To my (unhappily) single friends on Valentine's Day

To my unhappily single friends on Valentine's Day (happily single friends, you won't need this one!): I love you. I wish I could look you in the eyes and tell you, without a doubt, that someday the void you feel today will be filled in exactly the way you want it to be. That if you just stop looking for a partner, one will find you. Bliss will be forever yours. I know we both wish the future was as predictable and happy-ending filled as a movie.

I think perhaps this May, on Mother's Day, I will feel the same way you do today. Last Mother's Day I was blissfully looking forward to becoming a mother; a month later I lost that pregnancy.


Projections: falling in love with ourselves through what we see in others

Projecting on people, when it's blind, is pretty unkind. But if can catch yourself projecting — it's actually a hugely useful tool for self reflection. If you can be awake enough to the illusion to understand that the real issue isn't really about the other person, but WHAT you're projecting on that person… then you gain access to some remarkable insight into your own values, your own growth edges, and your own story.

My home's art has themes of sex, drugs, and rock 'n' roll: is that okay if I have a child?

I love the artwork in my home, and I've never given a second thought to the themes of sex, drugs, and rock and roll in my collection until having a child. Now that my husband and I have welcomed a little one into the world, I give more pause to the content of our collection and future art purchases.

Will the large print of Brigitte Bardot with a cigarette carelessly dangling from her mouth make my son more likely to take up smoking? Could the Mcbess drawings of scantily-clad ladies lead him to objectify women?


The year I started dating god with a lowercase g

Last year I started dating god.

This sounds insane in maybe 10 different ways, especially for ME to say, since for most of my life, my spirituality boiled down to don't know, don't care!¬†… but it's probably the most accurate description of happened for me this past year. Of course I'm talking about "god" lower case non-denominational, so maybe it's a little less surprising than if the story here was "Offbeat Bride lady raised by hippies goes evangelical," but still.