On unexpectedly finding love after feeling like I don’t deserve it
I gave bits and pieces of myself to people that never really earned it. I was hurt repeatedly, but was okay with that, because I thought “I deserved it.” I had a resentment buried down inside of me so deep that it had tainted my being. I was told I wasn’t good enough and I believed it — I let myself believe his words. I had never looked in someone’s eyes and saw love. I just kept living with mediocrity.
And then I met her…
Aromanticism: What if romantic love goes extinct?
A musician I adore named Moses Sumney has a new album called Aromanticism. It’s an exploration of our cultural fixation on romantic love, something that Moses says he’s never experienced.
I’m reminded of this article: Have Smartphones Destroyed a Generation? And all the news about how teens aren’t having as much sex.
And then I think about this old post I wrote about how my grandchildren will shock me…
How do you handle money and debt in a relationship?
My partner and I are cool with a lot of things, but in certain arenas we just don’t line up. How do you reconcile it when one person in a relationship feels that debt is a sad reality of this modern life, and accepts debt as “just something that happens,” and the other person is more in line with the “DEBT IS AN EMERGENCY” kinda deal?
I’m just curious how people reconcile different attitudes toward saving money.
How I found personal freedom in a partnership
If you had described my current relationship to me before I was in it, I’d have walked — run! — away from the best thing I’ve ever known.
Turns out, I learned that I can be a more authentic me inside our relationship, because I’m loved and supported in a way that I often fail to love and support myself.
Living in the home your partner owns: “Welcome to the secret society of imposter syndrome ‘housewives'”
I’m definitely beyond excited and happy to be living with with my partner. But, I find that I’m struggling with living with someone who owns their own house for a lot of reasons…
How an Offbeat Bride realized “the picture perfect relationship” is a lie
Rocky relationships, fights, talks about breaking up… sometimes relationships aren’t all sunshine and rainbows. Sometimes they’re not the perfect instagram photo of the two super-smile-y fuckers that you wish you could be. Guess what: Those super-smile-y fuckers aren’t perfect either.
How hockey helped me heal from an abusive relationship
I was almost five years into an abusive relationship, and at best, I was bereft of both self-esteem and hope. The good news is that a month and a half later, I finally got up enough courage to leave. At the time, I thought it was a temporary measure to help him realize that what he was doing was wrong. But it turned into a journey of recovery and self-discovery that I’m still taking today. None of it has been easy, but a lot of that journey has been aided by playing hockey…
A US military pre-op trans woman and fiancée ponder parenthood
As a pre-op trans woman struggling with life in the US Armed Forces (while “Don’t ask, don’t tell” is not gone, transgender people are still forced to live in the dark) who had just arrived at a new command with no friends, no idea what I was in for, and no clue who I could trust. A dream of a woman — who was also fairly new to the command — entered into my life. At the time I assumed I had no chance with her. Even if I did, all the heartbreak I had experienced over the years had left me believing that the women I’m attracted to never understand my journey as a transgender woman, and are never willing to help me through the issues I deal with on a daily basis.