5.8k

Breast pumps & messy rooms: The newborn photos I wish I had taken

When my son was born I was already a photographer. I knew I wanted and needed to capture these first few precious weeks. So, apart from arranging for a photographer to come and take a few, I also prepared all my gear and resolved to practice taking the most perfect newborn pictures.

What I didn't know then was those "cute-baby-on-a-white-blanket-curled-up-in-a-perfect-pose" pictures would not be the ones I will treasure in five years time.

2.0k

Postpartum anxiety, devastating prenatal diagnosis: What to expect when parenthood isn't what you expected

The thing is, no one really knows what you should expect, when you're expecting. More often than not, the things you experience as a parent are not what you expected. Sometimes they're beautiful. Sometimes things are not so wonderful — Postpartum Anxiety. A devastating prenatal diagnosis. An abortion… So, what do you do when pregnancy or parenthood isn't what you expected?

2.2k

Becoming a wife and mother: What's going to happen to my identity?

The kind of questions my husband and I get are totally different. People ask him, "Are you ready to lose your freedom?" while people ask me, "Are you ready to be a mother?" Maybe it's just the way these jokes and comments and questions stacked up, but it doesn't feel like I can just "lighten up." Any confidence I had in myself to ignore what people were saying quickly dissipated, and one of my newest and biggest worries was born.

As I grow in my relationship with my husband and future family, what's going to happen to my identity?

2.6k

How a deceased fantasy writer helped me explain death to my 4-year-old

Death is a scary question. It is the scary question. It's your first real encounter of the inevitable as a child; the day you realise, because you live, you are going to have to die. Petrifying! I didn't want to dismiss it with the old Catholic one-liners that I was fed as a child, but I didn't want to traumatise my child any further with whatever half-baked, uncharted belly flop into the pool of hippy parenting my brain was feverishly trying to piece together.

2.4k

Do my interactions with strangers shape my toddler's view of gender?

Three years and a thousand miles away from my graduate program and the endless discussions on what it means to resist dominant discourses of heteronormativity, I find myself tempted to cut the curls I adore. I believe that little boys should be able to have flowing tresses and that rosy cheeks and pink pajamas are not the property of femininity. And yet, I get tired of correcting all the well-meaning strangers who compliment my child with the wrong pronoun. And despite myself, I wonder what message Morgan learns from their confusion.