Being fat isn't a sex-life death sentence: how to be body positive in the bedroom

Confession: I was a covers-pulled-up-to-my-chin, lights-off, minimize-jiggling-however-possible lover. I hated my nude body. I used to think somehow that if my partner couldn't see the parts of me that I didn't like, (s)he'd magically not know about them. Then, I met a partner who finally called me out on it. That's the moment I had my great epiphany: Being fat isn't automatically a sex-life death sentence; it's SO possible to have mind-blowing sex and be overweight


How The Addams Family does BDSM right

While it was unfortunately many people’s introduction to the topic, bloggers from all corners of the internet have derided the relationship pictured in Fifty Shades for what it really is: abuse masquerading as kink. But twenty-four years ago, a family comedy centered on a couple who liked to torture each other for pleasure gave audiences a much healthier glimpse at BDSM.


How to share BDSM with a vanilla partner

I wanted my man to be assertive and to take charge. I wanted to be swept off my feet by our romantic encounters. Malik, however, is a sub. He wanted me to take charge. He wanted me to be commanding, to dominate him. I had no experience with that whatsoever. He wanted to be paddled, blindfolded, gagged. And he wanted to do all of this with me. If your partner wants you to try something new, be it anal play, bondage, role play, ice cubes, or anything else, here are a few tips I learned from exploring the world of BDSM as a vanilla partner.


BDSM in mainstream media: Why I taught my kids about safe words

Kinky sex has made its way into mainstream culture in places other than poorly written erotica-gone-NYT-bestsellers-list. Music videos like Rihanna’s S&M, Christina Aguilera’s Not Myself Tonight, for instance. Our kids are seeing it, hearing and some of them are even reading the book. I anticipate that the majority of learning on the topic will not be from me but they’ll likely see videos and ads, or hear things from peers that could use some context, and I prefer to be the person who provides that context.