Are there any bed frames that are quiet during sex? #Shopping#advice#beds#furniture#sex February 14 | Offbeat Editors By: Mike Renlund – CC BY 2.0 For years, I've been sleeping on a mattress on the floor. Don't get me wrong: I'd love to have a bed frame. I love the look of captain's beds with their convenient storage, or elevated frames with drawers. My major problem with frames, though, is that they are way too noisy during sex. There's nothing wrong with being loud, but when you want to be quiet, you can never quite pass that message along to the bed frame. Metal and wood both conspire to let everyone know what you're up to. Headboards require a hand to hold them, or they'll slam against the wall in protest. No matter how well you bite into the pillow, a stray thunk from a headboard or the incessant creaking of a frame will give up all your secrets in an instant. Is there a bed frame that won't betray the frantic motions on the mattress above? Does such a frame exist? -Elemeno P. Reporter Name * Reporter Email * Original text Enter the original text here. Edited text* Enter your suggested copyedit here. Notes You can add a note for the editor here. * Required information. Fix Typo PREVIOUS Make decorative hearts out of LEGO for your geeky Valentine's Day NEXT Gamers need lovin' too!: How to love and live with a Gamer Toggle comments [ 72 ] A swim noodle or pipe insulator can be cut in half and attached to the back of the headboard to prevent it from hitting the wall! 45 agree Reply They're out there, you just have to find it, I think. We have a solid wood bedframe with drawers underneath and a California king bed. The headboard goes flush against the wall and the weight from the drawers keeps it in place. Our bed makes no noise at all during sex. Of course, it's a pain in the arse to move–when we bought our house, we had to make sure the master bedroom was big enough to fit the bed, and we had to make sure all painting was done before we moved the bed in. The wall behind the bed will stay the same color until we move because that sucker won't be moving until we leave the house. 25 agree Reply We have a similar setup, and our headboard is bolted to the wall. Very quiet! When my family came to visit and would be staying in the room right below us, I had my partner simulate noises and motions while I sat downstairs. I couldn't hear a thing! 11 agree Reply I had the funniest image in my head of a man trying to bounce, rock and slam his way across a bed like a worm or hyperactive 3 yr old while putting on his O face and wailing/moaning like a banshee…. I think the lady next to me at work now thinks I'm odd due to a sudden outburst of snorting laughter. 93 agree Reply I recommend a platform bed. We have this one from Ikea, and it's quiet as can be. Maybe because there's no box-spring, maybe because it has more contact with the floor than a regular bed. 37 agree Reply I have this EXACT bedframe (king size, and I got the attachable side tables). And I can attest to the no noise during sex. The head board doesn't hit the wall (we have it almost flush against), and there are no legs (the entire thing is a box) and no box-spring. However, when the bed becomes more worn in…if you're in the middle of the bed, it can make a little noise. We solve that by either using an edge, or use a different area (the joys of a king-size is there's plenty of room to move around). 30 agree Reply I have that bed too, and it's as solid and stable as can be (it's pretty new, so perhaps the joints will loosen over time). Very quiet! 7 agree Reply Seconded! or…fourthed, I guess. Very sturdy. Just leave a few inches between the headboard and wall and you're good. 5 agree Reply We've had this exact same bed for about three years now, and it was really quiet at first! But lately it's gotten so loud that it's distracting. I thought tightening all the screws would help but it didn't. It's great for a while but it doesn't seem to last. 21 agree Reply I had the same problem with an Ikea bed. I had the Brimnes with drawers, and it was great…for a while. By the end, it was creaking so badly when we wiggled in bed that it would wake me up at night when my ex rolled over. We just had sex on the floor. 9 agree Reply How long is a while? I'm looking at purchasing that bed frame. 4 agree Reply I've had a platform bed from ikea for about three years and its just now starting to get noisy. The other thing to think about is that while having sex standing up next to the bed with your SO kneeling on it your knees may have a tendency to bang painfully against the rim around the edge of the frame (if it has a lip like mine does). . 3 agree We got the brimnes for the storage and because it seamed so much sturdier than our last metal frame. For the first three or four "sessions" the only noise was noise we made ourselves. Then, one day, hold on to your freaking hat! This thing is LOUD! I'm off work next week and plan to take it apart and see where it can be improved. If I had it to do over, I would have glued all of the joints. We have three kids and the house isn't that big. Luckily, they're heavy sleepers! Reply My husband and I got this exact bed from Ikea seven years ago. It still stays very silent IF and ONLY IF we turn ourselves sideways a full 90 degrees and then put the bed to "good use". 1 agrees Reply I have an Ikea platform bed with side tables and I do find it noisy. Not as noisy as a bed with boxspring and matress, but it does tend to move and make noise. I think the side tables are the most problem. I think the best bet is a very heavy, solid furniture set which I no longer have! 3 agree Reply Agreed on Ikea. We have the Brimnes with storage and a headboard (currently on sale!) we really liked the headboard because it gave us our own shelves and a headboard and drawers all-in-one, which is great because we don't have room in our tiny apartment for a dresser or side tables. The no-noise was an extra bonus. 1 agrees Reply Jill, how did you get the bed to be so quiet? I have the same one as you, but when move even a little, I hear (loudly I might add) the metals under the mattress move. And the wooden boards that stretch across the bed touch against the metal. Squeaky too… Help! 2 agree Reply your wrong so very very wrong. i have that and believe me its not quiet one little bit, the screws eventually come undone and you have tighten them every few months to keep them in place 3 agree Reply It's not a frame per se, but we're using home-built wooden box-ish things under a box spring — the supports are open on the top, the two at the foot of the bed each have three sides and a bottom, plus a shelf in the middle (I use them to store shoes), and the two at the head of the bed are just two sides and a bottom. They give us lots of under-bed storage space, although they do make the bed pretty high, since there's a box spring and then a mattress on top of them. If I recall correctly, they're screwed together, and my dad may have also glued them, I'm not sure. He made them to go under my twin-sized bed, but since it's just four boxes, they work fine under our queen, as well. (I don't recommend trying this with a king-sized bed unless you put supports in the middle as well). We haven't had trouble with noise, really, although there isn't really anything you can do to prevent the mattress/box spring from occasionally running into the wall, aside from maybe moving the whole bed away from any wall. Also, we haven't done this ourselves, but I've seen a bunch of ideas here on OBH&L for "headboards" that are actually attached directly to the wall — some of them are wood, some are painted on, some are artwork, etc. — and you could totally do that while putting the bed up on some sort of not-a-frame-per-se to make it look however you want. Good luck! 2 agree Reply I have a platform bed from ikea. No headboard, it's basically a rectangular prism chock full of drawers. extra storage space and it doesn't make any more noise than a mattress. plus, it really pulled the room together! 5 agree Reply I'm in Australia so the terms are a little different – I have a ensemble bed (box spring?) which I took the wheels off so it sits directly on the ground. Me and hubs aren't petite and I'm an "active/annoying" sleeper and no noise! This is an old bed too! And as an above poster sai you can get detached headboards that are lovely. 2 agree Reply Squeaking and bed noise comes most from a bedframe that has some movement. So if it isn't absolutely tight at every join, you get a headboard that can hit the wall and squeaks from wood and joiners rubbing. A platform bed, as others have suggested, is your best bet for an actual bedframe that is silent. Alternately, if you have a bed with a higher boxspring and get just a plain metal frame to hold it off the floor (that's what we have, with wheels on it, and the bed comes up just below my hip), you can always make a headboard to attach to the wall. That way it isn't attached to your bed and this cannot squeak from movement. Basically, you want solid construction, not frames that have a headboard and foot board and bars between to attach. The more joints there are that can move or loosen, the more noise the bed will make and the looser those joints will get with action. (Floors squeak for similar reasons and you can use talcum powder between the boards to help minimize this, not great for a bed though.) 8 agree Reply And if you have a metal frame, squirt a little WD-40 around all the joints/screws. Keeps them lubed (heh) & they won't squeak as they loosen over time. 11 agree Reply I'd second the platform bed thing and add that a foam or latex mattress is also helpful. We sleep on a murphy bed, which means the "headboard" is literally attached to the wall, it is basically a platform with no springs or box springs and on a latex mattress (from Ikea). Pretty much sound-free. 1 agrees Reply This one http://www.potterybarn.com/products/stratton-bed-with-baskets/?pkey=cbeds-headboards 3 agree Reply That bed is so gorgeous. I wish I weren't poor. 16 agree Reply eh…we have this, and while it's great for storage (we use the baskets for our dirty laundry, sorted by whites/lights/darks), it's not the quietest on hardwoods. we've always had one of those rubbery rug pads under it, but will soon switch to a full-on rug — insulate the noise and friction a bit between the wood floor and the significant footprint this thing has. 1 agrees Reply Jaya, Thats the bed!!! Should do the trick. 1 agrees Reply My EQ3 Bento bed belays that problem quite effectively. Upholstered beds tend to be heavier and as such quieter. 3 agree Reply Pretty much what everyone else said. The fewer joints and the tighter the joints the less noise they make for the frame itself. The headboard and footboard need to be attached very tightly and the thicker that joint is the better. My last headboard attached by two screws and it was horribly noisy. Having a headboard that mounts to the wall instead of the frame minimizes the movement being transferred and keeps things quiet too. Reply I built mine…with landscape bricks/blocks and 2×4's. It does not move, or make any noise at all! I painted an old door, set it on a few random long pieces of wood so it is up high enough; done. Total it cost me about $40 to make this bed "frame." The only time it makes noise against the wall is if we are leaning up against the headboard/door while having sex, or it get super vigorous and pillows are slamming against the headboard. I like the idea of a swimming noodle to stop the noise. I had not thought about hanging my headboard door on the wall…maybe when we move from apt to house I will do that! Great idea! 4 agree Reply Do you have any pictures of the frame? I would love to see it! 10 agree Reply I do not! I will try and take some, however, a cleaning of the room must first be done! Maybe that will be my project over the weekend… 5 agree Reply Hi, How many bricks needed for queen size? Where do you get those bricks? Thanks. 2 agree Reply Did you get any pictures? Reply My SO and I have the round bed that ikea used to sell, and that thing is quiet and sturdy. 1 agrees Reply I always used to lust over that bed every time I went to ikea 5 agree Reply The bed I'm on right now isn't my own, but it's solid wood and extremely sturdy and stable and quiet. I think the trick is to get a really thick and well-built frame; it'll cost extra, but it'll last you a longer amount of time anyways. I've tried a few jerking movements out and this headboard hasn't gone a centimeter closer to the wall. And I can't say I've noticed any noise from it when my husband and I are thoroughly enjoying it. Reply You need to get a better bed! I have a metal one from crate and barrel, and once you tighten the screws with the self-locking washers, that thing isn't going to move. It's literally ROCK SOLID. You can find it! I had the same problem with my creaky old wooden frame, and having a daughter, and now I just am able to have quiet sex when necessary, it's so much easier to get into the mood. 3 agree Reply Under no circumstances this one: http://www.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/products/S99849961/ holy crap, it squeaks if you freaking breath too hard… granted if you're into the rhythmic squeaky squeaky squeaky totally go for it, but we are not and it is annoying. I'm excited to hear about the WD40 idea though. 4 agree Reply I have had great success with this: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B001GQ87NY/ref=wms_ohs_product. I believe it comes in bigger sizes, and it's much sturdier construction than it looks. It's made to be used without a box spring which I needed. Right now I have carpet floors which helps probably, but even in my old place on wood floors, I didn't have to worry about squeaking. I think I've had it over a year at this point with no weird sex sounds emanating from it. 1 agrees Reply This is amazing (and affordable)! The reviews mention it feeling off if your mattress is crappy- do you have a really nice mattress? I'm not cheap when it comes to mattresses, so it's not too much of a problem if it needs a big ol' thick one to work. 2 agree Reply Actually, I think my mattress is on the cheap side. If it's not cheap, it's definitely over 10 years old, and it's a traditional spring mattress too. It's one I took with me to a new place after I went through a break up and lost custody of the tempurpedic. 1 agrees Reply I have this one is a queen size and its super squeaky. The neighbors below us came up and knocked on our door 15 minutes into the session. Now, I'm here looking for alternatives. Lol 1 agrees Reply When I had problems with my bed creaking, it wasn't the frame, but the box spring (probably because my friend and I destroyed it by having a jump on the bed party one day). I tossed it out and put some boards across the bed frame instead. Problem solved! 3 agree Reply My previous frame was a shocking sqeaker. Ever time I twitched it would make a noise. Till I put WD-40 on all the joints. Win! 1 agrees Reply We use to have a sleep number bed. We now just use the frame with our mattress on top of it. It is all made of plastic and snaps together. We have never had a noise problem and we are large people. 2 agree Reply Ah, this makes me think of college. My college dorms all had these twin-size mattresses covered with some kind of vinyl that seemed like it belonged in a haz-mat situation. We called them "birth control mattresses" because every movement was pretty well broadcasted. 2 agree Reply My dorm roommate and I both had boyfriends who had extra creepy roommates (my boyfriend's roommate actually filmed us having sex by putting a sneaky webcam up). After determining that we were basically just going to have to deal with sex happening we discussed solutions. Thus began a dorm trend of putting an additional fitted sheet on the under side of these mattresses. Hers was awkwardly much smaller than the frame, so she added another comforter underneath too. BAM! Quiet sex. I am still (10 years later) pretty impressed with our ingenuity and fortitude. 1 agrees Reply My advice is to buy the best frame you can afford. Stick with real wood, not laminate or press-board. And the higher quality ones will use screws to put them together, not clips or weird little quick connectors. The biggest advantage of real wood and screws is, over the years as the frame loosens up (and they all do), you can tighten it back up again – even going up a size larger screw if needed. The frame I have is a solid pine platform frame, large headboard with assorted compartments in it, and drawers underneath. We've had it for 30 years and, with regular tightening/replacing of the screws, it's still solid and silent. 2 agree Reply I think mattress can have a huge affect(or is it effect? grammar nazi's please help) on noise as well. I have the fake memory foam mattress from overstock.com and with a well padded carpet and metal frame its pretty quiet. The problem then is the memory foam does make you have to work harder especially when brand new. The whole these mattresses don't transfer force easily has a small hindrance in helping you to keep strong movements up. Since we got our house it definitely has gotten pretty quiet in regards to squeaks unless super duper heavy stuff is going on so that's why I think the carpet can also help(unless I am apparently that distracted, but being too noisy if others are in the house is a fear of mine so I do try to take stock for whenever kids happen). Our old apartment had that flat carpet so not too much in cushioning under it. Reply "Effect" is usually a noun, "affect" is usually a verb. Remember "a" is for "action". 10 agree Reply I add my vote to the platform bed! We got ours at Sears and have no complaints. Not a peep! The lack of headboard and storage/weight in the drawers on the bottom really help to keep that sucker from moving. I'm planning on making my own headboard and just attaching it to the wall with a French hinge. http://www.sears.ca/product/storage-bed-base/601-12019-12019 1 agrees Reply My bedframe in my childhood home is a couple of hundred years old and so loud! In the house I live now I don't have a headboard so it's quiet. That is unless I accidentally bang my head on the wall . . 2 agree Reply My husband and I think we solved the problem by not using the metal frame portion of our bed and built a wood frame to lift the mattresses off the floor. We set all of that inside of the wood frame construction of the big dramatic bed we have. Double bonus points: A tall padded head board. Works great, the mattress isn't bouncing and the frame doesn't make that "Hey everyone we are doing it" squeak. 2 agree Reply Oh I HATE bed squeaking. Way back in high school my boy's parents suggested we move the bed away from the walls before hand (HAHA imagine that conversation, it was great). If we were "in the heat of the moment" we just threw a blanket on the floor. and still do sometimes. Even though we live alone now, the bed squeaking is horrible. It mostly has to do with the spring mattress being super old. I've stayed on those memory foam mattresses and I'm saving up money for one. Super quiet. Now to just grease those joints. 2 agree Reply Tatami mat beds. Solid as a rock. (Yes, I own one). http://www.japanshoji.com/raku-platform-beds.htm 3 agree Reply thank goodness you asked the question!! We got rid of our bed frame last year as the kids are getting old enough to realize what the heck we are doing if there is noise. I'd love to have a bedframe again. Lots of ideas now = AWESOME 1 agrees Reply Oh my goodness! I have the squeakiest bed and mattress, neither of which are much older than a year. If I even sit on it the whole thing shrieks in protest, and I'm pretty small. And the only sex I have is on the floor (carpet rash isn't very subtle) or when the family are out. I'll be WD40-ing the sh*t out of my metal frame ASAP. But is there anyway to stop the spring mattress from announcing my every movement to everyone? (other than flipping it, which hasn't worked) 1 agrees Reply Funny article. Never thoutght about this, lol Reply I have a platform bed with a memory foam mattress and it is silent. We stayed at a hotel recently to celebrate our anniversary and I totally had forgotten how much noise beds can make. hahaha Reply Just broke my king-size Ikea Malm…it's not worth it. It weakens with time. This time there is no clear repair because the mid beam broke while I was having sex. I was thinking of designing my own bed out of hollowed-out aluminum and circular supports. It seems that bed engineers are purposely making these bed frames so that they brake over time. 2 agree Reply this one, http://www.walmart.com/ip/Wooden-Slat-Bed-Frame-Black/11080079 and this one, http://www.walmart.com/ip/Premier-Platform-Bed-Frame/12082083 we have had both and they are quiet no matter how bouncy we are above. Reply There are several quiet bed frames, you just have to look out for them. I highly recommend the Sleep Master Bed Frame. It's affordable and gets the job done. 1 agrees Reply check out Crate Designs, solid wood and sound proof. And you can add storage too. check them out…. http://www.crate.ca Reply I had a squeaky wood frame bed, we fixed the squeaks right out of it by taking the joints apart and putting in a layer of thick felt between the places where the wood rubs up against each other. Worked like a charm. 1 agrees Reply I have a bed that I built myself. Crazy part about it is that I never built a bed before and I did it in two days. The bed is solid. I have a footboard and a headboard. The beds these days did not fit to my satisfaction. They look like garbage for the money. People that I have shown the bed to can say that it is an easily 2000.00 dollar bed. I couldn't agree more due to how sturdy it is. Check this out, I have this lamp that can stand on itself and the little monkeys can jump on it and guess what, the lamp would not even wanna move. Instead of those pencil bolts that beds typically use, I got me some 1/2 inch (width) bolts and its solid. I have a total of 8 bolts. I actually work at this desk for work, but am thinking about going into the bed business. I wish I could post a pic of it on this site. By the way, my headboard is like 1.5 inches away from the wall. 1 agrees Reply Do u have any pics, materials list etc of what u made? 1 agrees Reply Definitely curious about pictures Reply I've had this problem before after about a year with an older metal bed frame. For that reason alone I've moved onto Wooden Beds – I got mine from a fab company who has each one handmade to order and best thing is…no creaking or squeaking! It's actually incredibly solid! 1 agrees Reply We have a Stickley cherry wood bed, California king. Top of the line sealey mattress. The construction of the bed is impeccable. This bed makes no noise and does not hit the wall. It's absolutely gorgeous too. 5 years of regular use, and never a creak. We even keep a bondage rig underneath for adventurous playtime! The bed was over $5k without mattress, so very expensive though. Reply I see this is an older post, but I wanted to share my solutions. First off, get a foam based matress or a sleep number bed. This dramatically reduces squeaking and bouncing noises. Second, purchase a platform bed frame from Sleep Number (about $300). It is lego-like and made of a PVC-like plastic. The advantage of this is that it slowly adjusts and conforms to the warping of any floor. It is very solid and extremely easy to move. Well worth the price, considering many of us must have spent over $1000 trying other types of frames and platforms. Third, buy a pack of foam exercise workout pads (about $20 for 8 squares). I put these under my bed legs and behind the headboard. Fourth, if you must get a headboard, mount it on the wall, not the bed. Add some exercise foam padding to the back to prevent any vibration/banging. The final result: Absolutely no creaking, no sliding, no banging, no noise … well except the vocal ones…! And if you can afford it, buy the bed from Sleep Number. Best sleep of my life and no risk of bed bugs. So easy I can move it in the trunk of a sedan. 2 agree Reply Join the conversation Cancel Reply Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked * Comment Notify me of follow-up comments by email. No-drama comment policy Part of what makes the Offbeat Empire different is our commitment to civil, constructive commenting. Make sure you're familiar with our no-drama comment policy.