Category Archive


Maintaining friendships without losing yourself in Mommyland

I started to feel a bit irritated that most of them didn’t seem to understand the limitations of late pregnancy. And then I took a step back and realized that a few short years ago, I was the one who didn’t understand. I remembered that what I should focus on was the fact that they wanted to include me enough that, in the end, they had me pick the activity so I’d have fun and be comfortable, too.

Why are moms so hesitant to view their male partners as full, competent parents?

The first time it happened, I was at a Mothers of Multiples Club welcome brunch. My fantasy was that my terror of the impending birth of my twins would dissipate as soon as I met the wise kindred spirits who would be guiding me through the transition to multiple-motherhood. Much to my surprise, however, brunch soon descended into a partner-bashing session, replete with the kind of ominous warnings I would receive over and over during my pregnancy.

I want a doula, but my partner doesn’t. What to do?

I’m only 13 weeks, so this is super early, but I’ve been thinking about how much I’d like a doula with me during labor. I’m not super crunchy, but I plan on having an unmedicated birth and I’m really happy with my choice in hospital and doctor. However, I also think a doula would provide even more support and make it as close to the experience that we want as possible.

How do you create a village for your child when you don’t have a network?

My partner and I are considering having children sometime in the next few years, but the question of “community” has been holding us back. We both grew up in religious households but we are pretty much agnostic. However, we both know how powerful that supporting community can be.

I’m happy I’m parenting with my more onbeat partner

After learning I was pregnant in December of last year I immediately embraced the idea of being a radical young mom. I was thrilled about planning a water birth at home, about babywearing, sleep sharing, cloth diapering, maintaining a vegetarian diet, questioning vaccines, etc. Excited about the baby but suddenly thrust into a whole new world of pressure, my partner was much more skeptical than enthusiastic about many of my parenting ideals.

My daughter is building a relationship with the mother I grew up without

Last weekend I watched my nine-year-old daughter Francesca swim in the Hudson River with my mother. This would not have been a remarkable event if I had ever gone swimming with my mother as a child. Or listened to her read bedtime stories or felt her lips on my cheek or watched her eyes widen in delight as I presented her with a hand-made Mother’s Day card. I didn’t do any of these things with my mother because I didn’t meet her until I was a junior in college.

Fighting with your teenage daughter can really suck

Meadow doesn’t seem to know how deeply I am affected by these fights… but maybe I don’t realize how they affect her.

Why age doesn’t matter in marriage or parenthood

Ruth is a twenty-seven year old mama married to a sixty-two year old man — and you thought you had to deal with looks when you go out?!