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My Halloween regret: I used to wear cultures as costumes

Halloween may be a day permitting mitigated inhibitions, but our ethical responsibilities do not get a day off. I speak on this point as someone personally guilty of this specific kind of oversight. At one point in my young adult life, I costumed-up for the holiday as a cultural stereotype, and to this day I look back at what should be cute pictures of fun memories, but instead… I cringe at my offensive choice (and rightly so). I am guilty of perpetuating the social norm that appropriating cultures to which we do not belong and of whose complexities we do not comprehend is somehow acceptable.

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I don't want to say #metoo, but here's why I will

"I wish we didn't have to rip our pasts open & show you everything & let you ogle our pain for you to believe us about predation and trauma." – Lindy West. The sad fact is, though, that the #metoo phenomenon of sharing seems to be the only way to make any headway in chipping away at the bedrock that allows people with any modicum of power to exploit the vulnerabilities of those who have been raised to be silent and self-blaming. Victims are forced to either take on the system themselves or join together to raise a tiny flag to create larger flag aiming for change.

What Love Is: My review of Carrie Jenkins' book (+bonus story about mutual fangirling!)

I've mentioned it several times here, but I finally need to write my official review of Carrie Jenkins' What Is Love: And What Could It Be. I started reading the book in March and immediately adored it… not because I agreed with everything, but because it's so interesting to watch someone apply their super analytic, logic-based brain skills (the author's background is in the philosophy of MATH, for fuck's sake) to something as squishy like love and relationship structures.