"He's not my husband, he's her husband, but we all really want a loan together": Life as a long-term polyamorist

I have been following the recent stories on polyamorous relationships, both on Offbeat Home and elsewhere, and saying a silent "hallelujah." I've been in a polyfidelitous triad (like a marriage but with three people) for thirteen years, but have never found the strength or the venue to start a larger conversation about long-term polyamorist relationships. But given how long the three of us have been together, I feel like I can offer some useful tidbits of advice and some observations on living a life that exists on the fringes but still in the mainstream.


BDSM in mainstream media: Why I taught my kids about safe words

Kinky sex has made its way into mainstream culture in places other than poorly written erotica-gone-NYT-bestsellers-list. Music videos like Rihanna’s S&M, Christina Aguilera’s Not Myself Tonight, for instance. Our kids are seeing it, hearing and some of them are even reading the book. I anticipate that the majority of learning on the topic will not be from me but they’ll likely see videos and ads, or hear things from peers that could use some context, and I prefer to be the person who provides that context.


What's the deal with gender-neutral parenting?

In recent years, however, we’ve seen a trend come about: parents are now choosing to raise their kids in “gender neutral” ways, eliminating any preconceptions about what a child should like or not like based on the sex they’re assigned at birth, in varying degrees.


"Why do you smoke?"

I, like most people, know the risks and dangers associated with smoking. We should — we hear them often enough. So when a kid, who are often present at adult parties, asks me "Why do you smoke?" it becomes difficult to answer.