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I had my first miscarriage June 21, 2011 at 16 weeks. I didn’t get the chance to find out the sex of the baby, even though I always felt it was a girl. She was my butterfly, for she was always kicking. She would have been born around December 5. My second miscarriage was April 15, 2012 at 11 weeks. My football, that wonderful weight cradled in my pelvis, would have been born around October 20. Again, I didn’t get a chance to find out the sex, but I felt like it was another girl, so I named her Thing 2, and her sister Thing 1.
I’ve already got a couple of tattoos, and now, I want memorial tattoos for my babies. I’d love to know what ideas you guys have for memorial tattoos, and what some of you have used in the past. — SnowQueen
A year after my son, Jonathan, was born still, I got a tattoo of the Egyptian goddess Isis releasing a butterfly. Isis is/was the goddess of motherhood (among other things), and I’ve always liked butterflies. My initial scrawl had her arms around the butterfly, but the artist changed it so that the arms were open – much better than my initial idea.
I terminated a pregnancy and was surpsringly sad afterward. I have a beautiful thigh piece dedicated to it, a bird cage on the side of my hip (sort of lined up with my womb) and a bird spilling out of it around my leg. It’s framed by a soft filigree. I love it.
I am planning a tattoo of my daughter’s flower. She is named Lavender (age 5), and my original plan was to have bees or other small insects incorporated into the drawing–one for each miscarriage. As I’ve just had my third loss, however, I’m beginning to wonder if this plan will change. I wanted to wait until I was done having children before getting the tattoo since if I have another girl, I’ll also name her a flower and incorporate her into my tattoo plan, or a boy would be something else like a dragonfly, etc. So, I guess for now that is still my plan, but if I have many more losses, I don’t know that I’ll want to have one for each one; I fear it may be more painful than cathartic that way. I may choose one thing or a bird’s nest in another place, for example.