no pokemon? Well I would totally have an eevee! They are so cute!
    On top of that, I would get a cute little owl and a neutered tribble to cuddle. And a giant racing tortise of course.

  24. No mention of barking deer? Also known as muntjacs, they look like a cross between a dog and a deer. They are domesticate-able and one day I will have one!!!
    Also, in fantasy land, I want an Okapi, which is real, just impossible, a unicorn with wings, and she would have to be purple and green, and a mini-dragon! And a bunch of uni-frogs. Like a whole bunch, 100 or so!!

  25. how have i not commented in here yet?

    oookay… in fantasy land, I have a big castle with a moat… in the moat there lives a dugong, a manatee, a forever-baby dolphin, a minature hump-back whale, and a narwhal. Oh, and some penguines of various species, and a pygmy hippo for the Hubs.

    Inside, we have my dog Razor who will live as long as i do, a sloth, a lemur, an alpaca and a llama, a minature giraffe (like, maybe horse sized…) a teacup chinese dragon, a flying bison (for transport), and probably a few aussie marsupials, like a koala, (a sweet one, not a grumpy-ass grunting one), a brushtail possum (actually had one of these as a teenager, they’re super affectionate if raised from babies) a forever-baby wombat, a chuddich (http://www.australianfauna.com/chudditch.php) and a platypus, but he’ll have to live in the moat too…

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