Empowering songs to pump you up after a break-up (or anytime) #Relationships#exercise#music June 18 2014 | Caroline drechyng What's on your self-esteem pump-up playlist? I recently ended a relationship that had become toxic to my overall self-esteem and confidence. I have developed a wonderful coping method to help get me through the aftermath, and I wanted to share: I am running while listening to self-affirming music. I would love if readers could share their favourite empowering running music. Thanks! — Marsupup First: I'm so happy to hear that you're no longer in a toxic relationship. And running to empowering music sounds like a great coping method, indeed! Even if you're not using it to run, empowering, upbeat music could help get you through something like a breakup (or a job rejection, or almost any disappointment where your self-esteem takes a hit) and remember how awesome you are. This kind of music is more about loving yourself, surviving, independence, or feeling powerful, and less about hating an ex. I'm going to share some up-tempo, self-empowering songs, then I'll open it up to the Homies and see what they suggest. I tried to keep these songs upbeat for working out and diverse in genre, and I included some of my "guilty pleasures" for y'all. (I actually don't believe in being "guilty" about liking any music, so don't be shy with your suggestions!) It just happened that the list is all women artists, but feel free to throw in whatever pumps you up! I Love Myself Today by Bif Naked Tango Shoes by Bif Naked The Young Crazed Peeling by The Distillers Supervixen by Garbage Shine by Estelle The World Should Revolve Around Me by Little Jackie Work It by Missy Elliott. Gucci Gucci by Kreayshawn Fly by Nicki Minaj ft. Rihanna Maneater by Nelly Furtado Fergalicious by Fergie Hollaback Girl by Gwen Stefani Fighter by Christina Aguilera Survivor by Destiny's Child Independent Women by Destiny's Child Spice Girls? The Supremes? Share your pump-up, self-affirming tracks! Reporter Name * Reporter Email * Original text Enter the original text here. Edited text* Enter your suggested copyedit here. Notes You can add a note for the editor here. * Required information. Fix Typo Caroline Caroline was the Offbeat Empire copyeditor from 2011-2015. Caroline is a Canadian genderweird witch and literature PhD student living in Aix-En-Provence, France. They love art and powerlifting, and they spend their free time with their boyfriend, their girlfriend, and their black cat and familiar, Zee. @drechyng @drechyng PREVIOUS My parents' pallet garden fence is ugly and awesome NEXT Get inspired: a tiny house built by a teen Show/Hide comments [ 43 ] Fucking Perfect by Pink (pretty much anything by Pink) Pretty much anything by ABBA There is Life Outside Your Apartment from Avenue Q One Girl Revolution by SuperChick I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing (more of a cool-down song) Mr. Brightside by The Killers If I Could Have You Back by Aly & AJ Long Gone by Lady Antebellum Take Me As I Am by Sugarland Chainsaw by The Band Perry Freckles by Natasha Bedingfield Brave by Sara Barielles Roar by Katy Perry Take Me or Leave Me from Rent And if you like Christian music, check out Fireflight. A lot of their songs would be good for running, and they're mostly all about overcoming toxic things. Check out So Help Me God 6 agree Reply Bif Naked FTW!! 6 agree Reply While I totally respect your decision to omit Beyonce's Flawless, I just want to say that I REALLY enjoy being drenched in sweat, making an ugly face, listening to the chorus "I woke up like this / I woke up like this." 3 agree Reply YES. Also "We Run The World (Girls)" is where it's at. Reply I have a similar palylist, it is peppered with rousing movie scores and songs that make me feel like a bad ass (like O Fortuna) but here are some of the ones that may suit your needs: Black Friday Rule – Flogging Molly Lose Yourself – Eminem Born this Way – Lady Gaga Stronger (what doesn't Kill You) – Kelly Clarkson I want it all -Queen I Won't Back Down – Tom Petty Can't Hold Us – Macklemore Defying Gravity – Wicked We Remain – Christina Aguilara Hey Brother – Avicci Rebel Girl – Bikini Kill and my Current everyday anthem: Level Up – Vienna Teng Also, you are awesome. 😀 3 agree Reply These are fantastic additions!! And you are the one who is awesome 😀 1 agrees Reply Oh! I forgot some: Girl Anachronism – The Dresden Dolls Sing – The Dresden Dolls Grey Street – Dave Matthews Band Dare You to Move – Switchfoot Walk On – U2 Breath (2am) Anna Nalick She – Green Day It Gets Better – Fun. Us of Lesser Gods – Flogging Molly Brave – Sara Bareilles Cool Down Songs In my mind – Amanda Palmer Where are you going – Dave Matthews Both Sides Now – Joni Mitchell You Found Me – The Fray Falling Slowly – The Swell Season I love it when you guys do posts like this, I'm going to spend the rest of my day discovering new music while I pretend to work WOOT! 2 agree Reply The Pokemon theme song, because I want to be the very best, like no one ever was. It ends up on every workout playlist I make. 17 agree Reply Haha YES! Awesome 🙂 1 agrees Reply Thanks for posting my question. I'm pysched to try all this new music on my run tomorrow! 2 agree Reply So many great songs! I'll add a few that are on my workout list: Boys Wanna Be Her — Peaches Hit 'Em Up Style– Carolina Chocolate Drops New Shoes– Paolo Nutini Guarded By Monkeys — Cracker The Happiest Lamb — Audra Mae Free Me — Joss Stone Pot Kettle Black –Tilly and the Wall Wannabe — Spice Girls (I know, but no guilt here! ) And every once in awhile I need to blast I'm Awesome by Spose. 4 agree Reply "Motherfucker, I'm awesome!" "No you're not dude, don't lie." Reply Love this question! So I went through my running playlist, and I don't know if all of these are "empowering" but all of these make me think "I'm a badass mofo and I can keep running through anything," so I thought that was affirming enough. That's Not My Name – Ting Tings Ways to Go – Grouplove I Love It – IconoPop Ball and Chain – Social Distortion My Body – Young the Giant Not Your Fault – AWOL Nation Get Over It – Ok Go This Too Shall Pass – Ok Go Needing/Getting – Ok Go One Girl Revolution – Superchick Remember the Name – Fort Minor All I Do Is Win – DJ Khaled Run the World (Girls) – Beyonce Heaven Knows – Pretty Reckless Work Bitch – Britany Spears Fancy – Iggy Azalea 2 agree Reply "You Can't Handle This" by Five Iron Frenzy is my personal nerd empowerment anthem. It contains the lines "Leonard Nimoy can't stand up to this/And Captain James T. Kirk bows beneath my mighty fist/And I am awesome, awesome, I am the awesomest." 2 agree Reply This is not a music suggestion. Instead, it's a movie suggestion for what to do when a man breaks your heart. (LGBT disclaimer: I would say this is a good fit for any break-up, but it works SO much better when it's someone of the male persuasion). Years ago a nice young man broke up with me and it hurt a disproportionate, crazy amount. I visited a good friend, who promptly made cupcakes and asked me what chick flick would make me feel better. Here's the rub: chick flicks, on the whole, do not help after a break up. The boy and the girl always seem to end up together, the conflict seems worth it, and romance tends to be the point of the film. I scrolled over "Emma" and "10 Things I Hate About You" and even "Bridesmaids" and the romantic relationships made me want to vomit. We watched Silence of the Lambs, and it was AWESOME. I went from devastated to laughing. [SPOILER] Essentially every man in that movie is awful and lecherous. The main character, a woman, gets hit on and sexually assaulted and physically threatened and totally rises above all of it, relationship-free and badass as hell. The secondary female character (a "big girl") holds a tiny dog hostage; states her requests and boundaries clearly, haha ("get me the fuck out of here!"); and eventually wins her freedom. I walked away feeling like I didn't need a relationship to be powerful at all. I was also a little grossed out by men, which probably isn't healthy and I'm generally not a fan of misandry, but it really helped over the next 24 hours. As for music, I'm a fan of Mika. It's like gay disco pop was made for running after a break up: Grace Kelly – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0CGVgAYJyjk&feature=kp Lollipop – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6md5RSnVUuo I only love you when I'm drunk – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PQKVH7QEbjA&feature=kp Elle me dit – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NiHWwKC8WjU We are golden – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hEhutIEUq8k&feature=kp 5 agree Reply OMG I LOVE Mika!! Gay disco pop is the perfect description! His slower stuff is so soulful too! 🙂 1 agrees Reply Ha ha! I totally did the movie thing after a break up and my Friend gave me a movie choice. My choice? Battle Royale. Nothing like watching a load of kids killing each other to put your breakup in perspective and out of your mind! Reply Hehe, I too watched that movie a couple of times when going through a breakup. It's awesome. Reply I have been waiting for this post all of my life, it seems. I have what I call a "torch song" playlist on my iPod that I made after a very similar experience and found it really helpful. My playlist includes: – Here Comes My Man, the Gaslight Anthem – Shake it Out, Florence + the Machine – The Fairy Tale of New York, the Pouges – Old White Lincoln, the Gaslight Anthem – Infinitesimal, Mother Mother – Better Days, St Lawerence Warehouse Company – I Need Some Fine Wine and You Need to Be Nicer, the Cardigans I don't know why some of these make me feel great about myself, but they do, and other works through the bitterness of ending a toxic relationship (ie- the first Gaslight Anthem song and the Cardigans song specifically). Good luck! 2 agree Reply I definitely had an "I Hate Men" playlist the last time I got dumped. Inspired by the song from Kiss Me, Kate, of course. Possibly not the most positive, but still fun. When I'm feeling down, I play Malinky, especially the songs off their 3 Ravens album. (They're a Scottish folk band, and one of my favorites.) I also love Tarja and Rhapsody of Fire, both power metal. And that song from Rocky. How can you not feel pumped listening to that? Reply LMFAO – Sexy and I Know It White Town – Your Woman Cake – I Will Survive Natasha Bedingfield – Unwritten 1 agrees Reply OK, these aren't so much "relationship/self-esteem" songs, but they're on my running playlist and always make me feel "Fuck, YEAH!" at the end: Party Hard – Andrew WK Uprising – Muse One-Armed Scissor – At The Drive-In Lover I Don't Have To Love – Bright Eyes and, erm, Greased Lightnin', from the Grease soundtrack, because it fits my running pace perfectly and if "Go, Greased Lightnin', you're burning up the quarter mile…" doesn't get me going, then nothing will! 2 agree Reply 'Famous Last Words' by My Chemical Romance. It's my go to soundtrack when I'm feeling crushed. It's rebellious, anthemic and one of my favourite bands. 'Living Is A Problem' by Biffy Clyro is another good one. 'Pretty Handsome Awkward' by The Used too. I like songs with attitude to pump me back up 😉 1 agrees Reply Some notable highlights on my gym playlist – I can't run for toffee but I hit the gym for that same "I'm awesome" boost when my OCD is threatening to spiral out of control! Just a Girl – No Doubt Shut your Mouth – Garbage Orpheus – Ash She's a Rebel – Green Day Kick out the Jams – Presidents of the United States of America You need me, I don't need you – Ed Sheeran Hella Good – No Doubt Plus another vote for some Gaga and some Mika! 2 agree Reply Titanium- Sia Heavy Cross- Gossip Brokenhearted-Karmin Clarity- Zedd I love Bif Naked and love that she's on here. My songs are great for running. The truth is that for pumping myself up when I'm feeling low (and I want to feel purposeful) I always listen to "The Boxer" by Simon and Garfunkel. 1 agrees Reply From my "Dancing with myself" playlist… (I tried to grab a selection that hadn't been mentioned yet…) Stella Project – Underneath My Skin MIA – Bad Girls Do It Well Santogold – Creator Azealia Banks – 212 Ke$ha – Boots and Boys Eagles of Death Metal – Cherry Cola Stone Temple Pilots – Big Bang Baby Brandi Carlile – Raise Hell GOLDFRAPP – STRICT MACHINE Jet – She's a Genius Sleigh Bells – Riot Rhythm Does It Offend You, Or? – Let's Make Out She Wants Revenge – Tear You Apart Hot Hot Heat – Bandages 2NE1 – Follow Me The Chain Gang of 1974 – The Devil is a Lady Little Mix – Salute Also, anything by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs or Veruca Salt and there should probably be some PJ Harvey in here too but picking songs is hard and this is long already. ALSO everyone should youtube some DOLL$BOXX and BABYMETAL, because adorable J-Rock and J-Metal makes me want to PUNCH ROBOTS AND LOOK CUTE which I feel might be an appropriate mood 2 agree Reply I LOVE running to Sleigh Bells. Their "Treats" album always makes me feel badass. Reply Super happy to see OK Go and Mika listed above. The Corrs' "I Never Really Loved You Anyway" got me through a bad breakup awhile back. Really that whole record (Talk On Corners). Also Ani DiFranco's album Dilate. Umm if I may be so bold, I wrote an "I Am Awesome" kind of song. It's called "Rockstar, Bitch!" I was upset about something and my friend said "what do you care? You're gonna be a rockstar, bitch!" And then she declared I should write a song about it. It's available on all the digital music platforms and you can stream it from my website, http://www.rachelschain.com. 2 agree Reply Not sure if these have been posted but my break up/cheer up choices are: Mr Blue Sky – ELO Anything No Doubt Anything Kelly Clarkson Anything Pink You Oughta know – Alanis Morrisette Robbie Williams – Karma Killer Party in the USA – Miley Cyrus Stronger – Britney Spears Hold On – Wilson Phillips Blu Cantrell – Hit em up style Mya – Return of the Ex Take That – Never Forget So I do tend towards the cheesy side of things….haha 2 agree Reply I often play pump yourself up music when I'm painting and jogging, here are some of my favorites when I need to feel a little indestructible. Work – Iggy azalea ( I also dance party to this in my studio when I'm not feeling so art confident) Change Your Life- Iggy Azalea (another in studio pump up my self esteem song) Fuck Love & murda bizness- Iggy Azalea Pursuit of Happiness (Cover be Lissie) nice cool down Electric Lady- Janelle Monae Angel Haze is one of my favs, great tracks by her: A tribe called red, Battle cry, Echelon, New York, Werkin Girls Best of Me- Morningwood Q.u.e.e.n- Janelle Monae Stupid – Brendan Maclean (also his loner dance party of a music video for this song makes my day every time) 2 agree Reply Reply From the "screw you" section of my workout playlist: Angry Johnny – Poe Before He Cheats – Carrie Underwood Billie Jean – Breathe Carolina Bye Bye Bye – NSync Dead and Gone – T.I. Defying Gravity – Wicked (original Broadway Cast recording) Don't Want You Back – Backstreet Boys Fairytale – Sara Bareilles Fuck You – Cee Lo Natalie – Bruno Mars Radioactive – Imagine Dragons Raise Your Glass – Pink Since You've Been Gone – Kelly Clarkson Stronger – Britney Spears This is War – 30 Seconds to Mars What Goes Around / Comes Back Around – Justin Timberlake You Can Do It – No Doubt You Know My Name – Chris Cornell 1 agrees Reply Not necessarily empowering, but they make me feel better when I'm down 🙂 Just a Girl – No Doubt Dancing With Myself – Billy Idol The Lovecats – The Cure Eloise – The Damned Trash – Suede (or The London Suede if you're from the US) Russian Roulette – Lords Of The New Church Girls Just Want to Have Fun – Cyndi Lauper I want to Break Free – Queen 3 agree Reply Queen: Killer Queen Queen Latifah: Unity L7: Fast and Frightening Bikini Kill: I Like Fucking/Rebel Girl Nancy Sinatra: These Boots are Made For Walking TLC: Unpretty Social Distortion: Dear Lover The Misfits: Attitude Poe: Not a Virgin Anymore Salt n Pepa: Ain't Nuthin But a She Thing I could keep going on and on, fun thread! Not sure if others would consider these empowering. Most are kinda more "take no shit" than "feeling awesome about me" music. But I'm ready to kick some ass just writing this list! 3 agree Reply I personally LOVE "take no shit" music! Thanks!! 1 agrees Reply I totally have a mix like that I dubbed my "badass chick mix". Pretty much all of the songs have already been mentioned except for my current badass chick favorite: the Yeah Yeah Yeahs – Zero. The lyrics aren't specifically about empowerment but listening to it pumps me up. 3 agree Reply Boss – I Don't Give A Fuck Steamboat Cabaret – Onwards Upwards Florence + The Machine – Dog Days Are Over Woodkid – Iron Jamie N Commons & X Ambassadors – Jungle Doc Watson – Sittin' On Top of the World Two Door- Something Good Can Work (RAC Remix) Basement Jaxx – Good Luck Reply First and foremost on my "2 Fingers" playlist (if you're not from the UK, it's kind of like labeling it middle fingered…) In addition to a number of previously mentioned suggestions: Joan Jett: Bad Reputation Cake's cover of I Will Survive Shane McGowan: Donegal Express Aerosmith: Walk This Way Queen: Another One Bites the Dust Clash: London Calling Foo Fighters: Learn to Fly But I definitely used music to keep me sane after ending a toxic relationship- glad you managed it, and everyone here is sending you warm fuzzies! Reply I LOVE it when we talk music! Everyone's suggestions have made me want to listen to music all night instead of sleep! Girly pop music like Pink, Ke$ha (does she still do the dollar sign thing?), Gaga. etc. is great for dancing and getting pumped up and feeling confident. If you're in a more rock mood, I recommend the band Halestorm. Lzzy Hale writes a lot of really empowering stuff with a fun rock/metal edge. Can't wait to read more of you guys' favorite running/pump up songs! Reply I got really excited by all of the new awesome music, so I went through the comments and put every song into a Spotify playlist. I thought I'd share if anyone else is interested: http://open.spotify.com/user/ancientrena/playlist/1hmY4Prd104L47b4E1RRNl We came up with 174 songs and 11h 7min of music! It's completely unedited, and there are a few songs missing because the artists don't like Spotify (mostly Beyonce and some of the older classics). 1 agrees Reply My playlist for a breakup is pretty similar to my getting ready for a night out playlist, read into that what you will! 🙂 The Raccoons theme song – Run With Us (reminds me of my great friends) The Donnas – Dirty Denim Jurassic 5 – I Am Somebody Billy Idol – Rebel Yell Danko Jones – Sticky Situation The Rezillos – Somebodys Gonna Get Their Head Kicked In I used to listen to Pink a lot when I last had a breakup, she's just great for picking up the mood a little. Reply You'll like "You Look So Good (in My Rear View Mirror) on YouTube here: http://youtu.be/i9-XORcbydQ Reply Goodbye to You – Scandal Ain't no breakup playlist complete without that gem! Reply Join the conversation Cancel Reply Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *Comment Notify me of follow-up comments by email. 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